Venting Stuck between methods

[HereWeGo!]

Hi there!

[Sorry, FYI English isn't my mother tongue so excuse me in advance.]

I think I'm ready to ctb and I need to do it soon. But I'm stuck between which method I am going to use. It's so frustrating. I can see almost every possible method failing.
I'm thinking much about FSH, but I'm afraid some one will find me or that the noose will come undone and turn me into a vegetable.

I've tried partial but SI takes over.

I've also been thinking about jumping but I think the SI will be too big when looking down at the spot. Also there are possibilities to survive if it's not high enough or if I don't land "correctly".
Then I've in mind to at least leave a "decent" body for my family and and friends and not just different pieces swabbed together into a bag.

Anyone else that also been stuck between methods?

 

[zulcywulcy]

Hi there!

[Sorry, FYI English isn't my mother tongue so excuse me in advance.]

I think I'm ready to ctb and I need to do it soon. But I'm stuck between which method I am going to use. It's so frustrating. I can see almost every possible method failing.
I'm thinking much about FSH, but I'm afraid some one will find me or that the noose will come undone and turn me into a vegetable.

I've tried partial but SI takes over.

I've also been thinking about jumping but I think the SI will be too big when looking down at the spot. Also there are possibilities to survive if it's not high enough or if I don't land "correctly".
Then I've in mind to at least leave a "decent" body for my family and and friends and not just different pieces swabbed together into a bag.

Anyone else that also been stuck between methods?

you could try drowning, its guaranteed success if somebody doesnt save you

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

If English isn't your first language, you're less likely to have access to guns...which are gruesome anyway.

Personally, I've been looking at inert gas asphyxiation (exit bag) and charcoal (CO poisoning). These seem pretty high % if you know what you're doing.

 

[HereWeGo!]

you could try drowning, its guaranteed success if somebody doesnt save you

I've actually thought a little about that. But I don't really know why I don't consider this method. I also been wondering why more people in this forum don't consider this method. How come people rather hang them self then doing drowning?
Can it be something with SI? Are there maybe something in our brains makes us preferring hanging instead of drowning because of the "possibility" of failing? What do you think?

But as you say. It would be 100% deadly if attaching weights and jump down. It would be 100 %. I live in a town with much water so it will not be a problem to find that.

 

[NegevChina]

Anyone else that also been stuck between methods?

Sure I'm in the same condition for months. Each time I think I've got it figured out I find out my method might fail badly. I've considered CO, drowning, train, jumping and even a very unpopular CO2 bag. So currently I'm considering inert gas because seems I may have access to it I didn't know of before. My plan B is jumping because if things get really bad for me and I need to CTB right away I have quick access to 9th floor 26 meters.

 

[HereWeGo!]

If English isn't your first language, you're less likely to have access to guns...which are gruesome anyway.

Personally, I've been looking at inert gas asphyxiation (exit bag) and charcoal (CO poisoning). These seem pretty high % if you know what you're doing.

True, I live in Sweden so guns isn't available at all if you aren't a hunter or doing shooting sport. Maybe it's possible to get a gun anyways, but I don't really have that connections. Other wise I would definitely ctb with a gun, it's fast and doesn't really need any preparation besides defeating the SI. The 9mm gun would be something around 90% deadly I think I'll go that way any way. A shotgun is almost 100% but way too brutal concerning leave a "decent" body.

Charcoal would be interesting but I don't have a room for that possible. Too bad the cars of today having catalytic converter. I think that would be my choice otherwise.

 

[avalokitesvara]

I think drowning has got a real fear-factor. Probably all of us have a memory from childhood of getting out of your depth in deep water or getting hit by a big wave in the ocean and feeling like you're going to drown or even actually being close to drowning. Even as an adult I've had experiences while ocean swimming that felt like I might get into trouble, the fear is real. That fear will be in your bodymind somewhere. Hanging is a completely novel thing to our minds. We have no prior experience of what it might be like (unless you've attempted before). Sure you can imagine it, it might make you feel anxious or scared, but it won't be a visceral experience-memory like almost drowning. So you can probably push yourself to set up FSH and take the leap to follow it through more easily than you could with drowning.

 

[HereWeGo!]

Sure I'm in the same condition for months. Each time I think I've got it figured out I find out my method might fail badly. I've considered CO, drowning, train, jumping and even a very unpopular CO2 bag. So currently I'm considering inert gas because seems I may have access to it I didn't know of before. My plan B is jumping because if things get really bad for me and I need to CTB right away I have quick access to 9th floor 26 meters.

Spot on! I've been thinking founding my way several times but then reconsider it again and again.

I actually living at relatively high building and I have the possibility to go up the 9th floor, but that isn't really high enough I think. The possibility of jumping on a pedestrian down below also makes the decision hard. Then of course the risk of people filming it and putting it up on social media is really bad. I also need to be quite quick so people really don't have time to notice me. Anyways this would be my plan B.

I personally wouldn't go for train because I think of the poor train driver that would contribute to end my life and it will also be a really slaughtered body. But I have to say I've been thinking about it because it doesn't need any really preparation besides beating SI. So it would be like a plan C.

 

[Johnzaga23]

you could try drowning, its guaranteed success if somebody doesnt save you

why do ppl suggest drowning? its propably one of the worst methods possible

 

[alivebutnotliving]

I understand the frustration of being between methods. It's a very isolating feeling. Best wishes to you

 

[zulcywulcy]

I've actually thought a little about that. But I don't really know why I don't consider this method. I also been wondering why more people in this forum don't consider this method. How come people rather hang them self then doing drowning?
Can it be something with SI? Are there maybe something in our brains makes us preferring hanging instead of drowning because of the "possibility" of failing? What do you think?

But as you say. It would be 100% deadly if attaching weights and jump down. It would be 100 %. I live in a town with much water so it will not be a problem to find that.

Yeah same i dont see it much on this fourm even though its easily doable and costs nothing . It probably has to do with people not wanting to "suffer" before dying probably. im using this method myself anyway today.

why do ppl suggest drowning? its propably one of the worst methods possible

because its accessible and if your willing to go through the pain then its guaranteed fatality

Yeah same i dont see it much on this fourm even though its easily doable and costs nothing . It probably has to do with people not wanting to "suffer" before dying probably. im using this method myself anyway today.

because its accessible and if your willing to go through the pain then its guaranteed fatality

its also peaceful at the end, a nice way to go

 

[HereWeGo!]

I don't think any method comes without loads of pain. I don't think there are any nice way of feeling that you are about to die. The body and mind will struggle against it even thou you have a good will to die I think.
Even thou we have some witnesses about the feeling during failed attempts, we surely can't understand how it really feels when you are in it.

Yes, hanging CAN be relatively quick and seems to be a bit painless if you are lucky. But you can also be unlucky and hang in the noose for several minutes. I've seen videos of them both. It's very rare to see a video without loads of pain and struggling.

It's kinda weird that we care so much about how it will feel for the last seconds/minutes. Does it really care that much if we will die any way? The ends justify the means, right? So I still think that CTB by drowning would the most reliable method. Way more effective than FSH which can come up with some technical issues. Even thou I see CTB by drowning as a good way in case of fatality, I really can't really understand why I wouldn't go for this method. But I think @avalokitesvara got a pretty good explanation.

Even thou I would like/need to CTB soon. I'm in some strange way sure that something with the try will mess up. I don't know if it's only SI telling me that or if it's the voice of the Lord that's speaking, I can't really tell. Maybe a combination. As a Christian I believe the Lord want all of his childrens to stay on the Earth and it's up to Him to decide when our time is done. Maybe it sound contradictory that I want to CTB when I consider myself as a Christian, but when you're not feeling well. Unfortunately it is what it is...
The risk of failing, the grief of the ones I'll be leaving after and fear of afterlife (probably Hell) is what keeps me on Earth. I'm praying for piece of mind och that He will watch over me, I must not stop trust in Him.

Anyone like me who feels really unconfident if they would be able to success with the CTB try and end up failing?

 

[zulcywulcy]

I don't think any method comes without loads of pain. I don't think there are any nice way of feeling that you are about to die. The body and mind will struggle against it even thou you have a good will to die I think.
Even thou we have some witnesses about the feeling during failed attempts, we surely can't understand how it really feels when you are in it.

Yes, hanging CAN be relatively quick and seems to be a bit painless if you are lucky. But you can also be unlucky and hang in the noose for several minutes. I've seen videos of them both. It's very rare to see a video without loads of pain and struggling.

It's kinda weird that we care so much about how it will feel for the last seconds/minutes. Does it really care that much if we will die any way? The ends justify the means, right? So I still think that CTB by drowning would the most reliable method. Way more effective than FSH which can come up with some technical issues. Even thou I see CTB by drowning as a good way in case of fatality, I really can't really understand why I wouldn't go for this method. But I think @avalokitesvara got a pretty good explanation.

Even thou I would like/need to CTB soon. I'm in some strange way sure that something with the try will mess up. I don't know if it's only SI telling me that or if it's the voice of the Lord that's speaking, I can't really tell. Maybe a combination. As a Christian I believe the Lord want all of his childrens to stay on the Earth and it's up to Him to decide when our time is done. Maybe it sound contradictory that I want to CTB even thou I consider myself as a Christian, but when you're not feeling well. Unfortunately it is what it is...
The risk of failing, the grief of the ones I'll be leaving after and fear of afterlife (probably Hell) is what keeps me on Earth. I'm praying for piece of mind och that He will watch over me, I must not stop trust in Him.

Anyone like me who feels really unconfident if they would be able to success with the CTB try and end up failing?

well said, I hope you find peace in whatever you choose.