Venting Suffering from limerence? and its killing me

[tinyhotot]

Feel free to respond as you please.

I don't know if its because of my mental health or what, but I'm obsessed with my friend. Bad. At first it was fine, but I'm certain he doesn't reciprocate my feelings at all, which is fine, but I'm panicking because my brain both wants to run but also make him stay with me. I'm scared he'll leave, the idea of him leaving makes my heart stop for a second.


Normally I would break contact but i cant. He's supposed to live with me. And he's my closest friend. I don't want to break contact.

I don't know if its reciprocal. I really doubt it is and no, I can't confess.

I think my mind is turning our platonic relationship to something romantic because of the things that are said. If I try to suggest we limit our living time together, its met with genuine (not angry, not aggressive) pushback. I think its feeding into my fear of abandonment. I hate being replaced or forgotten or left behind and he's someone who's finally saying he won't leave me. He also is someone who actually understands me. I'm rarely understood to my entirety, but he gets me. You know?

What am I supposed to do? Wait and see what happens? Maybe I'm overthinking things and this will all be fine, hell it may even work out and I'm panicking for no reason. I don't have anyone I can tell about this. If i needed to talk to anyone it would be him but obviously i cant do that. Has anyone experienced this before??

 

[tinyhotot]

I've decided to just accept my feelings and maybe its not limerece. Unrequited? Maybe. But then why would be bring up us getting rings together? And if its unrequited why act this way!? He is making me INSANE but more importantly acceptance is the key and i am accepting how i feel and we'll just see what happens. Maybe my limerence will turn to obsession and i die. That would be fine and dandy. Maybe it is reciprocated.

 

[bankai]

I'm sure it's not what you want to hear, but you have no control over anyone else. People are pretty fickle. They might leave you over the silliest thing. But they also have the right to do it because it's their life. But I understand your suffering and I'm sorry for that.

The most you can do is let him know and hope that your feelings are reciprocated. I hope it works out.

 

[gottacheckout]

I'm a divorced old man that lives with two cats and a dog, I got nothing for you.

However you sound a lot better tonight than you did Tuesday so that's an improvement.

 

[Withered]

Do not worry about labels. They constrict and hurt. All that matters is that you find in him sanctuary. A very important question to ask yourself is whether these feelings you have arise from him or from that which he offers you.

Best of luck.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sure I do suffer with limerence so, I do feel awful for you. I suppose I'm lucky in that I've never fallen for a best friend or, someone I had to live with. Work with though- yes- so, that was uncomfortable/ unfortunate.

Would you want to be in a relationship with them? It's difficult to judge really. The rings could be significant but then, even very good friends can decide to wear symbolic rings. I suppose the ideal would be to know for sure whether there was the possibility of a relationship but I can understand how that could make the friendship feel odd if there isn't.

I feel like I'm probably similar to you. Same obsessiveness, same fear of abandonment. My 'solution' has become to isolate but, it likely isn't the healthiest thing to do. I'm sorry though. My limerent phases- which lasted a good 13+ years were a very turbulent and unpleasant part of my life.

 

[tinyhotot]

I'm sure it's not what you want to hear, but you have no control over anyone else. People are pretty fickle. They might leave you over the silliest thing. But they also have the right to do it because it's their life. But I understand your suffering and I'm sorry for that.

The most you can do is let him know and hope that your feelings are reciprocated. I hope it works out.

I know, I don't think it'd be wrong if he did, but i know it would hurt. I'm gonna wait a bit longer and see if we do well living together and if we get closer...thanks for your understanding

I'm a divorced old man that lives with two cats and a dog, I got nothing for you.

However you sound a lot better tonight than you did Tuesday so that's an improvement.

Thanks, I'm feeling a bit better for now. I immersed myself in work

I'm sure I do suffer with limerence so, I do feel awful for you. I suppose I'm lucky in that I've never fallen for a best friend or, someone I had to live with. Work with though- yes- so, that was uncomfortable/ unfortunate.

Would you want to be in a relationship with them? It's difficult to judge really. The rings could be significant but then, even very good friends can decide to wear symbolic rings. I suppose the ideal would be to know for sure whether there was the possibility of a relationship but I can understand how that could make the friendship feel odd if there isn't.

I feel like I'm probably similar to you. Same obsessiveness, same fear of abandonment. My 'solution' has become to isolate but, it likely isn't the healthiest thing to do. I'm sorry though. My limerent phases- which lasted a good 13+ years were a very turbulent and unpleasant part of my life.

If we could be together it wouldn't be for some time, neither of us do long distance. I would normally isolate too but i trapped myself this time. We'll see i guess