Ozzyno
Lovely loner.
- Oct 10, 2024
- 121
I feel really bad at the moment. I came home from work 5 hours ago and I didn't have the strength to do anything besides scrolling on this site while sitting on my bed and crying.
I am a little bit scared of what will happen with my mind next week when I will be home from work because of Christmas holidays. This summer during holidays I've had the worst two weeks of my life: I've arrived home on a Friday and I literally didn't move from bed except to eat till my birthday which was the next week on Thursday.
I sometimes think about the kind of kid that I was and I can't stop crying because that kid deserved a lot of hugs that never and will never receive. It hurt me so much to not feel loved by anyone.
My whole childhood was humiliation after humiliation from my brother and my dad, they used to shame me for whatever I was doing or loving. My dad was also violent at times. My dad convinced me that my mother was a liar or a fake person so I didn't believe her love during my childhood. My mother then cheated on him so I don't even have a great view of her. My grandparents broke up 3 or 4 years ago. The other grandparents are my only joy, unfortunately they are ill and old, they will die in a few years.
I am a little bit scared of what will happen with my mind next week when I will be home from work because of Christmas holidays. This summer during holidays I've had the worst two weeks of my life: I've arrived home on a Friday and I literally didn't move from bed except to eat till my birthday which was the next week on Thursday.
I sometimes think about the kind of kid that I was and I can't stop crying because that kid deserved a lot of hugs that never and will never receive. It hurt me so much to not feel loved by anyone.
My whole childhood was humiliation after humiliation from my brother and my dad, they used to shame me for whatever I was doing or loving. My dad was also violent at times. My dad convinced me that my mother was a liar or a fake person so I didn't believe her love during my childhood. My mother then cheated on him so I don't even have a great view of her. My grandparents broke up 3 or 4 years ago. The other grandparents are my only joy, unfortunately they are ill and old, they will die in a few years.
