Should I tell my partner before I go

[waterbaby100]

I'm very lucky to have a wonderful and supportive partner. But I have been this unwell before and it was too much for both of us. Having said that I love them deeply and feel so guilty for not letting them know I'm planning to ctb

 

[imii]

you should speak with them about it

 

[InTheStars]

Imagine you found your partner dead, how would you feel?

 

[waterbaby100]

There are no words to describe that

 

[Praestat_Mori]

If you tell your partner they will interfere.

Is there no other solution for you? Why are you unwell? Why do you wanna CTB so badly?

 

[waterbaby100]

Untreatable depression and anxiety

 

[Corvette90]

I'm sorry you are in a dark place again. You have expressed how much you love and care for your partner. No one can really tell you what to do. It seems to me that you do want to share this with them. Depression makes us have cloudy thoughts. I'm pretty honest with the people around me. It can be very stressful for anyone who loves us but I do think you should give your partner a chance to help you again. I think they would feel more guilt if you went ahead and ctb. either way it's your life and decision. x x

 

[galaxid]

I think you should talk to them, too. I understand the guilt. Nothing I say could ease how responsible they might feel. But you can plan ahead for what you want to say.

I told my partner that if I do end up ctb, its not their fault. I'm in this losing battle against my mind and I'm really, really trying to stick to living. Even if its just for now. But no matter what I say, they're going to suffer, and that suffering will be my fault.

Untreatable depression and anxiety

Also, same here. My recommedation is to not be too specific about the details of ctb, but be honest about how terrible you're feeling. That's the important part. Plans are subject to change sometimes for reasons we can't anticipate. But the chances of them making the executive decision to protect you from yourself is certainly something to consider. Its something I worry they might do, at least. If my partner told me they had concrete plans to ctb, I can't imagine what I might say or do. Personally, calling the psych ward wouldn't be on the list, but you never know.

I'm wishing you good luck.

 

[waterbaby100]

I think you should talk to them, too. I understand the guilt. Nothing I say could ease how responsible they might feel. But you can plan ahead for what you want to say.

I told my partner that if I do end up ctb, its not their fault. I'm in this losing battle against my mind and I'm really, really trying to stick to living. Even if its just for now. But no matter what I say, they're going to suffer, and that suffering will be my fault.


Also, same here. My recommedation is to not be too specific about the details of ctb, but be honest about how terrible you're feeling. That's the important part. Plans are subject to change sometimes for reasons we can't anticipate. But the chances of them making the executive decision to protect you from yourself is certainly something to consider. Its something I worry they might do, at least. If my partner told me they had concrete plans to ctb, I can't imagine what I might say or do. Personally, calling the psych ward wouldn't be on the list, but you never know.

I'm wishing you good luck.

Thank you. Last time I voluntarily went to hospital for a week. For me it was not the right decision at all. But I was not forced to go. I think it can work for some....but for me it just gave me clarity that I would never go back

 

[galaxid]

Thank you. Last time I voluntarily went to hospital for a week. For me it was not the right decision at all. But I was not forced to go. I think it can work for some....but for me it just gave me clarity that I would never go back

Same here. I drove myself to the ER, thinking they might actually let me leave or something when I felt better. Hah. Spent days in there, then ended up going to a great hospital that really improved my mood. Shortly after they discharged me because I was 'fine'. I mean I felt great in there; it gave me all this hope that I could get better. Then I came out and went straight back to hell. Treatment resistant depression strikes again.

 

[LimpandNumb]

I think this is a very personal decision with no right or wrong answer.
I wish you peace.

 

[Rymrgand]

This is a bit of a mess. If you CTB, it will be a serious trauma for them. Even worse, I think, if you don't tell them. I think you should tell them.

The problem is that they will probably ask you to not do it. They may ask you to promise to not do it, and they may even tell someone so you go to a hospital.

But if I'm honest, I think you should try to recover, if not for you, for them. As far as I know, your illness is not necessarily unrecoverable and you haven't tried to recover with their help, and if they are really so supportive, they may be able to help you.

In any case, I think you should tell them. They are an adult and this is something that it affects them too. They deserve to know so they can make a decision themselves. If they want to try to help you, if they want to break up or if they accept it and want to be with you until you CTB, that's their choice as much as CTB or not is yours.