Resource Suicide Addiction Awareness

[Never Free]

There's not a lot support yet for suicide addiction. Though this has helping me a lot so far. Still really tough. Though was at the point where it was getting worse and worse. Not when I feel the urge it's not completely paralyzing. Can do other stuff. Had always had this motivation, and focus deep within me. Felt it for a while. When the sducidal urges took over that was it. It just disappeared. Did spiritual and non main stream psychology/ personality stuff. Self help. Though everything was just gone with the suicidal urges. There was a lot of obstacles along the way. Though slowly it chipped away, any chance of getting out of it. Certain things have gotten better, but the addiction is so strong at this point. Fear of death has all, but eroded. The stuff of this world is just to scary to me. Though that doesn't mean there aren't any reasons I want to live. Am focusing on them, since life feels like an option.

Though this not being as widespread as AA is difficult. I'm interested. I studied Swedenborg, and remember hearing about the beginning of AA from that. Wonder how much of our experience parallels early alcoholics. Though looking at it also inspires me, and gives me hope.

SA is like getting a key to unlock everything that had to get me out it that which was blocked by the urges

"EVERY RIVER HAS A WELLSPRING AT ITS SOURCE. AA IS LIKE THAT TOO. IN THE BEGINNING, THERE WAS A SPRING WHICH POURED OUT OF A CLERGYMAN, DR. SAMUEL SHOEMAKER. WAY BACK IN 1934 HE BEGAN TO TEACH US THE PRINCIPLES AND ATTITUDES THAT AFTERWARD CAME TO FULL FLOWER IN AA'S TWELVE STEPS FOR RECOVERY."

— Bill Wilson, AA Co-Founder

 

[Moonomyth]

God I hope it isn't like AA, the success rate of that program model is atrocious.

 

[Never Free]

God I hope it isn't like AA, the success rate of that program model is atrocious.

I hear you. Though it's what I have, and feel like it can work for me. I'll give it my best. So far this has allowed me finally begin to think I'll get somewhere. Was going nowhere before. Just slowly trying to get Refeeding Syndrome. The quicker method Antifreeze was saved at last moment, and other ones had failed, because done improperly, or just got really sick. Though was learning nutrition. Was enjoying it, but setbacks yet again got in my way. Then my motivation was gone. It just keeps seeming more, and more hopeless I will not be able to get out of this. May be a shot in the dark, but neither are my hopes, my dreams, and goals, but am going forward. There's a lot that can help them come true. Though this is one roadblock that's been persistently tripping me up. Think if I can just get past it. Even if it's not perfect, I believe it may be that missing piece I can use, and finally use other stuff I find good, but can't get me through it.