Discussion Suicide prep/plans i have.

[futurebuscatcher]

I know this crude and stupid but I've been experimenting a bit with hanging myself, making sure I know where the right artery is, if the noose was good (side note it's very fun and satisfying to tie?), ect

I'm going to do a mini test that won't "guarantee" a hanging. This is so I can figure out the best anchor points in my house, if I know the best position, if it will work for me/be my method, soothe my SI just a bit.

My area doesn't have a lot of viable points and I'm stupid so I should make sure I know what I'm doing.

the chances of me hanging myself from these attempts are low, but there is still a chance or death (yipee!) So I will prepare appropriately.

I'll put a timer on the one text/letter I am going to send so that way if I fail and just pass out I can wake up I can hide the evidence again.

I'm also planning on reporting my experience live when I am able to get a rare day out of bed in case it helps anyone. (Hopefully manage this by the end of December/early Jan)

I'm considering cleaning up my place more, its not bad but could be better. It's just very hard to get motivation to do it. I'm thinking at the very least organizing my things into boxes so that way whoever finds me doesn't have to clean up everything themselves + the items could be given away easier and if i fail i have my stuff organized. I'm hoping to deep clean and sanitize the place and wash everything but that's very exhausting and I'm even wondering if it's worth or the people around me deserve it and I'm utter shit at cleaning.

I also want to go off my meds. I mean I'm probably gonna have to avoid the mental health system in general as my last few posts were talking about my breaking point with them. I'd have to get used to being off them since you'd need a prescription and getting them any other way will be hell.

I don't know if I should ease myself off or just go cold turkey?

I'm even debating if I should make multiple notes or just one. atp I'm tired and I don't even know if my friends deserve one

My plan is to just take absolute shit care of myself, sleep less, go off my meds, and keep the noose always available and boxes put (if I manage to). This way I'll be in such a terrible state of mind that when a manic episode hits I'll just be able to kill myself without SI or hesitation.

It will be early next year (maybe February) when I do it. A terrible state + school stress+ family stuff will definitely be enough to push me over the edge with a bit of a failsafe for my school that "believes so strongly in mental health"

Unless I magically get better this is my plan. Thoughts? This too convoluted? I definitely thinks there's some improvement and obvious glaring details I'm missing and I want outside opinions as I think this is decent at best.

Thanks.

 

[LilyLaroux2000]

Actually I think this is a solid plan. Just be careful not to let anyone know what is going on or even hint on it. Orrrr you could joke about it often and let people get used to it but I dont think thats a safe opinion.

For the act intself. If you are getting off the meds and if they are dangerous in as if you took too many they could kill you- maybe eat them all (at least 70) right before you hang youself l. That way if it fails you can relay on the pills finnyshing the job. And the hanging part could get you unconciuss for a bit so that with the pills could kill you. Im not going to go into detail of what you might experience but beware death hurts. But with the unconciuss part that shouldnt be all that much an issue.



I hope you find what you are searching for.

(writting this from a public train btw xd)
(also if youd like to talk more just make a conversation with me! ^^)

 

[futurebuscatcher]

Actually I think this is a solid plan. Just be careful not to let anyone know what is going on or even hint on it. Orrrr you could joke about it often and let people get used to it but I dont think thats a safe opinion.

I have reached out for help with my friends and they didn't take me seriously and all joke about it. I could absolutely joke with them about it and straight up tell them my plans. they joke about killing themsleves all the time but only I'm gonna try.

For the act intself. If you are getting off the meds and if they are dangerous in as if you took too many they could kill you- maybe eat them all (at least 70) right before you hang youself l. That way if it fails you can relay on the pills finnyshing the job. And the hanging part could get you unconciuss for a bit so that with the pills could kill you. Il

I completely forgot how deadly medications could be. Now i gotta look up how much Lamotrigine and wellbutrin can kill to see if it's worth saving. (A whole bottle of pills for a stomachache or headache for example wouldn't be worth it.)

Considering how strong it is though as seizure med tho... well see