Taking Rejection More Gracefully

[Celerity]

My last depressive episode was the culmination of multiple rejections back-to-back. A romantic interest ghosted me. My "best friend" kept flaking on me until I'd declared I'd had enough - after which she ghosted me too. I was fired for the first time through no fault of my own. After moving back to my old job, I failed to obtain a department transfer. They preferred to train someone completely new to the job than deal with me. For months on end my social interactions consisted entirely of customer conversations, (depressing) chats with my mother, and labyrinthian dialogues with my demented grandmother who didn't always remember who I am.

In short, I felt like an utter unlovable loser. I cried and drank a lot. On my best days, I was merely resigned to my fate and managed to distract myself with work or video games.

Now, I have stumbled into yet another rejection. A coworker bothered to reach out to be my friend and appeared genuinely interested in getting to know me. Everything seemed to be going well. Then (predictably perhaps) queue radio silence and avoidance. I guess they found me lacking too. While this did hurt my feelings, I have found myself bouncing back much better. I turned around and found another coworker to hang out with. After this blow to my ego, that step would have taken weeks if I ever found the courage to do it.

I still don't kid myself that I'm the most likable person in the world - I will probably die alone - but I am taking this as a win. Even likable people face rejection all the time and, at least for now, it doesn't hurt as much as it used to.

 

[whatevs]

It's very painful being unable to form stable relationships, I know that very well. In my case it's a mixture of chronic illness and becoming unlikeable because of my antisocial and narcissistic ways (this normally means the rejection takes the form in my mind of being foremost from my end towards them). But it's horribly tragic and lonely all the same.

 

[timf]

Rejection can have a positive side. It can hurt to have someone tell you they don't want to be around you, but the more quickly it happens, the sooner you can meet someone who will reciprocate your interest.