I was a small moth, beginning to live without a name.
I was one of those nocturnal creatures that fluttered through the air, searching for a thin thread between existence and survival. I had no great wings to flee swiftly, nor weapons to defend myself. Only a fragile body, exposed to a universe of dangers.
I had no defenses against the terrifying flying creatures, eager to open their jaws and draw me into the dark corridor beyond their toothed cavern, or against those with many eyes, swift as lightning, slow as those who know they need not hurry, who waited for some unwary traveler to become trapped in their sticky dwelling, ready to sink their blades into the path where my vital nectar flows, draining it while I remained conscious of what was happening.
Perhaps it was the same ancestor among ancestors who bestowed these gifts, and ours was absent. No weapons, no defenses. Food for them, food for their descendants, so that they too might become ancestors of someone.
In appearance, I did not even remotely resemble my cousin, the butterfly, with her splendid wings, not to mention my flight, never so harmonious, for I fluttered in the void without apparent meaning.
I was not special, and I was easy prey for monstrous creatures, bigger and stronger than me, from whom I could not escape.
Only prey, and never predator.
Among humans, many fled from me as if I could cause them pain, but I knew that behind that flight was hidden only annoyance or disgust.
Not only living creatures were my enemies, but also the creatures of humans, like the small suns that, under their command, emanated light and heat.
They existed in various colors and sizes, but all of us moths knew that many of them, among the most beautiful, could take our lives in a few moments.
It was stronger than us; we could not resist the light.
And yet, we were born and we died...
We did not question the purpose of our existence and why we came into the world.
Some might say that we served as food for larger creatures, but in the end, was it really so?
The sky and the earth were full of living creatures more beautiful than us; they could feed on those... yet we existed.
In any case, my story was short, and as it had begun, it was already about to end.
Yet a fate not willed by me, a motion arising from the ancestor of my ancestors, made me continue in my development.
I wanted to continue to exist, yet I knew that every movement brought me closer to the end.
I wandered without a precise destination during the night, twirling in one of the dances that the nocturnal creatures that furrowed the darkness so enjoyed.
Here is a purpose to feel pleasure, to continue the species and go on... but without a reason why...
Suddenly, in the starry darkness, I saw a light in the distance. Like a fool. The foolishness that had been passed down to me since birth.
Moved by an irresistible force, I began my descent towards it. Once far enough away to escape its call, now too close to break free.
I was no longer thinking, even though I had seen countless times so many of my companions drawn to similar lights, never to return, all memory had vanished, and like a magnet, I was drawn in.
Too far... Too distant...
I knew I had already lost the race against the motionless pursuer, even though the Ancestor of all things kept sending me back. Where did the Great Ancestor originate? The one who set the threads and rules of the cosmos, according to which my body would fall to the ground if it weren't for my wings trying to keep me aloft?
How many dangers had awaited me since before I was born.
My father and mother could have died before meeting and begetting me, yet here I was.
I could have died as a larva, ignorant and inexperienced in the world, yet a fate not willed by me, a motion arising from the ancestor of my ancestors, made me continue in my development.
I could have died, eaten by terrifying flying creatures, eager to open their jaws and draw me into the dark corridor beyond their toothed cavern, or by those with many eyes, swift as lightning, slow as those who know they need not hurry, who waited for some unwary traveler to become trapped in their sticky dwelling, ready to sink their blades into the path where my vital nectar flows, draining it while I remained conscious of what was happening.
But drawn to such a deceitful and insidious light, I flew towards what would be my tomb.
There it was, so large and beautiful, as I had always seen it then. Once far enough away to escape its call, now too close to escape it.
I plunged towards it, but as soon as I embraced it, the heat, so intense and so strong, forced me to flee and escape far away.
Too far... Too distant...
Indeed, a new, constant, and persuasive force drew me back towards it; I refused it, but it was stronger than me. And so, countless times, until I lost all memory and intention.
Sounds of confused wings, easy prey, sounds of violent blows, perhaps caresses for some, violent punches for me. I don't know which of these sounds was the last, but I know it happened.
I saw, and I did not see, all confused; I no longer knew where I was, and suddenly, I felt a light touch and fell to the ground.
Perhaps that was the last sound.
I tried to open my wings again, but they no longer responded.
Only one wing still moved, but uselessly, and it only caused me further falls.
Here I was, going towards the "where I do not know," and I felt my small body becoming colder.
No one would ever remember me, and soon, I too would forget who I had been and if I had ever existed.
Farewell, my bitter life, my harsh and mysterious life. I never understood you, and I never could have, too little time to survive, less time to ponder.
I was born, and I died, and I never asked, and now I return to the darkness.
The gloom.
The dark.
Nothingness.
And yet... I was sure I had heard the last one when I distinctly heard a distant sound...
There, it was getting closer... it seemed... a flapping of wings... No, not one but many, many flappings of small wings.
Where were they coming from?
The darkness slowly vanished, as if swallowed by a light mist, and there... I see them.
There are many small moths, countless, like I had never seen in my life, and we all fly close together. All dancing the dance we love so much.
I look around, up, down, and the more the mist dissolves, the more I realize the quantity of moths that are present in this place. I had never seen so many in all my life.
But there, there is something else. Despite the immense number of my companions, no one covers for another what is shown to our eyes.
I see her antennae first, then her wings and legs.
It's strange... I felt something stirring inside me, as if I were in front of one of those little lights that I liked so much.
There she is, I see her...
An enormous moth, gigantic. Larger than anything I had ever seen in my life.
Majestic, powerful in her wing beats. Slow, as if she did not have to fight with the weight of her body and as if her wings were capable of moving the great light that appeared only once in the morning.
She flies like us, and we all increase our rhythm, and she responds with us; she is greeting us.
She emits that magical sound that now we can hear, our secret language.
I look into her eyes, and I see something; I am not sure what it is, in fact, but it particularly attracts my attention.
Another moth with splendid wings and small legs. I didn't think such beautiful moths existed; surely, she is one of the daughters of the Great Moth. What an honor to be beautiful like her.
But it doesn't matter; I am here before her, and at least it is enough for me to be in their company.
Wait a moment... perhaps it was just an impression, but it seemed that she was looking at me, straight at me.
Such a beautiful moth looking at me?
She seems happy, and I am happy too.
Perhaps it was just an impression, but...
I approach a little with fear, and it seems that the others also advance a little... suddenly, when I am close enough, I realize what is in front of me.
I try to change my rhythm and modify my dance to be sure and to understand if I really understood and I am not confused. Then, in a few moments, everything became clear.
That small and sweet moth... was... me...?
I... I had never realized I was so beautiful. What beautiful wings I had, and what a young and fresh appearance.
I shift my gaze a little, and I see the other moths reflected in the large eyes; we are all observing each other and studying our diversities and peculiarities.
There are moths with larger wings, others with shorter legs.
Others with fewer legs and with slender antennae, or more or less extensive fur with different imperceptible colors. I had never noticed all this difference between us.
How beautiful we are.
And... the flapping of wings...
I thought all moths made the same noise, and instead... it was different...
From what seemed like a confused noise, I seemed to hear a melody.
A melody that became increasingly clear and distinct, which brought so much peace to my small heart.
No... brings. It brings so much peace to my small heart.
The Great Moth slowly rotates a little, as if to turn to the other side.
The enchantment vanished, and the music returned to being confused again.
Was the magic already over?
Of course, it couldn't last; I understood that. I would have liked to always see myself so beautiful, every day, and hear that music forever... but I understood that the Great Moth was free, and if she wanted to move, she could.
It would have been a nice memory anyway.
Suddenly she stops and turns back towards us. She stands still for a few moments and returns to where she was, but this time to continue the journey.
Now I understand; she wants us to follow her, and so we do, advancing steadily in the bright mist until, in the distance, as a final surprise, a small light.
I feel drawn, but I am so afraid, and I stop.
Many of us stop, perhaps those who have experienced how many lies were hidden in a small light and how powerful and painful it could be.
The Great Moth stops and turns back towards us, waiting, in silence as always.
I don't understand; it didn't seem like she wanted to deceive us, yet I am afraid. I had trusted a deceitful little light, and I died; why should I go towards it without uncertainty?
Then I realize something.
I look inside myself, and I realize that I don't feel attracted in a forced way; I feel as if it is calling me.
A strong and constant call.
I advance... a little. No, I was afraid, and I stopped.
I advance another bit, slowly.
Seeing that the Great Moth awaits me, that she does not move without me, gives me solace, reassures me.
Alright, you had shown me something I did not know; I wanted to trust you.
Some small moths did not want to continue their journey and fled far away; I wanted to see, but I was so afraid. If I had fled, where would I have gone? There was nothing there, and I would have wandered forever, searching for this place that I would never have found without someone to accompany me there.
I trust you, okay? Please don't make fun of me.
As soon as I reached the Great Moth, I landed on her head with other moths among the most frightened.
Slowly she turns and advances towards that small light, which, as we proceeded, became increasingly intense and larger.
Increasingly immense and glorious.
Eternal and absolute, and, having passed the clouds, I see it.
An immense garden with so much fruit to eat and clothes to slip into.
Many small lights that never hurt. I see no predator hidden in waiting, and the sky is clear, without rain.
We dance and sing with the Great Moth who remains with us, among us, in this immense garden that is herself. And as she dances, her flight becomes lighter, more similar to ours, until she is no longer just a moth among moths but also the garden that welcomes us, the light that illuminates us, the sky that protects us.
The clouds close and slowly vanish.
It is morning, yes, but it did not bother me... no, it does not bother me, and it is beautiful, forever truly beautiful.
I will no longer have to flee or hide, and be afraid, because now I am home.
I am and was and will be the Little Moth, and this is my name.
The End.
