Venting Suicidal from pain caused by an STD

[Cantwaittorest]

Hello I need to know about more methods to leave this earth besides hanging myself because I have tried and its very difficult for me to do. I don't have access to firearms and I want a method that will be quick or atleast painless. I have not felt normal since June 2024. I was hurt very badly by my ex girlfriend when she told me she had slept with someone while we were taking a break from the relationship. The worst part is that she didn't tell me until I asked but we had already had sex by then. I freaked out because I was scared of catching something. Went to the hospital the day after trying to get tested even though it was too soon for any test to be positive so it was pointless.Lo and behold with my luck a month later I test positive for chlamydia. I knew something was wrong when my privates felt really sore and I had nasty dishcharge. That really sucked but I was hopeful that once i treated and cured it I would be able to forget it. I took the medication and retested and I was negative. That should have been the end of this issue but it was only the start.Despite the treatment and a bunch of negative tests my pain continues. Ive gone to hospital atleast 10 times since all this. Gotten many urine and blood tests for every possible infection and none can be found. Had a camera put all the way up to my bladder a couple weeks ago it was one of the most painful experiences I have felt. Doctor said everything looked normal inside so no explanations for the pain. Im so tired of living with this pain everyday nonstop no break from it. I wish this pain was all in my head and it wasn't real I know there is a mind-body connection that cause pain but the amount of pain I feel is so much that I know something is wrong and its not "just in your head".I feel so dirty from this. I can't have sex with someone with this pain because I would feel so guilty if I gave them something. I have this constant pinching pain in my pee hole that wont go away. Ive lost all my self confidence, motivation, my will to live. Its been impossible for me to move on my ex because of this. The pain reminds me of the day I was infected and just alot of painful memories. I want to forget this relationship and move on but I cant because I have constant reminder everyday. I want to feel normal again I want to feel clean again but I don't think that will ever happen.I want to die but I just dont know how to go about it. I dont want it to be painful and I want it to be easy. Please if anyone knows about any good methods let me know. Im so eager to finally be at peace and not have to deal with this pain anymore.

 

[needthebus]

Hello I need to know about more methods to leave this earth besides hanging myself because I have tried and its very difficult for me to do. I don't have access to firearms and I want a method that will be quick or atleast painless. I have not felt normal since June 2024. I was hurt very badly by my ex girlfriend when she told me she had slept with someone while we were taking a break from the relationship. The worst part is that she didn't tell me until I asked but we had already had sex by then. I freaked out because I was scared of catching something. Went to the hospital the day after trying to get tested even though it was too soon for any test to be positive so it was pointless.Lo and behold with my luck a month later I test positive for chlamydia. I knew something was wrong when my privates felt really sore and I had nasty dishcharge. That really sucked but I was hopeful that once i treated and cured it I would be able to forget it. I took the medication and retested and I was negative. That should have been the end of this issue but it was only the start.Despite the treatment and a bunch of negative tests my pain continues. Ive gone to hospital atleast 10 times since all this. Gotten many urine and blood tests for every possible infection and none can be found. Had a camera put all the way up to my bladder a couple weeks ago it was one of the most painful experiences I have felt. Doctor said everything looked normal inside so no explanations for the pain. Im so tired of living with this pain everyday nonstop no break from it. I wish this pain was all in my head and it wasn't real I know there is a mind-body connection that cause pain but the amount of pain I feel is so much that I know something is wrong and its not "just in your head".I feel so dirty from this. I can't have sex with someone with this pain because I would feel so guilty if I gave them something. I have this constant pinching pain in my pee hole that wont go away. Ive lost all my self confidence, motivation, my will to live. Its been impossible for me to move on my ex because of this. The pain reminds me of the day I was infected and just alot of painful memories. I want to forget this relationship and move on but I cant because I have constant reminder everyday. I want to feel normal again I want to feel clean again but I don't think that will ever happen.I want to die but I just dont know how to go about it. I dont want it to be painful and I want it to be easy. Please if anyone knows about any good methods let me know. Im so eager to finally be at peace and not have to deal with this pain anymore.

Have you thought about getting a second opinion from a different doctor?

Have you considered an online pharmacy and getting another stronger course of anti-biotics? If the doctors can't find anything, they won't prescribe more anti-biotics, but if you're going to die over this, why not just get some anti-biotic online and try another course?

Doctors are sometimes very unhelpful because they follow very particular procedures and won't deviate out of fear of being sued or going against regulations. But there are many greedy pharmacies out there that are less careul and if you're just thinking the antibiotics didn't get everything, you could try that.

Also, sometimes when something gets irritated, inflammation causes problems after it happens and that can make things worse even if the original medical problem isn't totally there. You could also ask an online pharmacy about powerful anti-inflammatory.

If all those things failed, have you considered seeing a psychiatrist in case this is, at this point, partly a psychotic reaction to initial STD? (ie, you got an STD, it did get cured, but you are so upset it messed up part of your brain)

I believe you are in pain and this is likely a real medical problem, and probably with more anti-biotics you'd be okay. No one believed people who had lyme disease at first either until they realized it was a real disorder. You probably have some other strange bacteria that wasn't cleared out by the first round of anti-biotics and need something else, but your doctor won't give it to you.

Find an online pharmacy. It's sort of unethical but better than suicide, but make sure to take them all to not accidentally create treatment resistant super-germs.