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bleedingbxnes

bleedingbxnes

fight decay, perfect nothing
Nov 20, 2023
22
I have been severely depressed since I was seven and I've been suicidal since ten. Ive been on antidepressants since 13 and while some have helped, none of them have worked for longer than a few months, and the side effects are crippling because I have anorexia and am very underweight. I've been at every level of care - only one that worked at all was inpatient, but that TRAUMATIZED me - I have nightmares about being taken away in an ambulance. Plus it is very expensive. I also have ADHD which I am about to start medication for, and that combined with severe depression and burnout leads to extremely low motivation levels and I find myself feeling like I can't move much of the day. Literally using text to speech to type this. I'm in endless cycle of getting somewhat better, then falling back down.

What can I do to stop feeling awful? Like, on top of the medication. I'm working on recovery for my ed which should help, but are there any other methods?
 
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ForgottenAgain

ForgottenAgain

On the rollercoaster of sadness
Oct 17, 2023
1,031
I'm so sorry you're going through this, that's such an intense life story and so many years feeling unwell...

You spoke a lot about medication but have you done therapy? I feel like medication alone without therapy is quite limited long term, for me therapy has done the heavy lifting of helping me feel better.

I don't have many other ideas beyond therapy right now unfortunately. Don't know what else is out there, it really is not easy to recover.
 
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bleedingbxnes

bleedingbxnes

fight decay, perfect nothing
Nov 20, 2023
22
thanks for replying! I see my psychiatrist about every 3 weeks as both a medication check-in and a therapy session. weekly outpatient had been iffy in the past, but I'll search for one if I need it soon.

I started Strattera today. it's an adhd medication. it's my first time being medicated for adhd, and I'm hopeful that it'll work for me. untreated adhd can cause severe depression, so I'm hoping that the strattera plus my antidepressants will be helpful.