My SN is coming today. I haven't ordered anti vomiting pills yet but I want to do it today. I can get antacids from drug store. But, should I do it today or wait to get the pills?
Lilanel
Member
- Jul 16, 2019
- 45
I am feeling extremely unwell today - I know it's an impulse decision but I want to get out today
I was thinking to ctb over thanksgiving becoz my roommate and boyfriend will be out of town. I would have the whole place to myself.
Lilanel
Member
- Jul 16, 2019
- 45
it's really up to you. From what I've read about the SN method, if you skip the anti-emetics, there's less guarantee of success.
If it were me, I wouldn't rush—I always feel like I have an eternity to be dead. However, I don't know what it's like to be you, so it has to be a judgment call.
Life+me=error
Warlock
- May 22, 2019
- 736
Killing yourself isn't the right solution here especially not with your chosen method. Try to relax, I am sure you will feel a little bit better later today.
Remember, it is essential to be fully prepared before attempting to commit suicide with SN.
might take even 8hours sometime, if you want to talk in private Im here for you now, u can say why u feel like this
Stan
Factoid Hunter
- Aug 29, 2019
- 2,589
I am sorry that you are feeling this way at the moment, it must be hard to put into words the full extent of how you are feeling. There was a time not too long ago I was in the same place. Had everything I needed and was ready to check out because a bunch of triggers happened that day and it was well before the optimum time I had set myself to minimise any trauma by those who survive me. I have had the honour that people have spoken to me in private, these people do not really post much on the forum. A few hit a moment and decided to go on impulse. Some succeeded and some failed. The reason they failed is that once they drunk it, a sudden realisation came to them that this was not their time and they had so many things to do. I would urge you to look at that fact. Preparing is not just getting your regimen together. There are things like letters and other things not relating to the act itself that needs to be done. Hoping that you can make your way through today. i coped by getting out of the home and going for an extremely long walk, finding a coffee shop, sat down, read some non suicide related things on my phone and people watched for a while. It helped me to get off the ledge so to speak.
Stan, thanks a lot for your kind words. It means a lot. I think if I ever decide to ctb it would be an impulse decision becoz I don't want to die. I just keep waiting for triggers so I finally do it. Tbh, I don't want to die - I am 22 and there is so much that can change. But, I can't seem to forgive myself for my past mistakes. I can't live a life like this but I can't get the energy to change things. It is so much work to turn your life around - I know there is help but its just so much work. I would rather just die.
Meant2Die
Specialist
- Nov 8, 2019
- 307
Yes please wait until you get the antiemetics, it seems they are so important to the success in this method. The last thing you want is to end up in a psych ward which would be much worse than what you are experiencing is probably. I'm so sorry for your pain, but to doit correctly it seems like it needs careful planning and time.
Stan
Factoid Hunter
- Aug 29, 2019
- 2,589
It's pretty hard at times to be able to forgive yourself, especially when the 'but I won't forget' thing comes into play. Life is full of mistakes, it's part of the learning process. I am sure that 100% of the group here has made a few with different magnitude in size, scale and impact. Unless what you did would be instantly recognised as morally heinous and carries a significant prison sentence, then you need to understand within yourself why the forgiveness is so hard to give. Forgiveness should to some degree give you the permission to move on and do something and perhaps contribute to society in some way as your penance. Nobody can tell you to forgive yourself, it is a gift that only you can give. Not all the platitudes in the world will change that fact. Maybe you need to talk it out somehow to see if someone can give you a different angle to look at your situation. Then perhaps some coping techniques for when, for whatever reason, you remember and all these feelings come back. You said it yourself - "I don't want to die". Feel free to reach out if you want to chat.
Don't be impusilve before ctb. Clear your mind. Think all the possibilities.
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