Big argument with my wife today and she made me feel even more worthless, comparing me to all the other men because I didn't want to work on a fence precisely when she wanted me to. She yelled at me for a while then told me she couldn't stand to look at me. I felt a little bad with those being her last words to me, but I guess it won't really matter to me. Later she told me she was "this close to ending it all" (meaning our marriage) and I was just thinking if you only knew.
But anyway, I don't want her finding my body, so I went to run an errand and I have the 12 gauge shotgun pistol I purchased last week in my truck loaded. I grabbed it while I was driving and was about to rack it so it would be ready when I stopped, but then I realized I was pointing it towards my torso with my finger in the trigger guard driving 60 mph and it was all quite dangerous and I decided I wasn't quite ready.
Wife:
Most men would be happy to take me out (an plan the dates).
Most men actually enjoy home maintenance, or at least realize that it's a necessity.
And most men understand that if they don't contribute to their household financially, they won't be part of that household very long.
Why is it that I'm expected to do all of the above, PLUS preform sexually for a partner that won't do the bare minimum?
What would you do in my position? What if [Your Daughter's] partner treated her this way?
Me:
I hear you are feeling frustrated and unappreciated. The fence clearly brought up bigger concerns for you. I'm sorry I wasn't quicker to act at a time when I knew you were already stressed out. It wasn't my intention to compound things for you. I'd appreciate if we could have this discussion without comparisons to other people. I will always listen to what you need and do my best to be that for you.
Wife:
How can I not compare? You are literally the only man I've ever known that doesn't prioritize and take pride their home... just look at our neighbors, for instance. This is fucking embarrassing, and insulting that you think I should be ok with this behavior.
Nothing has ever happened around here without me riding your ass, or taking care of it myself. I deserve better.
Im shutting the fuck down. I'm overstimulated and shaking. I need to sleep
(later)
You want to play games and not respond? I guarantee this won't go well for you.
Me:
I'm not playing games
Wife:
Then you just have nothing to say?
Me:
I'm not feeling very good about myself right now. I fixed the fence
Wife:
Thank you
...
For context, I give her $2,500 every month to buy food etc. and I pay all the utilities: electric, phones, water, internet, streaming services which adds up to another $1,000. It seems to me that I'm contributing financially. I offered to take her out Friday night but she wanted to sulk because her new boyfriend ghosted her. The next night she wanted to go to the sex club, and I refuse to pay the entry fee when she is out carousing for other men.
But anyway, I don't want her finding my body, so I went to run an errand and I have the 12 gauge shotgun pistol I purchased last week in my truck loaded. I grabbed it while I was driving and was about to rack it so it would be ready when I stopped, but then I realized I was pointing it towards my torso with my finger in the trigger guard driving 60 mph and it was all quite dangerous and I decided I wasn't quite ready.
Wife:
Most men would be happy to take me out (an plan the dates).
Most men actually enjoy home maintenance, or at least realize that it's a necessity.
And most men understand that if they don't contribute to their household financially, they won't be part of that household very long.
Why is it that I'm expected to do all of the above, PLUS preform sexually for a partner that won't do the bare minimum?
What would you do in my position? What if [Your Daughter's] partner treated her this way?
Me:
I hear you are feeling frustrated and unappreciated. The fence clearly brought up bigger concerns for you. I'm sorry I wasn't quicker to act at a time when I knew you were already stressed out. It wasn't my intention to compound things for you. I'd appreciate if we could have this discussion without comparisons to other people. I will always listen to what you need and do my best to be that for you.
Wife:
How can I not compare? You are literally the only man I've ever known that doesn't prioritize and take pride their home... just look at our neighbors, for instance. This is fucking embarrassing, and insulting that you think I should be ok with this behavior.
Nothing has ever happened around here without me riding your ass, or taking care of it myself. I deserve better.
Im shutting the fuck down. I'm overstimulated and shaking. I need to sleep
(later)
You want to play games and not respond? I guarantee this won't go well for you.
Me:
I'm not playing games
Wife:
Then you just have nothing to say?
Me:
I'm not feeling very good about myself right now. I fixed the fence
Wife:
Thank you
...
For context, I give her $2,500 every month to buy food etc. and I pay all the utilities: electric, phones, water, internet, streaming services which adds up to another $1,000. It seems to me that I'm contributing financially. I offered to take her out Friday night but she wanted to sulk because her new boyfriend ghosted her. The next night she wanted to go to the sex club, and I refuse to pay the entry fee when she is out carousing for other men.
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