nomoredolor
Student
- Sep 7, 2024
- 162
Some days I do okay. I am not in too much pain, I am productive and enjoying life's connections, learning and experiences.
Other days I am in so much mental and physical pain. Brain fog and exhaustion. Constant nightmares when I sleep. Every breath feels like a chore and every sigh communicates my wish for death.
I'm just so tired of the struggle. I've wanted to die for nearly 20 years. Shouldn't I just put myself out of my misery? But then I feel like I will certainly not have opportunity for anything to get better. Or to have certain experiences before I die. But staying is consenting to more pain and suffering and uncertainty. Are the few good times worth the many bad? I don't know, that's the question.
The thought of ending my existence is so damn attractive. But other times I think I can stay and fight and just delay offing myself awhile longer.
Anna
Other days I am in so much mental and physical pain. Brain fog and exhaustion. Constant nightmares when I sleep. Every breath feels like a chore and every sigh communicates my wish for death.
I'm just so tired of the struggle. I've wanted to die for nearly 20 years. Shouldn't I just put myself out of my misery? But then I feel like I will certainly not have opportunity for anything to get better. Or to have certain experiences before I die. But staying is consenting to more pain and suffering and uncertainty. Are the few good times worth the many bad? I don't know, that's the question.
The thought of ending my existence is so damn attractive. But other times I think I can stay and fight and just delay offing myself awhile longer.
Anna