Lo$t95
Member
- Jul 16, 2024
- 54
Feeling a lot of weight on my chest recently tying up loose ends leading up to CTB deadline before turning 30. Hard to breathe sometimes then numb for a few days and then loneliness hits like a brick wall again. Method is secured just no sense of impending relief accompanied it.
Approaching 30 feels so shameful. Like crawling down a path closer to a shadowy figure representing a landmark in your life and it simply looks down at me with disgust. 15 year old me standing so far behind looking on wondering why I even bothered persevering this far through life.
I knew from a young age this was never going to be a life worth living. The ending was always the same destination and delaying it accomplished less than nothing. I will just be an older looking corpse now. I fucking hate myself so much its unreal.
Approaching 30 feels so shameful. Like crawling down a path closer to a shadowy figure representing a landmark in your life and it simply looks down at me with disgust. 15 year old me standing so far behind looking on wondering why I even bothered persevering this far through life.
I knew from a young age this was never going to be a life worth living. The ending was always the same destination and delaying it accomplished less than nothing. I will just be an older looking corpse now. I fucking hate myself so much its unreal.