Venting Suicidal feelings are worse in the morning

[tiredoflife2]

Forced to get up really early today with hardly any sleep. I've got a strong churning sensation in my stomach and I'm shaking with anxiety, dreading the day ahead.

If there was anytine of day that would push me to ctb early it's the morning. Especially Mondays. I can't cope with the sensation of my body being tired and having to face other people, it makes me feel physically sick.

 

[waterbaby100]

Yeah mornings are always worse for me. Thanks it's the extra cortisol when I wake up

 

[sanction]

Can 100% related. Mornings are usually much more suicidal, compared to later in the day lol. Been like that for YEARS

 

[tiredoflife2]

Can 100% related. Mornings are usually much more suicidal, compared to later in the day lol. Been like that for YEARS

I don't know how some people can be early birds, all happy going to a shitty job.

 

[Corvette90]

me also. Morning have always been bad. I'm just now realising the pattern.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand having dread for what lies ahead, it's just so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[Shadows From Hell]

I just started working nights, 10pm to 7am. My worst times for dark thoughts usually happened at night, but now since I'm constantly busy all night, it keeps my thoughts under control.... Until I get home in the mornings.

 

[tiredoflife2]

I just started working nights, 10pm to 7am. My worst times for dark thoughts usually happened at night, but now since I'm constantly busy all night, it keeps my thoughts under control.... Until I get home in the mornings.

Yes maybe working nights isn't so bad, most ass holes are asleep then

 

[askmeifimatree]

I find nights more peaceful in general. Maybe it's just hearing less noise. Or maybe I just hate waking up.


Attempted and thus completed suicides are also higher on Mondays: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2005/aug/26/health.medicineandhealth1 or as a more recent study from Korea: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29349806/

 

[pauly369]

Yes, that horrible feeling in your stomach the moment you wake up.
Your heart begins pounding and you think to yourself " Oh fuck here we go again - another day in hell to contend with ".

 

[tiredoflife2]

Yes, that horrible feeling in your stomach the moment you wake up.
Your heart begins pounding and you think to yourself " Oh fuck here we go again - another day in hell to contend with ".

I find nights more peaceful in general. Maybe it's just hearing less noise. Or maybe I just hate waking up.


Attempted and thus completed suicides are also higher on Mondays: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2005/aug/26/health.medicineandhealth1 or as a more recent study from Korea: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29349806/

The dreaded start to the school and work week.

 

[HighwayToRockBottom]

Yes, that horrible feeling in your stomach the moment you wake up.
Your heart begins pounding and you think to yourself " Oh fuck here we go again - another day in hell to contend with ".

This. Honestly the worst feeling ever

 

[ilvgore]

SOOOOO REAAAL, for me its like this: i wake up and now something bad will happen and these thoughts determine my day and then when something bad happens it enforces this feelinf of not wanting to wake up and being afraid of failing the next day so the fear in the morning is to succeed at nothing and doing nothing if significant meaning:(((

 

[carlbot]

Mornings are the absolute worst for me; I wake up and enjoy that little period of time where your mind is clear, and then it all comes back...

 

[zengiraffe]

It's the exact opposite for me. I feel the most fine in the morning, and get more suicidal as the day progresses, peaking right before I go to bed. Which is funny, because my motivation and energy to do things also decreases as the day progresses so by the time I reach the height of my daily suicidality I'm also too exhausted to do anything about it. Rinse and repeat the next day.

 

[Ligottian]

I don't leap out of bed the moment I wake up. It's often an hour or more before I get up. And we're leaving out "bathroom breaks". At any rate, the time before I get up for the day is usually the worst. I'm currently writing this post at 5:00 PM CDT. It can't hold a "suicidal candle" to the previous time I just mentioned. In most cases, of course.

 

[baberty]

Everyday I either wake myself up screaming, or, on the rare night I haven't woken up with nightmares/abuse flashbacks, it just hits me that I've woken up. AGAIN. Every night I ask God that tonight be the night he takes,me, but no... of course not. Why would He answer my prayers now? I keep hoping, I mean there's a first time for everything, right? Lol.

 

[NoMoreSanity]

I hate having to wake up remember all the truths of reality.

 

[Trismegistus_13]

For me, nights are much worse. I have no idea why. Once 10 PM hits, it's like life becomes 10x harder.

 

[deomlez]

A sentence keeps on turning in my brain : waking up, knowing you are not obliged to live it.
I would like to ctb in the morning, just for that.
But of course, every morning it's "waking up, knowing you will have to live it, making as if it was easy and nobody will see anything".
The evening, when the daylight is decreasing in the worst moment for me, I don't know if it's because of the light or because it makes me feel these bad abuse/ psy violence moments in my past.

 

[tiredoflife2]

A sentence keeps on turning in my brain : waking up, knowing you are not obliged to live it.
I would like to ctb in the morning, just for that.
But of course, every morning it's "waking up, knowing you will have to live it, making as if it was easy and nobody will see anything".
The evening, when the daylight is decreasing in the worst moment for me, I don't know if it's because of the light or because it makes me feel these bad abuse/ psy violence moments in my past.

Yes, I think when it's my time to ctb it will be morning. Sorry you went through past trauma, life and people are cruel

 

[deomlez]

It makes me what I am also. But after years, i cannot stand my emotions anymore.
I will lose a beloved people of my life tomorrow, and it's a new part of my soul who is going away.

 

[deomlez]

He left... until the last moment, we were full of emotions... i wrote him a letter and he answered me a sweet message... since then, i cannot go over my pain.

 

[astonishedturnip]

Yup... Before I was on Lexapro it was a full blown panic attack as soon as I became conscious, even if it was hours before my alarm went off. Medicated, it's much better, but not completely gone.

I only have a few seconds of bliss before all my panic and fear and worries rush back to me. Then I'm just pissed off that I didn't die in my sleep.

 

[SomewhatLoved]

I find for me nights are the worst. In the mornings I'm usually in a rush to get to work, so I don't have much time to be thinking. But at night when I'm more often than not at home alone, I find I feel sad and depressed.