Smash Tournament Thoughts

[Water-Lily]

Mental Descent: Smash Bros

GAME!

The word in all caps and green appears in the screen. The game ended in a lose, as usual

I don't always lose. I've gotten some wins here and there. But maybe because my mental health is at a low point (or I'm just choosing to be stupid) that the loss is hurting a lot more

This is a common and repetitive feeling. Winning strokes my ego. Losing breaks my soul

My opponent as per being a good sport put out his fist. Tbh, I wanted to get up and walk away but did the "right" thing and fist bumped him back. Pathetic

Tbh, I've been nothing but a bitch this entire week. I feel my losses makes me a player who is deemed unworthy. That I take up space for better players who people would rather root for

I am sure almost no one watches my matches live. Why would they? There are better and more entertaining plays

It doesn't help that I choose not to practice, take notes, or watch videos. I just show up hoping and win. And that's not cutting it

The question is, do I want to out in the work to change. The answer is no

So, for now, I'll keep being an emotional dead pan bitch. One who walks past people who say hi or try to talk. Someone who avoids eye contact and conversation

I feel small I'm pathetic

I feel small I'm pathetic

I feel small I'm pathetic

I just hate myself. I just wish I'd disappear already

 

[QueerMelancholy]

I have nothing of any substance to add to this but good luck hun! I hope you do well.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Which Smash were you playing? I completely understand because I used to lose at tournaments all the time too.