Story The plan

[RealLostSoul]

I am not at the point where I am "I'm deffo gonn do it" but I want an escape route as my life is at the edge. Making a real plan to suicide is a good option as it gives a lot of relieve knowing you can quit this shit if you want to. I am struggling with getting the stuff (SN, antiemetics, etc) but may be having it in a couple of weeks. This should not be the topic of this post however, neither should be my motives (I will tell you once things come closer).
Maybe it's all about power but once I have the stuff I need I know I can execute the plan and be forever free.

So here is my hypothetical plan and I hope you can give me some feedback. It's very important that I send out goodbye notes via digital medium and that I don't get saved. The last place where I am going to is a mental hospital. I can't do it at home so that's the reasoning behind this plan.

Day X. Starting at 2 am I will send out all goodbye notes via my phone, then shut it off and leave it in my room. Then I will proceed to drive off about an hour from my home to a big forest in a rural area. I need to preemptively decide the place, something I still gotta figure out, I know the rough place but not the exact spot. I will leave my car on a small back road and walk into the forest. The place should be far away from any hiking paths and dense with trees, just in case. I will take the painkillers + Benzos probably once I leave my car. Of course, I will be fasting already + antiemetics. I will walk to the designated place and dig a small hole with a shovel (I may do this preemptively but not quite sure yet). This is so my body doesn't get spotted. Once I am done with it I will drink SN, jump in, and lay down, I will take a backup drink with me just in case. I am assuming I will lay in the hole for some time until I blackout but I kind of like the idea of dying in nature. I hope I can be joining the collective before the sun rises. The aftermath will be timed emails that will reveal the coordinates so they can recover my body. I hope I can avoid anyone potentially finding me, I need to figure the place out properly.
The only big drawback is that I will not be able to donate my organs, I would love to help someone with my remains but there is no good method available (to me) that will allow this anyways so I have to come to terms with that.

Anyways, what do you think? Are there any flaws or anything in that plan?

 

[boc]

If your idea is dying in nature, then driving an hour out is itself an insurance policy. By the time they get the note, you still have another hour until they find you. I would recommend scouting out the location in advance, and prepping it. Keep in mind with SN, there is a good chance you vomit. So you may want to adjust your hole to ensure you're not lying in your own vomit as you go. Also maybe some blankets to put in the hole so the ground isn't cold.

Sounds solid otherwise. Wishing you peace in whatever you choose.

 

[EraseRewind]

Seems like a well thought out and thoughtful plan, people will always be sad when ctb is involved but you are being as considerate as any plan can be I guess.

I hope you can find a path that means you don't have to use the plan, but sometimes that's easier said than done, best wishes.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think having a plan to leave can help us, knowing we can exit this world if things become too unbearable. It is a well thought out plan, and I agree that you should look at the location in advance. I wish you well.

 

[hahabye]

Sounds very similar to my plan! I have also chosen a place in the nature. I already went to explore it and found a peaceful spot with a nice view. I did meet two people around there, which might put me at risk of being discovered, but since that place is quite difficult to access with a car and my method is N, I think I will be good to go. I will drink my N in the evening, which will hopefully reduce the likelihood of being discovered.

Your plan sounds more elaborate regarding the hiding, but that make sense given the stories of being using SN and being discovered too soon and "saved".

Oh and just for safety, I've decided to schedule my emails for the morning after so that nobody would go chasing and looking for me.

 

[RealLostSoul]

Update: so I decided on a few things. First of all I will be visiting the place at least 3 times. Once at daytime to find the spot, then at nighttime to observe if there really isn't anyone nearby and to test if digging a hole or whatever really works the way I want, then the last time will be the go. I will also wear camo cloths, which I don't like at all but they help covering my body in the dense forest a bit.

If your idea is dying in nature, then driving an hour out is itself an insurance policy. By the time they get the note, you still have another hour until they find you. I would recommend scouting out the location in advance, and prepping it. Keep in mind with SN, there is a good chance you vomit. So you may want to adjust your hole to ensure you're not lying in your own vomit as you go. Also maybe some blankets to put in the hole so the ground isn't cold.

Sounds solid otherwise. Wishing you peace in whatever you choose.

Yea but I don't anticipate them finding my car but I see the problem. I think I will take a blanket with me! Vomiting is the worst part of SN imo so I deffo do it with antiemetics.

Seems like a well thought out and thoughtful plan, people will always be sad when ctb is involved but you are being as considerate as any plan can be I guess.

I hope you can find a path that means you don't have to use the plan, but sometimes that's easier said than done, best wishes.

Thanks, the path without CTB requires luck, something I inherently never have.

Sounds very similar to my plan! I have also chosen a place in the nature. I already went to explore it and found a peaceful spot with a nice view. I did meet two people around there, which might put me at risk of being discovered, but since that place is quite difficult to access with a car and my method is N, I think I will be good to go. I will drink my N in the evening, which will hopefully reduce the likelihood of being discovered.

Your plan sounds more elaborate regarding the hiding, but that make sense given the stories of being using SN and being discovered too soon and "saved".

Oh and just for safety, I've decided to schedule my emails for the morning after so that nobody would go chasing and looking for me.

Yea deffo do it at night if you do it outside. I can't schedule any emails as most of my most have to be via whatsapp or SMS unfortunately. these apps don't have any delayed message feature :/.

 

[boc]

Yea deffo do it at night if you do it outside. I can't schedule any emails as most of my most have to be via whatsapp or SMS unfortunately. these apps don't have any delayed message feature :/.

I would highly recommend something delayed. The chances of being found will increase immensely without that. You could write physical notes to most individuals and have one delayed email going out to a key person and tell them where the remaining notes are. Not sure of other options. It's tough, but things to look into. Or you could do with mailing physical letters the night of, they'll arrive the following week.

 

[RealLostSoul]

I would highly recommend something delayed. The chances of being found will increase immensely without that. You could write physical notes to most individuals and have one delayed email going out to a key person and tell them where the remaining notes are. Not sure of other options. It's tough, but things to look into. Or you could do with mailing physical letters the night of, they'll arrive the following week.

I don't trust physical letters, neither do I trust that anyone will forward anything. I think I can cut down some to delayed emails or so but there will be at least a few people that I need to contact via whatsapp :(. That's why I am doing it at night though, they will be asleep at 3am. and even if not and they call the authorities what can they potentially do? Will they send out helicopters to scout the area?

 

[greyhound]

If you are set on a hole, I would pre-dig it. Do you really want to spend your final moments digging a hole. But otherwise I would probably just scrap the hole idea. Crawl into some dense foliage or something to avoid being spotted easily. The hole seems like overkill unless you really don't want your body to be found ever.

 

[boc]

even if not and they call the authorities what can they potentially do? Will they send out helicopters to scout the area?

I think there is a legitimate chance that they would send out a search party, maybe even a helicopter. If you are going to send these messages at the time, would recommend waiting until after you take the SN and before you fall asleep.