Discussion "That person wasn't themself when they did it."

[NotSalmon]

I once heard somebody say something along the lines of, "Suicide is a tragedy because that person wasn't themself when they did it and you can't ever get that back." I can't quite pinpoint where I got it from, vaguely remember a YouTube comments section, but it has stuck with me ever since I read it. I have so many conflicting thoughts on this, some in agreement, some in disagreement.
What are your thoughts on such an opinion?

 

[LostLily]

Generally most people put in a happy facade to not worry other people. You never know the internal battles that person is battling

 

[bipolar22]

I some instances It is true. Some people CTB during a psychotic episode or drug withdrawal and similar situations where they aren't in a clear state of mind. Now people believe this is ALWAYS the case because mental health "experts" keep stating anyone who doesn't wanna live this beautiful life is out of their mind basically and here are some antipsychotics and a straight jacket they should try.

 

[savory]

It's easier to call someone insane rather than to try to understand them.

 

[ScaredOfMachines]

People just tend to want to write disturbing things off instead of looking into them.
I experienced a suicide in my family when I was younger, and everyone wrote it off as them not being themselves, even though they had attempted multiple times before this. It felt like people were just trying to get over it as quickly as possible.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Like other members have said, I get the reasoning why people say it. They probably don't want to believe the person made that choice rationally because in part, they are choosing to leave them with that grief. Plus, I suppose you can do it while being under the influence of psychosis etc.

Maybe another question is: Would we mind our own (possible) suicides being viewed like that?

Personally, I wouldn't like it. While it might not be pleasant, I want people to acknowledge that I chose to leave this life because I didn't like it, didn't feel I could meanfully change it and, didn't want to participate in it.

All the time that suicide is linked to mental illness- which is what this is effectively saying- the person wasn't in their right mind- there's less likelihood we'll be given access to assisted suicide because we're a bunch of crazies who don't have enough mental capacity to make the decision in the first place. Not that I can realistically see assisted suicide being offered to anyone but those with terminal or treatment resistant illness anyway. Still- I think the parallel between suicide and mental illness is such a stumbling block because it denies us autonomy.

 

[FuneralCry]

For me personally wanting to die really is all I know, not everyone wants to be burdened with this existence and I never would have chose any of this in the first place, death is the relief for me and I see existence itself as the tragedy, I see it as a tragedy to be forced into this cruel, futile existence even know there were never any disadvantages to never suffering at all. In my case I'd always prefer to painlessly die no matter what, all humans will die someday so I'd rather die peacefully on my own terms than die slowly and painfully tortured by old age, existence truly is an abomination to me, I'd prefer peace over being enslaved in this existence of pointless suffering, I find it terrifying how a human can exist for so long with no limit as to how much agony they can feel, I'll always see it as deeply undesirable to exist.

 

[Namelesa]

I would say when other people have applied this statement to me is stupid. I do consider everything I have done, good and bad as well as my mental illnesses and suicidal thoughts to be part of me. The overjoyed and proud, mean and enraged, depressed and empty, self-critical and guilty, loving and caring, anxious and dependent, impulsive and desperate, smart and calculating versions of me are all me so when I am in a more suicidal state I would still say I am myself.