
heirofvoid
Member
- Dec 20, 2021
- 72
After a month of being anxious and planning CTB because of companies ghosting me for my interviews, I finally got a job offer last week. I passed all the interviews and signed the J.O on the same day. For a bit, it felt nice because I can be a functioning adult but not gonna lie I'm still so anxious about it. I'll be working as a CSR so I need to talk a lot. I'm a very shy and quiet person so this is out of my comfort zone but this is the only job that I can get with my educational attainment. My family is also okay with this job and this is probably the lowest I could get. If I tried for Service Crew/Barista they'll get mad at me and probably humiliate me.
I'm just so anxious because I haven't been in any class, and competitive setting for years. Obviously there will be training but since I dropped out of college six years ago I just feel like I'll be rusty. I'm so anxious about this going wrong and it's driving me crazy. I'm even anxious about the background check. Yes, they allow HS graduates and college undergraduates but when they asked for a scholastic documents I could only present my old college ID and my last registration card. Most of the stuff listed are TOR, Certified True Copy of Grades, and diploma. They said to present a HS diploma if undergraduate but my HS diploma has a fucking typo because my family never corrected me for 16 years that I actually do not have a middle name. I managed to fix that issue while I was enrolling in college because I was rushing to enroll so they let it be and just told me to fix it after. Which I didn't because of stress back then and I dropped out 6 months after so no reason to have it fixed(also contemplating CTB back then so I really forgot about it). Not sure how much will be the reprint be and I'm just too anxious to go back to my highschool. What if my teachers see me and still recognize me? I don't want them to know that me, a consistent honor student is a fucking college dropout. I also know that some people who work in my highschool knows my family so what if they got heard of it and suddenly tell my family? THIS IS DRIVING ME NUTS LIKE I COULD JUST GO ON ABOUT HOW THINGS WILL TURN OUT WRONG.
I already submitted my college ID and last registration card, and after 2 days they sent me the schedule for the orientation so I'm thinking that was fine? But it just makes me so anxious because what if they still ask for my diploma or grades? What if they suddenly pull me out because I couldn't present my HS documents because of that stupid fucking typo. I need this job because it's a good enough of a facade for my "graduating" status. My family doesn't ask about it now since I got a job so I'm planning to earn first before I tell them the truth.
I thought that after I get a job offer I'll be okay but there's still this dread. I could still feel so much fear and I feel like this would never end.
I'm just so anxious because I haven't been in any class, and competitive setting for years. Obviously there will be training but since I dropped out of college six years ago I just feel like I'll be rusty. I'm so anxious about this going wrong and it's driving me crazy. I'm even anxious about the background check. Yes, they allow HS graduates and college undergraduates but when they asked for a scholastic documents I could only present my old college ID and my last registration card. Most of the stuff listed are TOR, Certified True Copy of Grades, and diploma. They said to present a HS diploma if undergraduate but my HS diploma has a fucking typo because my family never corrected me for 16 years that I actually do not have a middle name. I managed to fix that issue while I was enrolling in college because I was rushing to enroll so they let it be and just told me to fix it after. Which I didn't because of stress back then and I dropped out 6 months after so no reason to have it fixed(also contemplating CTB back then so I really forgot about it). Not sure how much will be the reprint be and I'm just too anxious to go back to my highschool. What if my teachers see me and still recognize me? I don't want them to know that me, a consistent honor student is a fucking college dropout. I also know that some people who work in my highschool knows my family so what if they got heard of it and suddenly tell my family? THIS IS DRIVING ME NUTS LIKE I COULD JUST GO ON ABOUT HOW THINGS WILL TURN OUT WRONG.
I already submitted my college ID and last registration card, and after 2 days they sent me the schedule for the orientation so I'm thinking that was fine? But it just makes me so anxious because what if they still ask for my diploma or grades? What if they suddenly pull me out because I couldn't present my HS documents because of that stupid fucking typo. I need this job because it's a good enough of a facade for my "graduating" status. My family doesn't ask about it now since I got a job so I'm planning to earn first before I tell them the truth.
I thought that after I get a job offer I'll be okay but there's still this dread. I could still feel so much fear and I feel like this would never end.