nolongerhumannn
conny
- Sep 12, 2024
- 32
hey hello, been a bit since my last thread.
tbh at one point i considered writing a thread in the recovery channel, that hope lasted a decade aye? hahajahdjhdjh anyways as i digress, im fucking miserable.
i think i honestly just convince myself im not half the time, survive until it deems the "right time" a load of bullshit im aware, but part of the reason im so upset is probably the fact that im only not miserable when im fuckfaced with SOME sort of substance. because what the fuck?? it is NOT normal to have to be shitfaced the fuck outta on ket to get through a few hours of work.
also, inevitably, its taking a toll on my physical health, im so sick all the time, i feel like SHIT all the time.
another wonderful ponder thought; i wondered truly if recovering was something i could do, to quit being a pussy and at the very least try but fuck, how does one expect me to live dedicated to medication and just surviving, not living??
wish i could ignore a tab, walk past a bottle without a glimpse, maybe id have a chance then.
im so tired.
tbh at one point i considered writing a thread in the recovery channel, that hope lasted a decade aye? hahajahdjhdjh anyways as i digress, im fucking miserable.
i think i honestly just convince myself im not half the time, survive until it deems the "right time" a load of bullshit im aware, but part of the reason im so upset is probably the fact that im only not miserable when im fuckfaced with SOME sort of substance. because what the fuck?? it is NOT normal to have to be shitfaced the fuck outta on ket to get through a few hours of work.
also, inevitably, its taking a toll on my physical health, im so sick all the time, i feel like SHIT all the time.
another wonderful ponder thought; i wondered truly if recovering was something i could do, to quit being a pussy and at the very least try but fuck, how does one expect me to live dedicated to medication and just surviving, not living??
wish i could ignore a tab, walk past a bottle without a glimpse, maybe id have a chance then.
im so tired.