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toxicjester

toxicjester

The world’s worst jester
Dec 11, 2023
97
Pardon me if this is something people have talked about in the past, but I wanted to talk about this myself!

Does anyone here plan on having someone with them as they ctb? This could be either phone call/video call or in person. Is there anyone here that wants that but it isn't in their plan/ might not be feasible?

For those who might/will have someone, who is it in your life? Do you plan on just having them there for comfort, to document your ctb, or something else?

For those that don't, do you want someone?

For anyone in general, if you could choose who it is without any consequences or trauma done to the other person who would it be?

(I'll give my own answers in a bit but I'm at work atm so this is as much as I can type since I'm on break lol.)

Edit: Off work!

So to answer these myself, I think it'd be nice to have someone with me, as I hate being alone, but ultimately I don't think I could. I did consider doing a partner thing on here, but I'd have to be close to the person I feel, and there's too many factors n stuff.

I think if it was via phone call or anything like that I'd want them for comfort but I wouldn't mind if everything got documented for reference. I'd want to use CO and I feel like I haven't seen anything about a successful attempt or even a documentation of that stuff like SN has.

I think if I could choose someone I'd want it to be my gf, she's also suicidal but, and maybe it's selfish, I want her to live her life and find happiness. She's one of the few things I have left in this world.
 
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zadyszka

zadyszka

Landmine failure
Feb 15, 2024
22
Me & my boyfriend have been planning to CTB together when the time comes. We want to jump together, hand in hand. Both of us think it's quite the romantic idea to die together with someone.
We're not entirely sure if our plan will work, due to us living in different cities & being quite busy most of the time. I hope we'll find a date that works for both of us though, I'd love for him to be the last person I see before my life comes to an end.
 
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TheHolySword

TheHolySword

empty heart
Nov 22, 2024
449
I want someone with me when I ctb, but it just isn't possible. I don't want to die with a stranger, I wouldn't be comfortable and I wouldn't feel at peace when it's happening. I would be so happy to ctb in the company of someone that I love, feeling their warmth and comfort. I don't think it would be so scary if I were held. The only person I would truly want to be there with me (while it happens, not ctbing with me) is my younger brother. He's the light of my life and I know I would feel safe and I would feel loved as I fall asleep for the final time. But I could never put him through that.
 
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JustSomeWeirdo

JustSomeWeirdo

As the name implies.
Nov 24, 2024
117
Me & my boyfriend have been planning to CTB together when the time comes. We want to jump together, hand in hand. Both of us think it's quite the romantic idea to die together with someone.
We're not entirely sure if our plan will work, due to us living in different cities & being quite busy most of the time. I hope we'll find a date that works for both of us though, I'd love for him to be the last person I see before my life comes to an end.
Here's a little fun fact: since this is a agreement involving 2 or more people about ctb themselves together. This is called a "suicide pact."
 
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toxicjester

toxicjester

The world’s worst jester
Dec 11, 2023
97
Me & my boyfriend have been planning to CTB together when the time comes. We want to jump together, hand in hand. Both of us think it's quite the romantic idea to die together with someone.
We're not entirely sure if our plan will work, due to us living in different cities & being quite busy most of the time. I hope we'll find a date that works for both of us though, I'd love for him to be the last person I see before my life comes to an end.
I think that's really sweet, that you two want to ctb together. I hope you can get the logistics sorted out if that's the plan in the end!
I thought it might be cool to do something with my gf, but I feel like she can still find happiness. Maybe it's my self hatred but I feel like I just drag her down and having her ctb with me would feel like the ultimate way I fucked with her life :,)
I want someone with me when I ctb, but it just isn't possible. I don't want to die with a stranger, I wouldn't be comfortable and I wouldn't feel at peace when it's happening. I would be so happy to ctb in the company of someone that I love, feeling their warmth and comfort. I don't think it would be so scary if I were held. The only person I would truly want to be there with me (while it happens, not ctbing with me) is my younger brother. He's the light of my life and I know I would feel safe and I would feel loved as I fall asleep for the final time. But I could never put him through that.
That's really sweet that he makes you feel safe, but I understand completely that it isn't soemthing logistically possible :(

And yea having a stranger next to you would feel weird I'd think, it's sad cause the feeling of being alone sucks but there's too many factors I feel

I think aside from my gf, someone who's family that I think would be nice to have next to me would be my older sibling. I looked up to them for so long and they still make me feel safe sometimes now, but I couldn't do that to them
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,323
No, I don't trust anybody at all plus I wouldn't want somebody to get arrested because of me
 
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toxicjester

toxicjester

The world’s worst jester
Dec 11, 2023
97
No, I don't trust anybody at all plus I wouldn't want somebody to get arrested because of me
That's a really good point! Aside from it potentially hurting someone emotionally it could also pose legal consequences! And that's something that I'm not sure I really wanna put on anyone
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,131
No, I just want to die in peace far away from others and never suffer ever again, I'm always so tired of suffering in this cruel, futile existence, I'd never wish to exist, I just wish for nothingness where all is finally gone and forgotten for me.
 
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toxicjester

toxicjester

The world’s worst jester
Dec 11, 2023
97
No, I just want to die in peace far away from others and never suffer ever again, I'm always so tired of suffering in this cruel, futile existence, I'd never wish to exist, I just wish for nothingness where all is finally gone and forgotten for me.
I can understand this a lot, although maybe not to the extent that I imagine you feel it. For the longest time I wanted to just be alone, "I'm fine on my own" and that kinda thing. In a way I still feel like that, I tell myself that if I broke up with my gf I couldn't get together with anyone else, it all hurts too much to do again.
I'll probably be alone in my death, and as scary as that is for someone as sensitive as me, I think it's important to acknowledge.

A lot of the time I wish I was never here to begin with, although it's funny now considering what I want in death.

I hope you get the peace you need, whatever that ends up being for you 💜
 
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iDesireDeath

iDesireDeath

Member
Nov 26, 2024
50
I would love to have someone CTB with me, friend (m/f), or stranger (m/f, preferably someone from here). As long as they don't chicken out. If i were to CTB by myself i would hang, but as a pack i would prefer a faster cleaner way out, like injecting neurotoxin or something like that...
 
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S

savory

Student
Nov 25, 2024
120
Yeah, being alone before/during my final moments is tough to come to terms with. But no, having a partner is not something I've considered seriously but have fleetingly fantasized about it. It wouldn't be with a stranger though, and ideally a romantic partner.

If I could have someone I know there with me, without any harmful consequences for them, it'd definitely be my close friend. Legit the one human being I relate with most in this world and I don't feel abnormal around.
 
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toxicjester

toxicjester

The world’s worst jester
Dec 11, 2023
97
I would love to have someone CTB with me, friend (m/f), or stranger (m/f, preferably someone from here). As long as they don't chicken out. If i were to CTB by myself i would hang, but as a pack i would prefer a faster cleaner way out, like injecting neurotoxin or something like that...
That's understandable, it'd be difficult to navigate ctb-inf if you had a whole plan only for the other person to have a change of heart. I think if I were to do it with someone here I'd like to have a little more established relationship wise, but it's different for everyone!
Is wanting something quicker if you're ctb-ing with someone for convenience/logistics?
Yeah, being alone before/during my final moments is tough to come to terms with. But no, having a partner is not something I've considered seriously but have fleetingly fantasized about it. It wouldn't be with a stranger though, and ideally a romantic partner.

If I could have someone I know there with me, without any harmful consequences for them, it'd definitely be my close friend. Legit the one human being I relate with most in this world and I don't feel abnormal around.
The idea of a romantic partner with someone in their final moments will always be something people yearn for and imagine i believe, I know I've had those thoughts before.

Your friend sounds like they're kind tho, I'm glad you have someone like that at least
 
iDesireDeath

iDesireDeath

Member
Nov 26, 2024
50
That's understandable, it'd be difficult to navigate ctb-inf if you had a whole plan only for the other person to have a change of heart. I think if I were to do it with someone here I'd like to have a little more established relationship wise, but it's different for everyone!
Is wanting something quicker if you're ctb-ing with someone for convenience/logistics?

The idea of a romantic partner with someone in their final moments will always be something people yearn for and imagine i believe, I know I've had those thoughts before.

Your friend sounds like they're kind tho, I'm glad you have someone like that at least
convenience
 

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