The feeling of being completely alone

[gnarly]

I feel like loneliness affects a good portion of people in SaSu. The feeling of being alone is so gut wrenching. Usually whenever I realize I'm alone I feel my soul sink. It sinks with no end. Seeing others happy or in love tends to make that feeling even greater. Loneliness is(at least to me) both a gift and a curse. For the gift is you are completely isolated from others. For how terrible people can be. I see that as a positive. But the curse is that feeling. That feeling of sinking. Endlessly. As your eyes drift. Your face loosens. And your soul falls into an infinite void. That void. I wish it never existed. I feel it every day.

 

[dOm!n!K]

I felt like my loneliness was a gift from life for a long time of my life. I had time for myself, my life was nothing more than sitting over books and just studying day and night. It was peaceful because it was the only thing I knew at the time. It changed after I met my ex (first and last boyfriend), after getting a taste of how it feels to have someone, to no longer be lonely now it feels like curse, like there's something empty inside of me that I won't ever be able to fill. That no one would ever be able to fill. I wish I could find peace in my solitude again, it was something positive before. This feeling surely is the part that makes loneliness a curse.

 

[Overwhelmed52]

I'm not just alone, I've been actively rejected by people I wish were my friends or that I need to have a connection with. Part of it is my fault-- I would burn bridges if I thought people weren't treating me well, when I probably should have accepted that I'm not the kind of person who gets treated well. I'm just someone who's "also there." I have social anxiety so I'll never be a social butterfly but I would love to have a close-knit group of friends to be part of, but that's just not going to happen for me. I did reconnect with someone recently, which has helped, but they live far away and have other things going on, so I am mostly lonely. It is tough.

 

[Electra]

"and when nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, and when you can do whatever you want. what do you call it, freedom or loneliness?"
- one of my favorite quotes.