Story The average person doesn’t care

[sorrymyfault]

I just recalled what a friend of mine said about someone they disliked/hated and it really makes you think how much the average person cares about people with mental disorders.

"They must be cyclothymic", my friend said about that person, wanting to make them look bad in my eyes (because of personal disputes that made my friend look bad), I didn't budge but my mistake was responding quickly with "Maybe you are cyclothymic". That response made my friend look at me like I killed their whole family in cold blood. That stare was locked in for a few seconds, they looked like I insulted their whole family tree but more so that stare hurt me deep in my soul.

I don't feel comfortable talking to people about my problems (because of emotional neglect as a child, off topic) especially talking about my mental health and everything regarding that. So my friend who felt offended being called cyclothymic didn't and still doesn't know I have bipolar II disorder that lately gotten very severe.

After a few minutes I asked my friend what they think "cyclothymic" means and they responded with a description of DID. I basically explained what cyclothymic meant and after that my friend didn't speak to me for a week (or so). I still don't know why but to this day they act like this didn't happen.

I hope I made any sense with my ramblings, my point is that the average person doesn't care about us, just a reminder.

 

[ebg]

No one in life will be there to help you, that's what my father says, and I think it's true. I don't put faith in people. There are some people who will help, but the average person no. Everyone is on their own. Even your partner can never be trusted and they can leave you one day and never come back. I also dislike calling people "mentally ill" as a slur, if only they experienced what the other person they're calling that experienced. I also hate the word "crazy", it's just such a stupid word.

 

[witchcraft]

This is probably one of the biggest things I struggle with, the fact that nobody really cares (rare exceptions to prove the rule). As if I am the constant butt of some cosmic joke, when I do find someone who really seems to care, they can't help me anyway.

I can spiral really easily and wonder if goodness even exists. Like, genuine altruism. Or if it's all just an act that some people perform ultimately out of convenience.

And this applies to me, too. I often inconvenience myself for the sake of others, to be considerate and polite, to be helpful, etc.

But when I think about it, I think that I try to do good things because I wish that's how the world responded to me. That's a selfish motive, and not to mention ridiculous when the world simply takes advantage of my kindness in return.

If I am being honest, I don't really feel good when I do a good deed. But maybe that's because virtually everybody is incredibly bad at expressing gratitude.

Not judging either. I am bad about expressing gratitude, and also staying grateful for longer than 30 seconds to 30 minutes.

 

[sorrymyfault]

No one in life will be there to help you, that's what my father says, and I think it's true. I don't put faith in people. There are some people who will help, but the average person no. Everyone is on their own. Even your partner can never be trusted and they can leave you one day and never come back. I also dislike calling people "mentally ill" as a slur, if only they experienced what the other person they're calling that experienced. I also hate the word "crazy", it's just such a stupid word.

Definitely, the thing is that nobody cares about the person next to them and I've been guilty of this before, but putting suffering people in your own bubble because you like being ignorant is not an excuse, all those terms don't help either, it only helps Mr. Joe and his friends to objectify your problems because they feel like it

This is probably one of the biggest things I struggle with, the fact that nobody really cares (rare exceptions to prove the rule). As if I am the constant butt of some cosmic joke, when I do find someone who really seems to care, they can't help me anyway.

I can spiral really easily and wonder if goodness even exists. Like, genuine altruism. Or if it's all just an act that some people perform ultimately out of convenience.

And this applies to me, too. I often inconvenience myself for the sake of others, to be considerate and polite, to be helpful, etc.

But when I think about it, I think that I try to do good things because I wish that's how the world responded to me. That's a selfish motive, and not to mention ridiculous when the world simply takes advantage of my kindness in return.

If I am being honest, I don't really feel good when I do a good deed. But maybe that's because virtually everybody is incredibly bad at expressing gratitude.

Not judging either. I am bad about expressing gratitude, and also staying grateful for longer than 30 seconds to 30 minutes.

I think your comment really speaks to me because that's how I feel and felt pretty much my whole life but strayed into something terrible. Being helpful is difficult when whenever you try to help it ends up with the opposite of your desired outcome, but also it's selfish expecting a reward for any task you might do. It's also hard having the following belief stuck in your head since forever: "serve the ones who served you", sure it might help staying independent but when you expect a knife stab every time you do a selfless act you end up not doing it, especially when you've seen how your own friends have treated you. That's where I'm at now and it's destroying me from the inside out. I try to mask it with anything I can and try to help myself and others but that idea doesn't let go. I try being considerate of the person next to me but there always going to be those people who refer to me an an asshole and it backflips my whole mentality again, it's hard trying to stay out of my self-destructive behavior but that behavior came with many failed interactions with others. It's just difficult having to navigate that path knowing that sometime you might get stabbed in the back again, being ridiculed by the people you trusted. Basically it is like walking in a mine field, you might get blown to pieces any second so you end up running to get out, it's not the greatest idea but the one that feels correct at the moment. Life is confusing and I'm not making it any clearer

Sorry for making these 2 responses into one, didn't mean to do that