So alone don’t know what to do

[cazza82]

I just don't know what to do anymore I see my counsellor on the 8th is it even worth going back yes she's the only one that's listened to Me and gave me hope but everyone else doctors drugs workers everyone have turned their backs or slammed the door in my face why do they tell you to reach out for help if they don't do anything they are validating how I feel about myself I've never felt so alone in my life as I do now I'm trying everything I've even spoken to Samaritans well contacted them and surprise surprise I've heard nothing back my sessions finish soon with my counsellor I'm feeling like maybe I shouldn't go back because I'm not gonna have her to talk to anymore and I'm gonna be left alone to deal with everything anyway that's another door shut in my face There's nothing more I can do. Not one person on this planet thinks I'm worth helping and sticking by. They always let you down I literally don't matter maybe it's time to start embracing the dark thoughts instead of trying everything to ignore them I hate people

 

[babouflo201223]

Je ne sais plus quoi faire. Je vois ma conseillère le 8. Est-ce que ça vaut la peine d'y retourner ? Oui, c'est la seule qui m'a écoutée et qui m'a donné de l'espoir. Mais tous les autres, médecins, médicaments, travailleurs, tout le monde m'a tourné le dos ou m'a claqué la porte au nez. Pourquoi vous disent-ils de demander de l'aide ? S'ils ne font rien, ils valident ce que je ressens pour moi-même. Je ne me suis jamais sentie aussi seule de ma vie qu'en ce moment. J'essaie tout, j'ai même parlé aux Samaritains, je les ai contactés et, surprise, je n'ai eu aucune réponse. Mes séances avec ma conseillère se terminent bientôt. J'ai l'impression que je ne devrais peut-être pas y retourner parce que je n'aurai plus personne à qui parler et que je serai laissée seule pour gérer tout ça. C'est une autre porte qui me est fermée au nez. Je ne peux plus rien faire. Personne sur cette planète ne pense que je mérite d'être aidée et de rester à mes côtés. Ils te laissent toujours tomber, je n'ai littéralement aucune importance, il est peut-être temps de commencer à accepter les pensées sombres au lieu de tout essayer pour les ignorer. Je déteste les gens

Can you describe your situation a bit more ? In what country do you live ? How old are you ? Are you a man or a woman ? Haven't you family or friends to comfort you ? I just try to give you some interest, your loneliness touches me, I know this feeling very well and it's hell. Feel free to answer and if you don't want to answer, I understand too.

 

[cazza82]

Can you describe your situation a bit more ? In what country do you live ? How old are you ? Are you a man or a woman ? Haven't you family or friends to comfort you ? I just try to give you some interest, your loneliness touches me, I know this feeling very well and it's hell. Feel free to answer and if you don't want to answer, I understand too.

I'm female from the UK I'm 42 I'm not close to my family the people that are meant to care are the ones that are making me feel worthless normally I would just deal with my depression alone but since I started having dark thoughts and being so bad that I want to end my life I reached out and no one wants to help

 

[babouflo201223]

I understand, depression with dark thoughts turning always in your mind is a hell. I'm not very surprised if the people that are meant to care and, normally, to help you, finally don't. And of course it's too hard for you, exhausting, you really need help and they don't want to help or don't do anything for that. I'm depressed too, my girlfriend (after 16 years together) left 1 year ago to start a new life without me. I felt such a strong despair that I went 2 X 5 weeks into psychiatric hospital (end of december-january and end of april-may). Did they helped me ? No. Otherwise I would not be there since August, 18. If you can, please don't hate people (I understand why you say that anyway) but try to find someone that could understand you and your sufferings, maybe someone who shares that with you and you could help you each other. I don't say it would work for sure of course, but if you can please don't give up for the moment. It's not easy at all to CTB, it's easy to talk about but very difficult in fact. You're right to write and explain your feelings, your despair. Most of people here are full of kindness and can read you and comfort you.

 

[Shadowgeist]

I also understand the feeling of being alone, and how difficult it is to have no one. I can't afford therapy or the like. I don't have any real friendships, and all of my close family is dead, or distant family members who live in another state who I don't have any connection with. The loneliness is debilitating

 

[Ligottian]

I also understand the feeling of being alone, and how difficult it is to have no one. I can't afford therapy or the like. I don't have any real friendships, and all of my close family is dead, or distant family members who live in another state who I don't have any connection with. The loneliness is debilitating

More or less the same here. On Christmas Day, here I am, all alone, sipping beer, and browsing the computer.

 

[cazza82]

I understand, depression with dark thoughts turning always in your mind is a hell. I'm not very surprised if the people that are meant to care and, normally, to help you, finally don't. And of course it's too hard for you, exhausting, you really need help and they don't want to help or don't do anything for that. I'm depressed too, my girlfriend (after 16 years together) left 1 year ago to start a new life without me. I felt such a strong despair that I went 2 X 5 weeks into psychiatric hospital (end of december-january and end of april-may). Did they helped me ? No. Otherwise I would not be there since August, 18. If you can, please don't hate people (I understand why you say that anyway) but try to find someone that could understand you and your sufferings, maybe someone who shares that with you and you could help you each other. I don't say it would work for sure of course, but if you can please don't give up for the moment. It's not easy at all to CTB, it's easy to talk about but very difficult in fact. You're right to write and explain your feelings, your despair. Most of people here are full of kindness and can read you and comfort you.

I have a counsellor I see once a week but that's ending in February which terrifies me as she's the only one that has seen me and heard me at least I have tried I've reached out did all the right things I can't force them to care and want to help me and I'm definitely not strong enough to get better on my own but there's only so much one person can take and can only take so many rejections

I also understand the feeling of being alone, and how difficult it is to have no one. I can't afford therapy or the like. I don't have any real friendships, and all of my close family is dead, or distant family members who live in another state who I don't have any connection with. The loneliness is debilitating

Same I don't have friends or anyone I can open up to other than my counsellor feeling all alone in this world is the worst