Discussion Taking care of pets while depressed and dealing with suicidal ideation

[Hecubaa]

I have two wonderful pets, a cat and a dog, and I'm also in charge of a turtle, and they are the main reason I keep on pushing and staying afloat, but I've been a terrible care-giver to them. It pains me when I realize that my dog hasn't had a proper walk in days or when I realize my cat's litter box is full of poop(I'm thinking of getting one of those self-cleaning litter boxes but they are so expensive and I already have tons of debt). They still give me so much love although I am barely meeting their needs. To those of you who also have pets yet deal with consistent suicidal ideation, ADHD, depression, and BPD -- how do you manage to take care of your pets?

 

[Life_and_Death]

i wish i had an answer but i live with someone that picks up where i fall down for me.

maybe there are some ways you can sort of compromise?
idk the price difference between an auto feeder and self cleaning litter box, but i personally like my feeder (although it was originally purchased because i was out of the house)
and maybe instead of litter you can use another product. i know you can use wood pellets (which i think is typically also cheaper and im probably going to switch back to). but personally what ive been finding best is shredded (news)paper. its not the best for her but its a compromise. its light so not much work. i just throw it out, give it a quick scrub with dish soap and refill it. it seems like more work, but it works while im working on getting better to go back to more proper care, but at least she is getting care.
would disposable ones be cheaper? or would the price add up?

i dont know what kind of place you live in or if you have a veichle or anything, (maybe youll come up with another idea) but what about a long leash and sitting at the door with them? its not a walk, but its some outside time (maybe you already do this considering you said "proper walk")
or maybe theres a park/dog park you can bring them to (maybe at a time theres not many other people)

idk if its much help, but some care is better than no care. and even though externally you dont feel like youre holding up, internally you seem to care about them very much

 

[Chaosire]

I have the cutest little floofball of a golden retriever.
She obviously loves me, and she seems to be doing well. But I often feel so much guilt towards her and feel like she'd be better off in a shelter. When my suicidal ideation peaks, I really need to suppress the urge of delivering her to a shelter. I know it'd be hell for her, but I'm also confident she'll get adopted in no time. Hopefully by a family of functional people.

I force myself to walk her at least twice a day, as I have no garden, not doing that will give me so much guilt and potentially a mess I'll need to live with until I have the energy/motivation to clean it up. But if things get really bad, I ask friends to walk her for me, or to come play with her if I'm unable.
I often think I should drop her off at my parents, where she lived for 3 years while I was in the psychiatric system. But I'll do some horrible things to myself in her absence. She's not trained as a buddy dog, but she's so quick to help stabilise me in a crisis or prevent me from hurting myself/thrashing my place. I've got both BPD and autism.. so she has to deal with my shit like that on a near-daily basis..
Poor little thing..

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

Setting alarms on my phone has helped me, three times per day for feeding, every other day for litterbox. Making a routine is the hard part, once you have that down it just goes automatically. Like I had a phase where I was so hypoactivated that I had bradychardia and so low bp that I had issue standing and I still managed to feed him thrice per day.

 

[Praying 4 a Miracle]

Pets are amazing, and can be so helpful, especially when we are suffering. What's frustrating though, is that societies give pets far more end-of-life rights than humans get. We never force our pets to suffer needlessly, but with humans we are forced to suffer 'till the bitter end.

 

[Mx_Pathetic]

In all seriousness I thought I was the only one. Stupid I know. I can't suggest anything as I have my parents help with my pets (2 cats, 2 reptiles and a dog) I don't walk my dog, maybe 3 days of a month if I'm luckily, sometimes more sometimes less. My dad walks her almost everyday or every other day, if he didn't my guilt would probably be worse. The cats are a family pet so the litter isn't something I do. I struggle remembering to feed my reptiles tho as they don't need to be fed daily (every 2-3 days) Sometimes I stress myself out thinking I haven't fed them for a week. It's also hard because my parents will sometimes feed them and I freak out that I'm going to over feed them. My turtle also doesn't get he's water changed as often as it should be and that's led him with a fungus, originally we had it under control and took him to the vet. However my dad went away for 2-3 weeks and when he came back he pointed out that my turtle had gotten worse. I don't understand how I didn't see it as I literally walk past the turtle tank everyday. I think to myself how he must be in so much pain and discomfort, I feel so guilty that I let him get that bad. I've thought about giving him away to someone who will look after him properly but my parents won't let me, they keep fighting for him. Which honestly I appreciate ALOT! I just wish I was a good mother to my pets, my mental illness's make it so hard for me to do so, I can barley look after myself let alone them. I'm so grateful for my parents.

 

[trashhologram]

I have two cats. I feed them and if I'm very depressed my girlfriend helps me with cleaning the litter boxes. I play with them sometimes but they play together quite a lot so if I don't have the energy to play they won't be bored. They're keeping me alive and I'm doing my best to give them the best possible life

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Same. The last thing I got really enthused about was reptiles. I was amazed--how can you just buy these amazing critters? I ended up with a dozen. Ridiculous. Good news is most of them need hardly any attention.

 

[CatLvr]

My pets are a replacement for what I don't get from people. Therefore, I treat them like my children. And children cannot wait until I "feel like" taking care of them. I will admit some days the only thing I do is make sure everyone is fed and watered and the litter box is clean. The neighbor kids walk the dogs for me every day -- they are SO happy!! All of them! Haha! The dogs get to go in the front and the kids make a little money. And I get a little break from the dogs. It's a decent deal for everyone.

 

[littleraccoon3]

I also have a beautiful dog that I rescued from the street. Walking with him is one of my favorite daily activities because it both distracts me and makes him very happy. Even though I have a life, his whole life is mine and when I have places to go, restaurants and cafes, I remember that they do not have such a chance and I try to make our walks with him pleasant, no matter how much pain I am in.

 

[ZeroM24]

I am glad I never bought any pets. I love animals, but actually touching them or doing anything outside with them is very hard for me because of my autism. I couldn't be a good pet owner.

 

[sos]

i have trouble walking my fish

in all seriousness; isnt there anyone who would be able to assist you while youre recovering (assuming that you are since this is the recovery section)

 

[Hecubaa]

i wish i had an answer but i live with someone that picks up where i fall down for me.

maybe there are some ways you can sort of compromise?
idk the price difference between an auto feeder and self cleaning litter box, but i personally like my feeder (although it was originally purchased because i was out of the house)
and maybe instead of litter you can use another product. i know you can use wood pellets (which i think is typically also cheaper and im probably going to switch back to). but personally what ive been finding best is shredded (news)paper. its not the best for her but its a compromise. its light so not much work. i just throw it out, give it a quick scrub with dish soap and refill it. it seems like more work, but it works while im working on getting better to go back to more proper care, but at least she is getting care.
would disposable ones be cheaper? or would the price add up?

i dont know what kind of place you live in or if you have a veichle or anything, (maybe youll come up with another idea) but what about a long leash and sitting at the door with them? its not a walk, but its some outside time (maybe you already do this considering you said "proper walk")
or maybe theres a park/dog park you can bring them to (maybe at a time theres not many other people)

idk if its much help, but some care is better than no care. and even though externally you dont feel like youre holding up, internally you seem to care about them very much

Thank you so much for your kind words and suggestions. I do have an automatic feeder for my cat and I ended up buying the robot litter box in installments. It really helps and emptying it is easy and only needs to be done once a week. It is starting to get a little gross now after a month so I need to get my shit together and clean it.

Regarding the walks, I don't have a vehicle unfortunately but I do have a decent yard so my dog gets to go in the yard a few times a day. Unfortunately, the only walks he's been getting in the last week or two have been to the bar, which amounts to 30 min in sum both ways which is not nearly enough for him and I feel really guilty about it but leaving the house has been hard :(

I also have a beautiful dog that I rescued from the street. Walking with him is one of my favorite daily activities because it both distracts me and makes him very happy. Even though I have a life, his whole life is mine and when I have places to go, restaurants and cafes, I remember that they do not have such a chance and I try to make our walks with him pleasant, no matter how much pain I am in.

You sound like a wonderful dog owner and I'm glad that walking your dog is enjoyable for you! It used to be for me too but now I struggle with it mainly because it requires basic things like... well... making myself presentable enough to go outside -- brushing teeth, putting okay clothes on, etc. In the past few months I haven't been able to force myself to take care of myself other than right before going to work. Mostly because I'd be royally fucked if I lose my job so it's something I absolutely need to do.

i have trouble walking my fish

in all seriousness; isnt there anyone who would be able to assist you while youre recovering (assuming that you are since this is the recovery section)

Unfortunately, I have burnt all my bridges so there's no one to assist me. I'm all alone with my two floofballs. I oscillate between wanting to recover and wanting to CTB, but they are certainly my main motivation towards the former.

 

[JoysoftheEmptiness]

I'm exactly like you, I have both a cat and dog, and I'm neglecting them, the bad weather isn't helping. They are not just our pets, they are our children, our family, they love us, and of course, we love them, take it a bit at a time. I try to take my dog out at least three times a day, more if I can help it. He loves seeing squirrels and rabbits, we live on the northern edge of a big city, so we got plenty of them around. Try and make reminders using Alexa, that's what my friend did, and it worked.

 

[Hecubaa]

I'm exactly like you, I have both a cat and dog, and I'm neglecting them, the bad weather isn't helping. They are not just our pets, they are our children, our family, they love us, and of course, we love them, take it a bit at a time. I try to take my dog out at least three times a day, more if I can help it. He loves seeing squirrels and rabbits, we live on the northern edge of a big city, so we got plenty of them around. Try and make reminders using Alexa, that's what my friend did, and it worked.

You are right and you sound like a caring pet parent! And thank you for the suggestion. My issue is that I am always super aware that I need to walk my dog, but getting dressed is always so much effort (yeah, I know, sounds stupid, thanks ADHD and depression) and I'm not good at doing or folding my laundry so I never know where to find socks and all to actually get out of the house. Hell, I'm procrastinating on that right now. But he's getting at least a short walk tonight.