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SoulWhisperer

SoulWhisperer

Severe Medical Phobia « MtF »
Nov 13, 2023
475
Everyone here as pretty much heard the sentence: "it gets better", but. My real question is: Who said it does? Who said that the opposite wouldn't happen?

Why do people so blindly believe that if someone is suffering it's because "it'll get better", it doesn't matter why or how or when or because of what, they just say it. But one could even just say "it'll keep getting worse" and require still no backup for it and be on the same level.

I don't believe that things will magically nor automatically get better. And let me clarify: I'm not saying that it can't get better, I'm saying that it's unrealistic to say it WILL get better as some sort of certainty. (Of course there's few cases like chronic illness or extreme situations that just are very unrecoverable objectively) But the real thing should be "things can/could get better" NOT "things WILL get better".

I don't wanna sound ultra pessimistic but really: just because something CAN happen, it doesn't mean it will.

And to conclude. I'm not even sure that fighting against my thousand problems would be worth it. Because I don't effing know if I'll be strong enough to overcome them. And the fear of fighting against everything while suffering a lot just to end up being in a worst spot in the future is destroying me.

No one can grant me I'll succeed and I'm taking a fucking leap of faith by living right now. Thank you for listening this far. 🙏
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
11,304
Sadly, I think a lot of people use this phrase to close the conversation down. Maybe because they don't actually know how to solve the problem you've put before them. Really though- how can we respond to that? Either disagreeing with them- which we probably won't or, saying thanks.

My Dad actually once promised me things would get better. That felt even worse- more ridiculous! Followed by- 'Have I ever been wrong?' Well- yeah, of course! We've all been wrong at some point!

I whole heartedly agree though. It's a lazy, low effort phrase implying also that we can sit back and be lazy while everything magically gets better! 🌈🌈🌈

I totally agree that it's much more realistic/ helpful to say things like: 'Things can change if you put in the effort to change them. What is it you really want in life? How do you think you could make that a reality? What's holding you back?' But- that's maybe more effort/ interest in us than they want to expend!

They may also be frightened that some problems are very difficult to solve and they probably don't want to acknowledge that. Maybe not even about their own problems and lives. Isn't it sometimes nicer to hope that- if we just put the effort in and stay on course, everything will work out ok in the end? That 'everything is for a reason', yadda, yadda, yadda. I even try to use that one on me sometimes! Maybe this utterly dreadful thing that's just happened will result in something better. I think it's how we fool ourselves into keeping going.
 
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