the concept of being a “failure”

[nembutal]

you are born for the sole purpose of creating profit for someone you will never meet. why is this something that cannot be easily argued? why are we not born to live, to experience and thrive?

if my life were ideal i would not be restricted by a higher force. i would choose my own purpose in life outside of participating in the cycle of mass production and consumption and spend my days meeting new people and constantly seeking out new experiences.

i used to deem myself a failure until i acknowledged our biological purpose to survive and breed. if we were meant to toil we would be born with extra limbs and a lack of stress hormones for ultimate efficiency. therefore, why should we consider ourselves failures if we haven't achieved what is necessary to be seen as successful, if those milestones directly contradict our innate purpose? although our existence is a miraculous phenomenon in of itself, society does not deem you successful for merely existing. we are only praised when we grudgingly tread through the path of exploitive conformity that has been set for us since the day we were born.

so why should you consider yourself a failure? due to society's burdening and unrealistic expectations? why shouldn't you feel achieved by the mere fact that you won the galactic lottery to experience life and the beauty that can come with it? we are meant to feel like our "failures" stem from personal deficiencies, when in fact they stem from our natural rejection to have our freedom stripped away from us. if more people veered off our government appointed path and into the fields of nonconformity, the mindset that we are BEING failed would be more prevalent.

i have criticized myself endlessly for turning to an "embarrassing" line of work when i realized i would break under the standard 9-5 regime. funny how i earn x20 the minimum wage as soon as i chose my own destiny. i have self harmed over dropping out of college. i have been embarrassed over my period of NEETism.

as soon as i realized that i am meant to feel this way in order to pressure myself into benefiting the fat cats, some of my self hatred eased. now, rather than self loathing i feel a bristling anger for being taught to hate myself throughout my developmental years.

i am not the best at summarizing my logic concisely but i hope it is understandable and others can share their thoughts towards what i am trying to get at.

 

[GuessWhosBack]

Hello, I'll try to go over your thread and argue with your points since that's what you've asked for.

you are born for the sole purpose of creating profit for someone you will never meet. why is this something that cannot be easily argued?

For most people, work is indeed a means for survival. A few people are lucky in the sense that they work a job they love, and as a result, do not feel as stressed out or hopeless.

why are we not born to live, to experience and thrive?

We are born to do all that, but that is something personal that everyone needs to define and seek out for themselves. You should ask what "living" (and not simply existing) means for you.

if my life were ideal i would not be restricted by a higher force. i would choose my own purpose in life outside of participating in the cycle of mass production and consumption and spend my days meeting new people and constantly seeking out new experiences.

While I agree that most of us are restricted, a lot of people utilise their free time to do the things you're mentioning. For them this is a lifeline - without it they will surely get depressed and wither.

i used to deem myself a failure until i acknowledged our biological purpose to survive and breed

But we're so much more than just breeding machines. What about life before and after? What about the people that cannot reproduce? Why are they mostly happy?

we are only praised when we grudgingly tread through the path of exploitive conformity that has been set for us since the day we were born.

Praised by who? No matter what you do in life there's always going to be a group of people who disapprove of your actions or dislike you for your mere existence. Carving your own path through life can be something to admire. Truth is no one enjoys slaving away 9 hours a day, not including the one or two hours stuck in traffic, the one hour spent getting ready to go to work every morning, and so on. In today's world it is even more crucial that you do something you LOVE for work.

so why should you consider yourself a failure?

Assuming this is not rhetorical, I personally don't.

why shouldn't you feel achieved by the mere fact that you won the galactic lottery to experience life and the beauty that can come with it?

That's an interesting way of putting things. By your own admission, simply being "lucky" enough to be here is a net positive. So I might ask you to introspect and figure out what is holding you back from doing the small things you love today. Once your daily slavery is over, what do you end up doing to feel better?

i have criticized myself endlessly for turning to an "embarrassing" line of work when i realized i would break under the standard 9-5 regime. funny how i earn x20 the minimum wage as soon as i chose my own destiny. i have self harmed over dropping out of college. i have been embarrassed over my period of NEETism.

Is it more, or less embarrassing to live an empty life? If your line of work is "embarrassing" as you say, but it allows you to enjoy life to its fullest, wouldn't you rather do that? College is not for everyone, that's ok. If you dream of going back to college, however, you are still in time. Not everyone has to go through life in a straight line where they graduate by 21, marry by 26, etc etc.

If you earn as much as you say, you could consider investing your money in stable, guaranteed returns and just chill after a while. I remember seeing your threads about drug addiction - you can get that sorted if you want to, and live a life of freedom once you're financially secure.

Earning 20x the minimum wage opens a lot of options for you to drastically improve your QoL, assuming you can manage to do that line of work for long enough.

as soon as i realized that i am meant to feel this way in order to pressure myself into benefiting the fat cats, some of my self hatred eased. now, rather than self loathing i feel a bristling anger for being taught to hate myself throughout my developmental years.

:)

i am not the best at summarizing my logic concisely but i hope it is understandable and others can share their thoughts towards what i am trying to get at.

It is perfectly understandable and your feelings are common amongst many, dw.

 

[Manfrotto99]

I understand and feel a similar way. I believe it is often the system that has covertly failed us and let us down as a form of control and manipulation. We have been taught to take the blame and believe we are the failures ourselves if we dont live up our societys expectations, whatever that may be. But is the really the case? I think society has to make failures out of us in order to make successes and give more power to others. Its just how the hierachy we live in works. This realisation helped stop me taking the blame and loathing myself so much and to be less judging of others.

 

[uglyugly]

I have always been a failure and in the eyes of society, I always will be. It used to really depress me. Now I don't give a damn because the concept of failure, like I think I'm hearing you say, is created by someone else.

I was raised in the 70s/80s and to not be a "failure", my life had to look like this: have a great time in high school, go to a good college, get a good, high paying job, make lots of money, marry a "good" man, buy a home, pop a few brats out of me, raise them, go to PTA meetings, volunteer in the community, and eventually retire. I'm a failure at every last one of those except home ownership. But that's someone else's definition of what success or failure looks like.

My definition of success is I am content with the life I'm leading. Ironically, I'm failing at that, too, but am working on trying to turn my life around. As of today, I am failing at that. Well, at least I tried.

I appreciate your post.

 

[Warlord's Pulse]

Are you really earning 20x the minimum wage? Since when? It is a more or less consistent outcome?
Actually, I imagine what you're doing if thats the case, but it's better to not be too direct here
But I see you constantly saying that you are NEETing and can't get away from your parents' home, that's why I'm confused now