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dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
So Im not even sure if its week 13, althiugh thats what the calendar says.
Im recovered , after a 20 year depression break.
Thanks to the guy who told me to try Dianabol

I will ask my endocrinologist if should I start taking something to prevent gynecomastia, last time he told me "not yet" , I'm a little worried , but he said that.

I'm trying to follow doctor orders at it's best, he know I combine Dianabol pills and shots.
He says its okay, and he's a specialist, he even told me he uses testosterone himself every now and then, because he works 12 hours a day or more, as private consulting and in hospital.

Now, about me, I'm doing great!
I sometimes think about the 20 years I lost , and how much I could've made if i didn't felt bad all those years. But I can't change the past I feel good today and I won't complain. However then inmeet a girl, 10 years younger and she has made so much in her life, she surely looks at me and wonders what the fuck happens, she probably won't like me as much as i do like her , I have ... I try having a good sense of humor (learned to act through all those years being depressed, and I'm actually in good sense of humor just dont talk much, damm)


and I so wonder if i deserve a good girl like that. After drugs, electro therapy or ect, medication, twenty years of depression, do i deserve a brilliant woman? Cause I'm nice , and good looking? Plus steroids and the gym have made me a strong man with a nice body , yeah. Plus yes , I'm good looking, a little above average I must say.... so maybe I got a chance!!! Just maybe , dammm


I need to be more profound , more talkative about other topics rather than depression and overcoming it with steroids, which seems like cheating hahahaha


People ar work see me drink protein shakes once or twice a day, but some have told me to stop using steroids , they sure suspect, cause I've grown a lot hahahaha it's undeniable hahahaha


But fuck it, my intention was to avoid ctb
And I even got strong

Well I must sleep, cause I fo to the gym early in the morning before work


So this post was me asking, do i deserve a good girl? Can i have a girl lien that as a girlfriend or more?


I'm doing alright, thanks and questions are welcomed


Must psychiatrist dont understand how hormones affect our mood. That's a shame.


So i dont knownhoe much longer will i keep shooting myself with testo and dianabol, but I'm positive the doctor will ask me for blood samples, since he said them will tell us when is time to stop, change, decrease, the dosage....

He treats many sex-changed patients, he says Hormones is what he knows best, as he's a specialist .... two thumbs up, plus he knows I avoided ctb with this hahahaha and he's cool about it.
 
B

Berlin76

Wizard
Aug 18, 2019
671
Listen i did it also in the past.
Be careful because when you go off the testosterone you will have relaps.
 
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dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
Listen i did it also in the past.
Be careful because when you go off the testosterone you will have relaps.
Hi, great did you did this with a doctor? With an specialist in hormones? Or you did it by yourself??
 
B

Berlin76

Wizard
Aug 18, 2019
671
Hi, great did you did this with a doctor? With an specialist in hormones? Or you did it by yourself??

I did it myself

Diana for starters and testosterone every week.

How much are you taking?
But happy to read that 20 years of depression is off for now.

But just be careful.
I was off depression and when i stopped the 12 weeks after 18 started feeling shiy again.
 
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I

Intelligent_Lobster

I knew taking this picture would come in handy
Mar 30, 2019
92
I did it myself

Diana for starters and testosterone every week.

How much are you taking?
But happy to read that 20 years of depression is off for now.

But just be careful.
I was off depression and when i stopped the 12 weeks after 18 started feeling shiy again.
I feel like that's the problem with testosterone. It's a hormone, therefore, it's not meant to have a limited use cycle.

I take it myself, but I will be on it for the rest of my life, for other medical reasons. I can't imagine the withdrawal symptoms.

Stay strong, my dude
 
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Berlin76

Wizard
Aug 18, 2019
671
I feel like that's the problem with testosterone. It's a hormone, therefore, it's not meant to have a limited use cycle.

I take it myself, but I will be on it for the rest of my life, for other medical reasons. I can't imagine the withdrawal symptoms.

Stay strong, my dude

Our body has his own testosterone.
As long a persons testikels work fine no problem and no need to add more.
But with gym it used to preform better ofcourse. So that's why the time is limited for using testo.

Last year i tested mine testosterone levels by test at my doctor. I am in the upper level so above average.

But really you get a dip when going off testo its well known in the sports. That dip can be even harder than depression.
 
dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
I did it myself

started feeling shiy again.
Why by yourself and not a doctor?

Started feeling like shit again? Why you stopped?

I take it myself, but I will be on it for the rest of my life, for other medical reasons.
That's what the doctor says, its possible to be on it dir the rest of my life.


Our body has his own testosterone.

That dip can be even harder than depression.
My testosterone levels was 3 when the regular levels are like 9-11.

I have two suicide attempts and N in my fridge, I dont care , I'll do anything to not feel like shit.


There's always opinions and other people advice.
I have N in my fridge and I was willing to drink it before testo and dianabol.

I'm good at the moment , feel good and dont even think about killing myself , nor think about depression.

I go with a hormone specialist, a doctor, who half of his patients are sex-changed people who need to take hormones permanently, and I monitor my testo and kidney levels with blood tests regularly.

There's always the risk of a relapse, of a withdrawal symptom,
I know it,
someone you know it,
but most importantly
my doctor knows about it,
and he says we can diminish the dip, and continue feeling good with other treatment , he's the doctor and the specialist, not a gym instructor nor a blogger.

I'm taking 20mg like 4 or 5 days a week.
Maybe 2 dosis are pills , and 3 I use a syringe.
I've got dianabol in liquid and in pills.

I'm taking 1 injection of testosterone per week
At the moment a short lived testosterone, cipionate, 250mg

I believe we will switch to sustanon, a testo which has a longer lifespan.

I've no longer feel like killing myself.
Although i do think about the 20 years I felt awful, then I'm thankful I'm fine .


About a relapse, I've discussed it with my doctor on every visit, he says not to worry, that if I want and i need it , surely there are medical ways to keep doing it for life.

Personally, I rather use testo and live a good life, than live with depression.

Our body has it's own testosterone? Fuck that...
 
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J

jayfox

Student
Apr 19, 2019
150
Id be careful with dbol as its an oral and can be really harsh on your liver

Couldnt read everything but hope your just taking it for 2-3 weeks until the test injections start working

Also id be ready for any estrogen problems like gyno, with tamoxifen and arimidex

Whatever you do, dont use deca.

Any gains you get will be lost when you stop the testosterone, be ready for that

Low testosterone is a common cause of depression , hope things turn ok for you
 
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B

Berlin76

Wizard
Aug 18, 2019
671
Why by yourself and not a doctor?

Started feeling like shit again? Why you stopped?


That's what the doctor says, its possible to be on it dir the rest of my life.



My testosterone levels was 3 when the regular levels are like 9-11.

I have two suicide attempts and N in my fridge, I dont care , I'll do anything to not feel like shit.


There's always opinions and other people advice.
I have N in my fridge and I was willing to drink it before testo and dianabol.

I'm good at the moment , feel good and dont even think about killing myself , nor think about depression.

I go with a hormone specialist, a doctor, who half of his patients are sex-changed people who need to take hormones permanently, and I monitor my testo and kidney levels with blood tests regularly.

There's always the risk of a relapse, of a withdrawal symptom,
I know it,
someone you know it,
but most importantly
my doctor knows about it,
and he says we can diminish the dip, and continue feeling good with other treatment , he's the doctor and the specialist, not a gym instructor nor a blogger.

I'm taking 20mg like 4 or 5 days a week.
Maybe 2 dosis are pills , and 3 I use a syringe.
I've got dianabol in liquid and in pills.

I'm taking 1 injection of testosterone per week
At the moment a short lived testosterone, cipionate, 250mg

I believe we will switch to sustanon, a testo which has a longer lifespan.

I've no longer feel like killing myself.
Although i do think about the 20 years I felt awful, then I'm thankful I'm fine .


About a relapse, I've discussed it with my doctor on every visit, he says not to worry, that if I want and i need it , surely there are medical ways to keep doing it for life.

Personally, I rather use testo and live a good life, than live with depression.

Our body has it's own testosterone? Fuck that...
K

I understand everything
But you had a condition that your body doesn't make enough testosterone.
Yeah than you can add testosteron to the level your body needs.
So dont end your story wity fuck that because normally it should work and havr normal levels.

I am at the same point multiple suicide attempts and coming month again.

I am happy for you that you found what was causing the depression.

Like i said last year i checked my testosteron levels and i was in the upper level. So i could conclude with my doctor it wasn't low testosteron on 37 years old age.

If it helps you good for you and just keep going with it.

Not all of us can have that chance to go on and fix the depression etc.
 
liverpoolfan

liverpoolfan

Student
Jun 10, 2019
189
What jayfox said. There's really no need to take Dianabol unless you are into competitive bodybuilding/powerlifting etc. Test Ethanate is the easiest and most 'natural' way to raise or maintain your testosterone levels - and you only need to pin once a week. If you take a HRT dose then it's unlikely you'll even need estrogen blockers.

I'd also add, whatever you do don't use Tren.
 
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dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
Thanks guys,
I like the suggestion, however
May I repeat,
I am following an specialist DOCTOR orders,
If my doctor says anything contrary to what I read here, I'd follow the doctors advice.
And Dbol is the main feel good enhancer, maybe more than testo.

I'll keep you guys posted,
Believe me, I dont think this can keep so good forever, but the doctor says he can do it.

Let's see.
I have some DMT from when I was doing a DMT therapy, I don't know if I should have a smoke... that thing is very harsh and deep and really gets into me... yes it is a little profound ... I rather not, not today
 
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