-nobodyknows-
Mage
- Jun 16, 2024
- 504
I believe it will soon be time for me to do or die.
To put it simply, I think things are getting into their final stages. The end feels so close… but the end of what? Will I finally find some reason to keep going? Or will I finally be forced to take a look at where I am, and say "enough is enough".
I tried to do a lot this past year to improve my situation. Unfortunately, they did not really help. I don't think I can do that a second time around. I am just so burned out. Trying so hard, and having nothing to show for it, is so painful.
I can tell that I am slipping. Mornings are harder and harder. I do not want to deal with things. Right now I can force myself up, but doing so is pushing me to the brink. I am so exhausted every day.
As I walk towards this cliff, I look back at my life, and I am so disappointed. I don't understand how I got like this. I don't know why I was never able to make friends or have relationships. I try to understand the reasons why people have decided to stay away from me, but it is hard because I don't think I would have acted in the same way. Maybe I am just too messed up to be able to think like a normal person anymore.
The cold autumn air has arrived. It reminds me of how I have accomplished nothing, as it clutches me in its cold embrace. It greets me with a demanding "Why are you still here?" This year, once again, I do not have an answer. I hope I have one next year, because if I do not, I will not be able to face this cold air again. Even now, I can hardly stand the way it grips me. It reminds me too much of death.
To put it simply, I think things are getting into their final stages. The end feels so close… but the end of what? Will I finally find some reason to keep going? Or will I finally be forced to take a look at where I am, and say "enough is enough".
I tried to do a lot this past year to improve my situation. Unfortunately, they did not really help. I don't think I can do that a second time around. I am just so burned out. Trying so hard, and having nothing to show for it, is so painful.
I can tell that I am slipping. Mornings are harder and harder. I do not want to deal with things. Right now I can force myself up, but doing so is pushing me to the brink. I am so exhausted every day.
As I walk towards this cliff, I look back at my life, and I am so disappointed. I don't understand how I got like this. I don't know why I was never able to make friends or have relationships. I try to understand the reasons why people have decided to stay away from me, but it is hard because I don't think I would have acted in the same way. Maybe I am just too messed up to be able to think like a normal person anymore.
The cold autumn air has arrived. It reminds me of how I have accomplished nothing, as it clutches me in its cold embrace. It greets me with a demanding "Why are you still here?" This year, once again, I do not have an answer. I hope I have one next year, because if I do not, I will not be able to face this cold air again. Even now, I can hardly stand the way it grips me. It reminds me too much of death.
