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zekeyaeger

zekeyaeger

Student
Mar 30, 2023
158
Before I had hanging as the only option so in my mind it made sense to be afraid of failing it and the pain it comes with, in general. Plus, it is not that reliable from what I hear. But now I have SN and the meds with me, but I still fail to do it. I have this fear overcome my senses when I try to make an attempt, Painkiller in, Meto in, I can't move further. This is so fucked. I really need to make a choice here.
 
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TragedyBornCrimson

TragedyBornCrimson

I accept my eternal punishment
Oct 19, 2023
245
It's a really hard choice to make. There is definitely a difference between thinking about it and going through with ctb.
 
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futurebuscatcher

futurebuscatcher

Cat Connoisseur
Sep 15, 2024
89
Yeah I keep pussying out. I'm just waiting for something to push me over the edge with my mania and all. Considering sabotaging my relationships to speed up the process or maybe even going off my meds
 
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zekeyaeger

zekeyaeger

Student
Mar 30, 2023
158
Yeah I keep pussying out. I'm just waiting for something to push me over the edge with my mania and all. Considering sabotaging my relationships to speed up the process or maybe even going off my meds
I feel you. Shit sucks balls.
 
ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,346
This is why I can't comprehend it when pro lifer idiots talk about how easy suicide is to do. Suicide is perhaps one of the most difficult and bravest things that somebody can do. It requires a lot of courage and to fight against billions of years of evolutionary biology
 
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P

pulleditnearlyoff

Experienced
Apr 26, 2024
212
Before I had hanging as the only option so in my mind it made sense to be afraid of failing it and the pain it comes with, in general. Plus, it is not that reliable from what I hear. But now I have SN and the meds with me, but I still fail to do it. I have this fear overcome my senses when I try to make an attempt, Painkiller in, Meto in, I can't move further. This is so fucked. I really need to make a choice here.
Sounds like me, for over two years now. It's so exhausting!
 
pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
2,799
for one thing you need to be extremely brave and courageous to be able to kill yourself. they have everyone believing another lie that "suicide is the coward's way out" .imo living is the stupid dangerous thing because anyday something very horrible can happen to any human . and you have to work 15 hours per day a job and chores for no objective reason only to exist under threat of extreme torture.

it requires a lot of courage to take a shotgun and blow your head to pieces, same for jumping hanging or any killing of yourself.
 
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