A
ArtsyDrawer
Enlightened
- Nov 8, 2018
- 1,448
Some time ago, not very long ago, I've posted a thread asking about making "nutripaste".
I wasn't quite mocked, but my sanity has been questioned. At least it felt like it. Anyways, I was asked why I insist on paste specifically. I am now with even more pills and it appears that wanting the food to be a paste and not a solid was some sort of prophecy: temporarily I need snacks. Sandwiches are preferred.
I have successfully (kind of. Keep reading lol) produced nutripaste. For this very purpose, I've purchased the fanciest and most affordable fancy blender that also is designed to make smoothies - Ninja Blender. You can bet your asses I will use the smoothie function once I'm off of these new pills. These new pills, you see, react very badly to milk.
Compodulator's nutripaste(tm) v1.0 recipe:
Ingredients: two tomatoes - small/reasonable sized (red, hard, ever so slightly underripe), two cucumbers (larger than Compo's hand), one red pepper (large (shitty translation)), "cognac pastrami" (about 3/4 of the pack), mayo (small-ish jar? Mine was 481g)
Process: cut everything except for the mayo into small, but fair pieces for the Ninja Blender to handle, throw into to the Ninja Blender, struggle with the cap thing for about twenty minutes because the goddamn thing is weird to actually "lock", turn it on, select low mode, blend for about 2-3 minutes.
After you get some sort of weird "smoothie", move the result into a bowl, throw the entire jar of mayo into the bowl, mix, serve.
The resulting... substance... was surprisingly not that bad. No need for salt or anything. In fact, it has the perfect amount of salt to satisfy my absurd loving to salt.
Now here we get to the mistake: I did not drain the liquid before introducing mayo into the previous substance. After consulting my father as to how to make this new substance less liquid, he shook his head and said "why don't you just drain liquid using a pasta drainer, dumbass?" (translated from Russian). I went to a neighbor and borrowed his pasta drainer. The man knows it's a goddamn miracle I survived for 30 years so far, so he gave me his. I've drained the liquid out of the current, pre-drained... substance...
About 5/6's of the substance was liquid. I've lost most of the mayonnaise because I didn't think to drain the liquid before adding the mayo. I'm left with about 200-300g of the very delicious product.
For the first time in months, possibly even years, I'm proud of myself to some extent.
So, what's the point of this whole story?
I ask you, dear readers, to think, dig in yourself, and regardless of age or situation at the time, produce something similar, a story of doing something that left you at least slightly proud of the result of your work.
I wasn't quite mocked, but my sanity has been questioned. At least it felt like it. Anyways, I was asked why I insist on paste specifically. I am now with even more pills and it appears that wanting the food to be a paste and not a solid was some sort of prophecy: temporarily I need snacks. Sandwiches are preferred.
I have successfully (kind of. Keep reading lol) produced nutripaste. For this very purpose, I've purchased the fanciest and most affordable fancy blender that also is designed to make smoothies - Ninja Blender. You can bet your asses I will use the smoothie function once I'm off of these new pills. These new pills, you see, react very badly to milk.
Compodulator's nutripaste(tm) v1.0 recipe:
Ingredients: two tomatoes - small/reasonable sized (red, hard, ever so slightly underripe), two cucumbers (larger than Compo's hand), one red pepper (large (shitty translation)), "cognac pastrami" (about 3/4 of the pack), mayo (small-ish jar? Mine was 481g)
Process: cut everything except for the mayo into small, but fair pieces for the Ninja Blender to handle, throw into to the Ninja Blender, struggle with the cap thing for about twenty minutes because the goddamn thing is weird to actually "lock", turn it on, select low mode, blend for about 2-3 minutes.
After you get some sort of weird "smoothie", move the result into a bowl, throw the entire jar of mayo into the bowl, mix, serve.
The resulting... substance... was surprisingly not that bad. No need for salt or anything. In fact, it has the perfect amount of salt to satisfy my absurd loving to salt.
Now here we get to the mistake: I did not drain the liquid before introducing mayo into the previous substance. After consulting my father as to how to make this new substance less liquid, he shook his head and said "why don't you just drain liquid using a pasta drainer, dumbass?" (translated from Russian). I went to a neighbor and borrowed his pasta drainer. The man knows it's a goddamn miracle I survived for 30 years so far, so he gave me his. I've drained the liquid out of the current, pre-drained... substance...
About 5/6's of the substance was liquid. I've lost most of the mayonnaise because I didn't think to drain the liquid before adding the mayo. I'm left with about 200-300g of the very delicious product.
For the first time in months, possibly even years, I'm proud of myself to some extent.
So, what's the point of this whole story?
I ask you, dear readers, to think, dig in yourself, and regardless of age or situation at the time, produce something similar, a story of doing something that left you at least slightly proud of the result of your work.