Story Suicidal realization

[LadyAlastor]

I'm coming to a very harsh realization, that my end is possibly going to come sooner or later because I'm realizing now that one of the things that really pushes me to wanting to commit, is the factor that no one wants to listen to my problems or get s*** off my chest at all and I feel like I have to keep all of my hurt or all of my stress in my emotions to myself because no one wants to deal with my s***.

like I could understand if I was a constant thing with it but the point is I'm not and I can't stand the thought of having friends that want to be there for you but don't want to hear your problems or what you're going through you know in your head it's a very screwed up situation for me and that you know I know about one of these days when I do commit people are going to be like I didn't see it coming or I don't understand why she did it.

then sometimes all it takes to keep someone from wanting to commit is just listening to them and that's all I need them to do is listen and I have no one that will personally listen that are within my friend's group and to be honest I feel so f****** alone that it's unbearable and I f****** hate it I hate it so much.
even my girlfriend doesn't want to deal with my problems I tell her hey have something I need to get off my chest and her response is only "your emotions are your problem I don't care and I don't want to hear it"

 

[Rogue Proxy]

Sounds like that woman isn't a real girlfriend since she admits to not truly caring about you, doesn't want to put any effort into supporting you, and is shifting the blame onto you when you're struggling.

Just by curiosity, do you experience more loneliness when you are in solitude, around your friends, girlfriend, and/or family (if you have any); or equally in both instances?

 

[LadyAlastor]

Sounds like that woman isn't a real girlfriend since she admits to not truly caring about you, doesn't want to put any effort into supporting you, and is shifting the blame onto you when you're struggling.

Just by curiosity, do you experience more loneliness when you are in solitude, around your friends, girlfriend, and/or family (if you have any); or equally in both instances?

honestly I always feel alone even though I'm surrounded by people but I know.

As for her I feel happy but I'm just scared to screw things up with her so I do whatever I can to try to keep my emotions in check regardless of how I'm feeling and I'll find private times alone to cry granted the suicidal urge tingles on my wrists and up my neck it is a hard urge to fight but it's all I got.

 

[SuicideRun]

The black loneliness is hard, it takes your legs and drags you, more and more down where depression is ready to embrace you. I have no advice to give you, I feel your pain in my belly and I understand you, so I am close to you.
Sorry but I use google translate.

 

[LadyAlastor]

The black loneliness is hard, it takes your legs and drags you, more and more down where depression is ready to embrace you. I have no advice to give you, I feel your pain in my belly and I understand you, so I am close to you.
Sorry but I use google translate.

Thank you for understanding me and thank you for being close to me at least you're able to just listen and empathize and sympathize and feel that pain. A lot of the times I just want people to feel the pain I feel so they understand a lot of them don't but I'm glad you do you may be far away but I'm glad you do so I don't have to feel alone doesn't make it any better but at least we can get to it together somehow. If you ever need to message me let me know.

But thank you so much for understanding it means the world to me.

 

[fox_wannabe]

Friends are artificial nowadays, You can dm me to talk if it helps.

 

[LadyAlastor]

Friends are artificial nowadays, You can dm me to talk if it helps.

I'd love that thank you.
And yeah that's very true they are.
That's why it's impossible to find a partner to die with.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

like I could understand if I was a constant thing with it but the point is I'm not and I can't stand the thought of having friends that want to be there for you but don't want to hear your problems or what you're going through

These don't sound like friends.

honestly I always feel alone even though I'm surrounded by people but I know.

You and me both.

 

[SuicideRun]

Thank you for understanding me and thank you for being close to me at least you're able to just listen and empathize and sympathize and feel that pain. A lot of the times I just want people to feel the pain I feel so they understand a lot of them don't but I'm glad you do you may be far away but I'm glad you do so I don't have to feel alone doesn't make it any better but at least we can get to it together somehow. If you ever need to message me let me know.

But thank you so much for understanding it means the world to me.

It makes me happy to have been of help to you in some way. If there are people who can understand you this is the right place. I am in the darkest depression and I don't know if this will improve. I am afraid as and more than you. But I try to take a breath at a time, I sell here when I have time and I feel a little better reading that there are people like me suffer every day, every hour, every minute.

 

[Peel_the_Banana]

even my girlfriend doesn't want to deal with my problems I tell her hey have something I need to get off my chest and her response is only "your emotions are your problem I don't care and I don't want to hear it"

Hi Charatoriel,

I think we talked about your girlfriend before. This was not a piece of information that you mentioned before. Had I known I might have thought differently of your situation. Is it possible that she really doesn't love you and is hence using you as a doormat because she knows your door is always open to her?

Honestly, that response sounds a bit cruel and nasty coming from a person you've known and loved for 10 years. I just don't think it is acceptable in any context.

If you feel just as alone when you are with her vs. when you are without her, then what's the point of the relationship?? I know that last statement is a bit complicated because there are some mental health diagnoses that make one feel as if they are in a perpetual state of loneliness. However feeling alone in addition to feeling unheard is simply not tolerable or even healthy.

You may be at a point where you have to decide whether she contributing to or detracting from your life. Forget whether or not you love her, or she loves you. If your interactions with her are taking more away from you than they are giving to you, then at this point its time for her to go.

As always, I wish the best for you.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are suffering. Loneliness is a painful feeling and I understand that it can be alienating when you have no one that is there to listen to you. People can be so disappointing. I wish you well.