Gray Wounds
A Phantasmagoria
- Jun 27, 2018
- 575
As I've said on my story, I first drank 600 mg of Benadril (mg and not g, my mistake last night) on the first night then another 600 mg on the morning after.
My mind frequently blacks out, though my body remains conscious and seems to be perfectly fine (taken from those who have witnessed such events). And then I will be called back to time only to see that I've lost a massive amount of it as I stay frozen in one place and position.
Hallucinations too often come to me which causes great distress upon those who are with me in those moments. I sometimes will see a car coming toward me as I cross the road and I will hastily run to the other side, saving the human being with me at that moment, then I will be asked "why? there's no vehicle around!". But the worst part is when I cannot see nor hear the coming vehicle itself, seeing the road as a clear spectacle for me to cross, only to be shocked by either the screeching sound of the passing vehicle or by the shouting of an angry driver.
There are frequent times too where my heart will just pump really fast and hard on my chest without a reasonable cause, and it will last for minutes. This one is quite painful and disturbing for most humans who have witnessed it as I clutch both on my chest and on my head (because when my heart suffers that way, my brain also suffers the same and it hurts real bad in a fucked up way).
I hadn't got myself admitted to any hospital and no one but the person who calls herself my "friend" knows about it. After those two main overdoses, I drank again more Benadril but in a limited quantity, like 4 to 6 pills only to alleviate my insomnia and to shut the voices up. But I guess that only added meaning to its effects on me.
My mind frequently blacks out, though my body remains conscious and seems to be perfectly fine (taken from those who have witnessed such events). And then I will be called back to time only to see that I've lost a massive amount of it as I stay frozen in one place and position.
Hallucinations too often come to me which causes great distress upon those who are with me in those moments. I sometimes will see a car coming toward me as I cross the road and I will hastily run to the other side, saving the human being with me at that moment, then I will be asked "why? there's no vehicle around!". But the worst part is when I cannot see nor hear the coming vehicle itself, seeing the road as a clear spectacle for me to cross, only to be shocked by either the screeching sound of the passing vehicle or by the shouting of an angry driver.
There are frequent times too where my heart will just pump really fast and hard on my chest without a reasonable cause, and it will last for minutes. This one is quite painful and disturbing for most humans who have witnessed it as I clutch both on my chest and on my head (because when my heart suffers that way, my brain also suffers the same and it hurts real bad in a fucked up way).
I hadn't got myself admitted to any hospital and no one but the person who calls herself my "friend" knows about it. After those two main overdoses, I drank again more Benadril but in a limited quantity, like 4 to 6 pills only to alleviate my insomnia and to shut the voices up. But I guess that only added meaning to its effects on me.