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Winona [restored]
Member
- Sep 12, 2020
- 30
I decided to try my luck with Pegasos. I'll report on my steps in this thread if you don't mind. Perhaps you could give me some advice along the way. So, here is the beginning of my story. Thanks in advance for reading this.
Recently I decided to catch the bus with the help of N. from A., I've set the date, got my affairs in order, but I've made some stupid mistakes. E.g., I confessed to my family that I'm suicidal, and what was the worst, I quit taking benzos before the scheduled date, which made me incredibly anxious, nervous and unstable, therefore I just didn't manage to do it on a scheduled date.
Now I'm not sure anymore if I can even do this without any powerful trigger. But the decision to leave this world is final, I've done here for sure. I just don't have enough courage to do it on my own. Therefore, the perfect option for me, as for many other members of this board, would be assisted euthanasia.
In one of the 2020 PPeH versions, I found out about Pegasos, who help not only the terminally ill people. I emailed them, asking if I could count on their help, and described my situation. I am a female in my early 30s, I suffer from BPD, OCD, anxiety, depression and a lot of phobias, but this has never been officially diagnosed. Pegasos did not refuse me because of the age, which is already good. As I understand, to be approved by Pegasos I need to have a rather serious diagnosis of mental illness, but at the same time their specialists will evaluate my sanity and ability to make decisions on my own.
They can't guarantee me anything and in order for my candidacy to be considered, I need to send them the most recent medical documents confirming my health condition. In the worst case of being rejected, I will just lose 1500 euros of the deposit. But what is money compared to the chance to leave peacefully and safe?!
I live in Eastern Europe, and as long as there are travel restrictions due to COVID-19, I still can't get to Switzerland at the moment, so I have plenty of time to start gathering medical documents. The problem is that in my country mental health certificates can only be issued by public health facilities, but not by private psychotherapists. Our system of public psychiatric medicine is more like a penitentiary system, in the best traditions of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest", so I absolutely do not want to go to the mental hospital, but I started visiting a psychiatrist at a state neuropsychiatric clinic.
At the first appointment, I told the psychiatrist about most of my symptoms, except for my wish to CTB, of course. So far he has prescribed me Paroxetinum, Quetixol and Hydazepam. Of all these drugs, I've been taking only Hydazepam for a long time, this benzo helps me to cope with anxiety. Quetixol can make me a veg and deprive me of the opportunity to do my job properly, so I'm not gonna even try it, and also I see no point in taking the Paroxetinum (antidepressant), because I don't want to treat depression, I just need a diagnosis.
My next visit to the psychiatrist will take place in a month. What do you think I'd better tell him about the effects of the meds I'm supposed to take? I want to emphasize that I only need the evidence of my illness (but not the improvement of its symptoms).
What do you think, do I have a chance that my candidacy will be approved in Pegasos eventually?
Recently I decided to catch the bus with the help of N. from A., I've set the date, got my affairs in order, but I've made some stupid mistakes. E.g., I confessed to my family that I'm suicidal, and what was the worst, I quit taking benzos before the scheduled date, which made me incredibly anxious, nervous and unstable, therefore I just didn't manage to do it on a scheduled date.
Now I'm not sure anymore if I can even do this without any powerful trigger. But the decision to leave this world is final, I've done here for sure. I just don't have enough courage to do it on my own. Therefore, the perfect option for me, as for many other members of this board, would be assisted euthanasia.
In one of the 2020 PPeH versions, I found out about Pegasos, who help not only the terminally ill people. I emailed them, asking if I could count on their help, and described my situation. I am a female in my early 30s, I suffer from BPD, OCD, anxiety, depression and a lot of phobias, but this has never been officially diagnosed. Pegasos did not refuse me because of the age, which is already good. As I understand, to be approved by Pegasos I need to have a rather serious diagnosis of mental illness, but at the same time their specialists will evaluate my sanity and ability to make decisions on my own.
They can't guarantee me anything and in order for my candidacy to be considered, I need to send them the most recent medical documents confirming my health condition. In the worst case of being rejected, I will just lose 1500 euros of the deposit. But what is money compared to the chance to leave peacefully and safe?!
I live in Eastern Europe, and as long as there are travel restrictions due to COVID-19, I still can't get to Switzerland at the moment, so I have plenty of time to start gathering medical documents. The problem is that in my country mental health certificates can only be issued by public health facilities, but not by private psychotherapists. Our system of public psychiatric medicine is more like a penitentiary system, in the best traditions of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest", so I absolutely do not want to go to the mental hospital, but I started visiting a psychiatrist at a state neuropsychiatric clinic.
At the first appointment, I told the psychiatrist about most of my symptoms, except for my wish to CTB, of course. So far he has prescribed me Paroxetinum, Quetixol and Hydazepam. Of all these drugs, I've been taking only Hydazepam for a long time, this benzo helps me to cope with anxiety. Quetixol can make me a veg and deprive me of the opportunity to do my job properly, so I'm not gonna even try it, and also I see no point in taking the Paroxetinum (antidepressant), because I don't want to treat depression, I just need a diagnosis.
My next visit to the psychiatrist will take place in a month. What do you think I'd better tell him about the effects of the meds I'm supposed to take? I want to emphasize that I only need the evidence of my illness (but not the improvement of its symptoms).
What do you think, do I have a chance that my candidacy will be approved in Pegasos eventually?