Discussion Should suicidal people stay away from relationships?

[Asylla]

I've been thinking about that a lot lately. I've heard a lot of people argue that suicidal people shouldn't be in relationships because of the risk of having a serious negative impact on their partner's mental health.

Personally I feel like the only way to make it work would be to hide the fact that you're suicidal or severely depressed from them, and to break up the relationship at least a few months before making any attempts. Which I understand isn't always possible to do.

 

[tourmaline]

Of course not. A suicide would have an equally negative impact on close friends. Should suicidal people just isolate themselves from society completely and live the rest of their time on earth lonelier than anyone deserves? Bad things happening and people having to deal with it is a part of life. Although I do agree about hiding the fact that you're actively suicidal from the ones that are closest to you. They will try to stop you and it will get messy.

 

[Alysia]

I've been thinking about that a lot lately. I've heard a lot of people argue that suicidal people shouldn't be in relationships because of the risk of having a serious negative impact on their partner's mental health.

Personally I feel like the only way to make it work would be to hide the fact that you're suicidal or severely depressed from them, and to break up the relationship at least a few months before making any attempts. Which I understand isn't always possible to do.

I have thought about this, too, and my conclusion so far has been exactly like yours as well, in order to cause the least amount of harm to everyone involved (other people not knowing you killed yourself and you knowing other (anti-suicide) people won't carry that burden on them).

In fact I currently find myself in a situation where I went and told a dear online friend about my suicidal feelings, in hopes of talking about it to make it better, only to discover they were rather anti-suicide and somewhat judgemental about it, probably like most people would be I feel like. Made me feel like my feelings weren't understood, respected or valid and now I'm debating whether I should politely part ways with them because I might be going to the blissful void by the end of the year and if I keep them as my friend they would know I did it and when I did it most likely because we chat daily. I'm also not really sure if I want them as a friend anymore I feel like.

 

[Midnight]

It depends ... If for instance a relationship makes you less or non-suicidal why shouldn't it be ok? I was thinking of suicide for 10 years when i met my ex gf. Believe it or not my depression was almost completely gone for the 3 years we where together. It's been 2 years since and i'm back to my former state of mind. To be honest though this time my mind is so far gone that i don't think a relationship would fix things like it did before. Mostly because the reason for my depression is no longer the fact that i'm alone but simply because i'm done with life altogether.

If one thinks his/her depression suicidal thoughts would be uninfluenced by a current or new relationship then maybe it's not such a good idea ... But who am i to judge. There are too many factors that play a role in this to just answer yes or no.

 

[Dead_Inside]

I definitely feel like my suicidal self has damaged the people in my life.... I wish I hadn't failed because I was able to hide it but now ....
I am in a relationship otherwise I would not start one like this. I wouldn't want to put the burden of my suicide on any one. I have told the person I am with that they can and probably should just leave me. But they don't want to.

 

[RainAndSadness]

I'm currently in a relationship and I'm gonna commit suicide soon. And I'm noticing an enormous struggle inside of me. I don't want to hurt my girlfriend. I just can't do it. It would be anything but responsible and I personally believe I made a mistake when entering a relationship 3 months ago. I should have known better. I know I was suicidal. Now I have a dilemma to solve because I need to leave soon. But I also need to make sure I won't hurt her, which is almost impossible in my case. She is the last string that keeps me from doing it right now. But I will have to solve this problem within a short period of time because I don't plan to stay for much longer. I'm gonna leave. There is nothing that can change my mind anymore. I'm desperate to end it. I made my decision. I made my plans and now I have finally the right method. I also have the right substance in my possession. Everything is unfolding. I just need to release my last anchor, in my case my girlfriend, then I'm gonna be free. Free to leave this world without any regrets.

TL;DR I recommend to stay away from relationships.

 

[Tiburcio]

I used to talk with a woman who listened all my problems and ever tried to help me ever she can. I stop talking with her because I thought if I plan to kill myself soon it has no sense, but I don't think my death will be painful anyway, we don't know each other very much. Also she is suicidal too and this can happen in a reverse order.

Also I fear that creating some emotional link could push me back when my time is right, and I don't want to live more time.

What should I do?

 

[deflagrat]

For me it's like this: I am such a loser that having a relationship would be impossible. Going out? No money. What do you do for a living? Sleep, eat, be in my computer (okay, so nothing...). Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Exactly in the same place.

Best recipe for success!

 

[maktubler]

The problem is that many people don't know they are suicidal till life fucks with them. Even if you do know, do you mention it at the beginning of the relationship or half way into it?

 

[Panda]

Only yourself can decide something like this I think, but it definitely requires looking deeply within yourself. How much do you want to die, are you committed to the cause of ending your own life? If you are then it's irresponsible to get into a relationship and neglect to mention something like that. You may end up hurting someone else in a way that you yourself have been hurt, think about that, or even end up hurting yourself more.

If you feel suicidal and plan it and things, but reserve a bit of hope in the back of your mind, then it's completely different but still the right thing would be to be honest. If they run a mile then so be it, do you want someone to love you under false pretenses? Someone who could see the flaws but still love you regardless would be the best thing. I was watching a british TV program where a man fell in love with a bipolar woman, the way it's written was pretty amazing and almost made me cry because it made me feel a certain good way about myself, everybody else would laugh, ridicule and mock this woman but the man who fell in love with her never did and loved her all the same even at her most sporadic times.

Good luck.