Stop Doing This Here

[CannotAnymore]

Please, stop invalidating people on here. Most of us who genuinely want to CTB or have attempted CTB have ONE thing in common. We have ALL had our feelings invalidated! You know NOTHING about the person behind the post. So even if you don't agree with the things they post here or their written 'reason' is not what YOU are going through, it doesn't mean you should invalidate that person.

Many of us come here because we are at our wits end and the last thing that we should see is people saying oh that's a dumb reason to want to die or oh you are 'insert slur here' for wanting to ctb for that reason.

Anyone who has made a real planned attempt at ctb knows it is NOT easy and living with the pain of not wanting to be here is so so so hard.

So to everyone who has felt invalidated, I am sorry, your feelings are valid.

 

[egAbwkOofXrX]

Thank you. I've been getting this a LOT, everyone saying my reasons are stupid. Do they think that helps anybody? I could just as easily say their reasons are stupid, but I don't.

 

[HenryHenriksen_6E]

Thank you for putting this out there. Well said. Reasons to ctb can feel irrational from an outside perspective, however there's so much going on behind the scenes, and there are so many underlying causes, that it's sometimes hard to put everything into words. Therefore it may seem "stupid", because the person is only scratching the surface of their struggles. Approach things, knowing there's nuance and context behind them; do not jump to conclusions.

 

[maniac116]

I'm sorry you've had some bad experiences here.
But this forum is open & what you're speaking of is bound to happen, right or wrong, but I think most people here are kind & mean well.
Again, I'm sorry about your experiences here

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Thank you for this. I feel invalidated because a lot of people here act like it's easy to figure out how to ctb and that, if somebody talks about being trapped in existence, they're somebody who pretends like they want death but they actually want others to die without doing it themselves. I hate this type of sentiment and I'm shocked that it exists even on this site. Why are some people unable to acknowledge that not everybody is able to access a ctb method!?

 

[KillingPain267]

Sometimes I wonder if my reasons are not enough to ctb just because I see others in society go through the same but continue their lives. But then again, I know I feel extreme distress daily due to "my reasons" and I don't see a way out.

 

[Goosechan]

Sometimes I wonder if my reasons are not enough to ctb just because I see others in society go through the same but continue their lives. But then again, I know I feel extreme distress daily due to "my reasons" and I don't see a way out

Everyone has a different load they can carry and on the surface you cannot always tell everything. Like do they have conditions that make the same load a heavier burden? How long have they been carrying that load? Have they been helped out carrying it by their community and environment or not?
They say comparison is the thief of joy, but it's most definitely also a thief of empathy.
Speaking about empathy, since I kinda rushed into preaching my insight first, I also wanted to say I hear you and you must suffer a lot to write a post like this

 

[Ironborn]

Everyone is fighting their own battles, even if you don't agree with their reasons you must respect their right to do so.

 

[nattys5thtoenail]

How so called "pro-choice" forum members look at you when you have problems they don't relate to:
Yall, don't be afraid to curse bitches out. Match them with the same exact energy they're giving you and leave it at that.

We're here to kill ourselves and if someone's reasons don't align with yours have some respect and don't tell them what they should and shouldn't do and mind your wack ass miserable hikki business.

 

[sevennn]

there are some situations that are truly so inescapable i can't help but feel annoyed when i see someone have so much i don't, so much more oppprtunity to get better that i don't and still wanting to ctb. i'm just explaining the logic as to why someone might say the things they say. it genuinely does hurt sometimes. that's why you see people do that. it's just hurt people lashing out. don't pay attention. i doubt they are trying to be mean to anyone as a person. it's mostly about them and their situation

 

[dontwakemeup]

I think like any chat site there are mean and nasty people. I'm assuming people do this in efforts to help that person off the ledge because they believe their particular situation is fixable. In reality everyone has a different load, some common, some not but each are equally hurtful and unbearable to that writer. This is probably the only time I can be totally honest without fear of judgment or someone trying to diagnose me. Words can never be taken back and be mindful of what we say. If you don't agree with the post, simply exit it. It's that easy.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

there are some situations that are truly so inescapable i can't help but feel annoyed when i see someone have so much i don't, so much more oppprtunity to get better that i don't and still wanting to ctb. i'm just explaining the logic as to why someone might say the things they say. it genuinely does hurt sometimes. that's why you see people do that. it's just hurt people lashing out. don't pay attention. i doubt they are trying to be mean to anyone as a person. it's mostly about them and their situation

Yeah, no. There is no excuse for invalidating others' issues. Some people just don't want to live. Nobody is obligated to be thankful for being alive, no matter how nice their life may seem. If it bothers you seeing someone wanting to ctb while having more opportunities than you then just exit the thread and move on. It's not that hard. Putting the onus on the person venting to ignore people going out of their way to invalidate is dumb. Said person shouldn't be making rude posts like that, to begin with.

 

[sevennn]

Yeah, no. There is no excuse for invalidating others' issues. Some people just don't want to live. Nobody is obligated to be thankful for being alive, no matter how nice their life may seem. If it bothers you seeing someone wanting to ctb while having more opportunities than you then just exit the thread and move on. It's not that hard. Putting the onus on the person venting to ignore people going out of their way to invalidate is dumb. Said person shouldn't be making rude posts like that, to begin with.

i'm only explaining the logic behind why people do what they do. i don't need you to lecture me like a child. thanks

have you seen me leave any comments like that. no. this is just an explanation, people (for the most part) don't leave those comments because they are assholes or bullies or terrible people. i'm just trying to offer a non black and white perspective. it's not that simple. personally if i will see a comment like this on my post. i'll probably ignore it. i expect to see them. as it makes sense to me why people leave them sometimes. that's all

 

[Deleted member 8119]

I think it refers to the whole Trump suicide.

The thing is that a lot of people said they don't want to die, and dying was their last resort, or that they were trying to hold into life. But if they don't wanna die if they have the choice, and things may have turned different, well.

Again: only for the people who said in exact words they don't want to die. If you want it's your choice. But idk how much pro-choice was people who truly said didn't want death over something potentially untrue.

I'm always conflicted because yeah, the pain for that to cause you suicidality must be fucking atrocious, but it's based on potentially untrue fears... so it's a blurry line when said people want to die or not.

I guess there are also people who would've attempted anyway, in which case it doesn't affect their choice, it was just more pain to them.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

To me i really don't care what others do in their own life. even people irl who are aquaintances but much less strangers on the internet or what someone types on a screen on the internet.

if others took that attitude them maybe hiring someone to kill me wouldnt' be a crime , suicide booths wouldn't be a crime. these and Nembutal are crimes because people want to control what others do. we all will die anyway. what someone else does whether they want to live a while longer or suicide is none of my business and that i want to kill myself is no one else's business. there isn't even an objective reason why i have to want to live a minute longer. no one can convince me there is . no one can convince me life has an objective meaning. nothing matters . nothing matters to me except me avoiding unbearable pain and my suicide asap

 

[Praestat_Mori]

All our personal reasons that make us suicidal are valid reasons to contemplate suicide to be relieved from personal suffering and pain to be free.

 

[cloudyskye]

I think what we should always keep in mind is that different people will be effected by the same circumstances differently even if they're extreme traumatic circumstances. Or seemingly every day 'no big deal' circumstances. Just because one person isn't effected or doesn't see it as a "big deal" doesn't mean it's not horrendous for someone else.

 

[nattys5thtoenail]

i'm only explaining the logic behind why people do what they do. i don't need you to lecture me like a child. thanks

have you seen me leave any comments like that. no. this is just an explanation, people (for the most part) don't leave those comments because they are assholes or bullies or terrible people. i'm just trying to offer a non black and white perspective. it's not that simple. personally if i will see a comment like this on my post. i'll probably ignore it. i expect to see them. as it makes sense to me why people leave them sometimes. that's all

That user annoys tf out of me, they did something similar to a post I made awhile ago. They can't read.

I think what we should always keep in mind is that different people will be affected by the same circumstances differently even if they're extreme traumatic circumstances. Or seemingly every day 'no big deal' circumstances. Just because one person isn't affected or doesn't see it as a "big deal" doesn't mean it's not horrendous for someone else.

Exactly, to some people getting into a car accident wouldn't be a big deal because they have family members to support them and money to fix it, to others they could probably go into debt for life. Some people have invisible disabilities that look minor to outsiders but internally are hell to deal with.

Also someone mentioned "fixable problems" and they're referring to mental health disorders which require support and mental health treatments which cost money and some people will never be able to afford.

 

[notreallybored]

there are some situations that are truly so inescapable i can't help but feel annoyed when i see someone have so much i don't, so much more oppprtunity to get better that i don't and still wanting to ctb. i'm just explaining the logic as to why someone might say the things they say. it genuinely does hurt sometimes. that's why you see people do that. it's just hurt people lashing out. don't pay attention. i doubt they are trying to be mean to anyone as a person. it's mostly about them and their situation

ב''ה,

It's wild how if you have any resources in USA it's impossible to help anyone else out with them before business sops it up. You have to be a billionaire to even play at supporting someone else's life to any modern standards of living, unless that's a boarding house with 50 people sharing a toilet.

 

[stella68]

A me non importa davvero cosa fanno gli altri nella loro vita, nemmeno le persone che conosco nella vita reale, ma figuriamoci gli sconosciuti su Internet o cosa qualcuno digita su uno schermo su Internet.

se gli altri avessero questo atteggiamento forse assumere qualcuno per uccidermi non sarebbe un crimine, le cabine per il suicidio non sarebbero un crimine. queste e il Nembutal sono crimini perché le persone vogliono controllare cosa fanno gli altri. moriremo tutti comunque. quello che fa qualcun altro, che voglia vivere ancora un po' o suicidarsi, non sono affari miei e che io voglia uccidermi non sono affari di nessun altro. non c'è nemmeno una ragione oggettiva per cui io debba voler vivere un minuto in più. nessuno può convincermi che c'è. nessuno può convincermi che la vita abbia un significato oggettivo. niente importa. niente importa per me tranne che io eviti un dolore insopportabile e il mio suicidio il prima possibile

Condivido in pieno tutto quello che hai detto. mi piacerebbe confrontarmi con te.

 

[dumbnhappy]

Everyone should have the right and freedom to choose. I dont think people who try and white knight actually believe in freedom at all

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Thanks OP. I'm sorry you and anyone else has experienced that here. You deserve better. Remember there's an ignore button for a reason.

I'm here if anyone wants to talk, I promise not to shit on your reasonings. EVER.

 

[tbh2023]

Please, stop invalidating people on here. Most of us who genuinely want to CTB or have attempted CTB have ONE thing in common. We have ALL had our feelings invalidated! You know NOTHING about the person behind the post. So even if you don't agree with the things they post here or their written 'reason' is not what YOU are going through, it doesn't mean you should invalidate that person.

Many of us come here because we are at our wits end and the last thing that we should see is people saying oh that's a dumb reason to want to die or oh you are 'insert slur here' for wanting to ctb for that reason.

Anyone who has made a real planned attempt at ctb knows it is NOT easy and living with the pain of not wanting to be here is so so so hard.

So to everyone who has felt invalidated, I am sorry, your feelings are valid.

Don't get sensitive! In here we have diversity. Not just country, religion, perspectives, but also mental illness. Not everyone dying for the same reason. Keep that in mind and don't take some responds personal. Remember some people with severe mental illness. I personally not here to look for validation. "it's very painful to even be here instead of outing with friends and have an actual life". Sleeping and getting up thinking about suicide is very stressful. Hopefully this " my life" will end soon.

 

[Kalista]

Keep that in mind and don't take some responds personal

except that it is personal. everything in here is personal as we're literally unloading our thoughts and feelings about pain and suffering and wanting to kill ourselves because there are no other places to do so without being taken to a mental hospital involuntarily and ruining the situation further.

the people who love to belittle and dismiss others' reasons to kill themselves are self-righteous 'gatekeepers' who think they absolutely know what a legitimate reason is for killing yourself when they truly don't -- AT ALL.
it all comes down to choice. why? because it's their life, not yours. period.

a person's post is scrutinized word for word by these gatekeepers thinking they've easily figured out who the person is and why their pain is not as bad as they think, when they know nothing about the person beyond that post.

 

[simplyshmee]

I mean no offense by this and I don't participate in the invalidation myself.
But if you are going to post in a public forum you have to be ready and willing to accept the consequences of doing so. Posting things like this does nothing but convince those kinds of people to respond more and in more insensitive ways.
It's just the way the internet is and has always been. It will never change