Stopping Therapy

[scientificmethid]

I seem to feel much worse after therapy, for days after I just re-hash the stuff that's brought up. I've been doing talk therapy for over 18 months now and don't feel any change. How have you guys said you were cancelling future sessions without the therapist reporting you for SI? Thanks for the help.

 

[Life_and_Death]

tell them its not working out, its not for you

im personally surprised why my therapist didnt question it, but i told her i was advised that i should stop going to therapy.

 

[BoulderSoWhat]

Hmmmmm, how do you feel about the therapist that you are seeing? Like do you feel like you click with them, or does it feel like you're talking past each other? It could just be maybe they aren't a good match to meet your needs.

Do you recall having done any goal setting, like S.M.A.R.T goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-based). Do you know if they are more specialized in particular therapies like CBT or DBT, which may or may not be what might be best for your goals?

Or, could it be that the things you rehash, if you're talking about things that are going on that are circumstances you're stuck in, I know therapy can feel almost useless while unable to get away from the roots of what's going on. Like for me, therapy while I was still living with my family did almost nothing, I still had recurrent ideation and went inpatient multiple times. Many years and life changes later, I'm not dependent on my family anymore and have disconnected from them. That has been absolutely crucial for me to at least feel less worse, while I figure out what it means for me to feel "good."

I don't know if any of that helps or not, but I'm hoping the best for you and that more helpful therapy comes your way if it can be something good! :)

 

[ceilng_tile]

Unless you tell your therapist that you're acutely suicidal right now, they shouldn't report you for SI just for stopping therapy. There's a BIG difference between "this isn't working out for me" and "I'm stopping therapy because I've decided to give up and die."

 

[ConfusedClouds]

I seem to feel much worse after therapy, for days after I just re-hash the stuff that's brought up. I've been doing talk therapy for over 18 months now and don't feel any change. How have you guys said you were cancelling future sessions without the therapist reporting you for SI? Thanks for the help.

I relate to this feeling about therapy (I speak to a private therapist online). I have 'quit' a few times now and was always surprised how little pushback (pretty much zero, just reminding me she is always there if I wanna get back in contact). Sure enough, my isolation gets the better of me and I end up sending an impulsive email and go crawling back. Not helped by feeling massively trapped where I struggle with communication so much - wouldn't know where to start with someone else. I tried once but felt even worse where the frustrations of feeling worse but the new therapist not understanding/being familiar with my reactions and freezing etc. I find it a constant confusion. Along with most things.

Sorry, hijacked your thread. Would be interested to hear how you get on and whether you go without or try someone else etc etc

Essentially as long as you follow any agreements/contracts etc regarding notice of cancellation/payment then they can't really stop you. As others said, of course as long as there's no immediate danger/threat with plan and intent in place, then they'd probably have to report.

 

[lacrimosa]

It all depends on the therapist and the level of professionalism they have. If they're in it for money, then they'll just ask you how you feel or worse, enable your destructive behavior. It's the good, the bad, and the ugly. Same with all professionals.

My advice, advocate for yourself as much as possible and state in no uncertain terms what your personal goals are and what your target or goal is for that particular therapy session. Be hard on them, you are paying them afterall. Challenge them and make them help you, even if it's a free therapist or covered by health insurance.

You said the type of therapy was 'talk therapy' and I've been told by psychiatrists and others that this is pretty much useless. I came to the same conclusion.

There are other types of therapy aside from talk therapy, including CBT, etcetera. ChatGPT has a lot of good resources on different types of therapy.

There are alternatives to therapy altogether and a lot of good books out there that can help you heal, if not, they will provide an amusing distraction. If you like to read or listen to audio books, I would recommend anything by Dostoyevsky. He's from a long time ago but his insights into the human psyche are still relevant to this day.

 

[RosebyAnyName]

I recently quit therapy by just saying "I think this isn't working out." If you're worried about therapists reporting you for SI, don't. They really won't have a case against you if you just say you want to leave, even if you don't specify why. If they ask, just say "I don't think this is working out."
If you're anxious about it, just say "I want to try something else / with someone else" instead, even if it's a lie. If you're still interested in therapy, they might even be able to refer you elsewhere.

 

[scientificmethid]

Hmmmmm, how do you feel about the therapist that you are seeing? Like do you feel like you click with them, or does it feel like you're talking past each other? It could just be maybe they aren't a good match to meet your needs.

Do you recall having done any goal setting, like S.M.A.R.T goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-based). Do you know if they are more specialized in particular therapies like CBT or DBT, which may or may not be what might be best for your goals?

Or, could it be that the things you rehash, if you're talking about things that are going on that are circumstances you're stuck in, I know therapy can feel almost useless while unable to get away from the roots of what's going on. Like for me, therapy while I was still living with my family did almost nothing, I still had recurrent ideation and went inpatient multiple times. Many years and life changes later, I'm not dependent on my family anymore and have disconnected from them. That has been absolutely crucial for me to at least feel less worse, while I figure out what it means for me to feel "good."

I don't know if any of that helps or not, but I'm hoping the best for you and that more helpful therapy comes your way if it can be something good! :)

Thanks for the response. We didn't establish any goals. Maybe that's part of the problem.

 

[kyhoti]

As to the OP question, I had weekly appointments, so I planned an activity that overlapped my next scheduled appointmentment. Told my therapist about the calendar conflict but made the next scheduled appointment after that. Then told therapist that I liked the alternating weekly schedule (it actually did work for me). Then, over the holidays, I planned out conflicting events so that it was once a month. It would have been easy to just drop at that point. I stopped for a different reason, but thats another story.

Not for nothing, have you told the therapist that you have problems with living in your head after your sessions? You can write down your concern, also writing down that you would like a solution to your concern. Assuming you'd still like to recover, writing it down and handing them the note can help with any hesitation, or flaking out when trying to bring up the topic. Heck, even mention goal-setting in your note if you'd like. I've written stuff down for many of my sessions, just so I don't get off-track.

When I've done this, my therapist would always be on board with it; he was glad to have a springboard for the session. Hope you find what you need.

 

[scientificmethid]

As to the OP question, I had weekly appointments, so I planned an activity that overlapped my next scheduled appointmentment. Told my therapist about the calendar conflict but made the next scheduled appointment after that. Then told therapist that I liked the alternating weekly schedule (it actually did work for me). Then, over the holidays, I planned out conflicting events so that it was once a month. It would have been easy to just drop at that point. I stopped for a different reason, but thats another story.

Not for nothing, have you told the therapist that you have problems with living in your head after your sessions? You can write down your concern, also writing down that you would like a solution to your concern. Assuming you'd still like to recover, writing it down and handing them the note can help with any hesitation, or flaking out when trying to bring up the topic. Heck, even mention goal-setting in your note if you'd like. I've written stuff down for many of my sessions, just so I don't get off-track.

When I've done this, my therapist would always be on board with it; he was glad to have a springboard for the session. Hope you find what you need.

Great advice thank you very much

 

[-Link-]

Thanks for the response. We didn't establish any goals. Maybe that's part of the problem.

EIGHTEEN MONTHS without having established any goals?

Are you sure this therapist is licensed to practice?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

What's your issue? What causes your MH problems? What do you expect from therapy?

Do you have answers to those questions? If you don't and your therapist hasn't found out then what should be treated? It may even not be the right therapist for you. It's often trial and error until you find the right therapist.

I think you can stop sessions at any time. You're free to choose another therapist or try other treatments or whatever. They won't "imprison" you for that.