In the last year I have lost so much I just don't know what I'm doing. So the first loss was my dog ( now I know some people say it's only a dog) but to me he wasn't. He helped me so much throughout the depressive mood I was in he was always at my side giving me a reason to live. Then a year ago I had to make the hardest decision in my life to put him to sleep. 12 years gone in a blink of an eye. Over the next few months I struggled I was drinking heavily every day and I tried to CTB which obviously didn't work. I actually think the amount I drank before hand kept me alive for some reason. Roll on the next couple of months my mom goes into hospital with a asthma attack during the day the doctors had to put her in a coma as she couldn't breathe. During the following couple of days they find out what is wrong and bring her out of the coma to tell her she has terminal cancer and just like that 11 weeks later she dies. Little things keep giving me some hope to carry on living but I know deep down I won't be around next year. Life keeps knocking me down and I'm fed up with fighting I'm riddled with arthritis I've had some many operations I just don't want any more. I just want to sleep and never wake up some days other days I can get through then at night lying in bed I remember what I've lost and how much it's drained me. Anyway sorry about the long post but that's the reason why I'm here I suppose.
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I can relate.
The last 3 years have been hell for me.
Let's say I've really experienced the so-called "30s crisis".
The last 3 years have been hell for me.
Let's say I've really experienced the so-called "30s crisis".
I have been happy for 32 years. I have been at the bottom of the last half a year. Now life offers me to be somewhere in between. Do you know? I do not want.
SofieSofie
Member
- Mar 12, 2021
- 20
Reminds me of one of my favourite songs: Feelin' Blue, by CCR.
At 2:30: 'Things are pilin' up to break me down'. And there's more in it that applies to us, or to me at least.
Interested?
Not a happy song but very intense.
At 2:30: 'Things are pilin' up to break me down'. And there's more in it that applies to us, or to me at least.
Interested?
Not a happy song but very intense.
