The Problem with Doing a Goodbye Post

[-nobodyknows-]

I've considered doing one here, not really addressed to anyone in particular (though I've also considered doing it as a sort of "message that will never be sent" thing for certain people I have known but feel like I shouldn't tell for one reason or another), but sort of just to say goodbye to something.

However, the more I've thought about it, the more a certain issue gnaws at me: if I post a goodbye thread I'm fairly certain that someone I know will find it and go through my stuff here. The chance is even higher if I used SN, given its association with this place. I can't imagine it being particularly difficult to do; just go through the threads here looking for goodbye posts within ~72 hours, searching for the users that posted them, and then going through their post history to find the most likely candidate. Even if I were to private my profile before hand, the default search function would still allow someone to do so.

I don't really care too much about people reading that stuff anonymously, but the idea of someone I know reading my posts and making them feel horrible just crushes me.

 

[Shadows From Hell]

If you don't include any real information about yourself (name, state, country etc...), then highly unlikely that anyone would know it was you.

Now if you ctb, and leave this site open, or don't delete any past visits to this site, that's a while different ballgame.

I plan on completely destroying my phone for any evidence of my demise, and also to protect this site. I am going to burn my phone until it's nothing but complete ashes, then it's goodbye world.

 

[soonnotkoei]

I've considered doing one here, not really addressed to anyone in particular (though I've also considered doing it as a sort of "message that will never be sent" thing for certain people I have known but feel like I shouldn't tell for one reason or another), but sort of just to say goodbye to something.

However, the more I've thought about it, the more a certain issue gnaws at me: if I post a goodbye thread I'm fairly certain that someone I know will find it and go through my stuff here. The chance is even higher if I used SN, given its association with this place. I can't imagine it being particularly difficult to do; just go through the threads here looking for goodbye posts within ~72 hours, searching for the users that posted them, and then going through their post history to find the most likely candidate. Even if I were to private my profile before hand, the default search function would still allow someone to do so.

I don't really care too much about people reading that stuff anonymously, but the idea of someone I know reading my posts and making them feel horrible just crushes me.

this is a very real problem that i didnt even think about. authorities or loved ones might search this site for goodbye threads that lines up with your suicide. i mean i dont know high likely it is for authorities to do this kind of stuff but if i were an investigator and i knew about this site, i would do the same.

 

[TheHolySword]

I'll make a goodbye post. And if anyone I knew figures out this was me, they'll probably want to poke around and see what I've said but it'll only leave them disappointed.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I hope that my family never finds my account on here as merely my profile post and the description under my username would be enough to hurt them a lot as then they will come to the truth that I escaped their religion ages ago which would make them feel like they failed at parenting. My own suicide would be enough to make them feel that but adding this on top of it... it's gonna be fucked.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think I must have considered this as a vague possibility. I find it very unlikely people would be that interested or invested in me or my story to go looking for me afterwards though.

There was even this weird vague hope that some might I suppose. In that all the shit in my childhood that firmly set me on this path was just kind of brushed under the carpet and a part of me wants people to know where it all began. (And, I suppose, who was responsible.) Some form of retribution in a way.

But then, I wouldn't want people who genuinely cared about me to see other posts. I've vented about the unreliability of friendships in the past but, I genuinely wouldn't want them to feel like they could/ should have done more. It was also my choice to let contact drift between us.

I doubt I would do a live thread for other reasons though. I'd love the support of course but, sometimes you still get the odd pro-lifer jump in to try and 'save' the person. That would annoy me if it happened. Also, I don't want to provide any opportunity of being stopped. I know it's annonymous but still, announcing things live troubles me. Plus, I don't want the forum page open if they bother to search my devices. I'd rather authorities or family not know I was a member abd start (mis)placing the blame here.

Initially, I really thought I would want to make one, to not feel so alone but then, all the things above trouble me. I also feel like, what more can we really say to one another asides from hoping a person finds their peace. It's so hard to even know what to say at the end. My responses to people all sound so 'copy and pasted' inadequate.

I realised in conclusion that I would more likely post a scheduled post after the event. This community has meant so much to me. So, I'd want to say thank you and goodbye. Plus, I've missed the sense of closure here when members I liked just disappeared. While it obviously hurts, it still feels better to have the closure of knowing what happened to them.

 

[danny10]

I am planning not only to leave a goodbye thread but hopefully I'll be able to update about my CTB live here. I am planning SN method so it would be useful information for this beautiful community. I don't really care if my loved ones see that I had activity here. They already know I'm suicidal.

 

[NonEssential]

Seems highly unlikely to happen if people you know irl don't even know that this website exists.

 

[luckytwice]

I feel somewhat the same. I don't want anyone IRL to know about my plans/use of this site (hello network operator people who can see my activity :3 <3) but at the same time, if I'm dead, what does it matter?

My only worries are accidentally forgetting to clear my phone and potentially revealing this site to others, which would be just horrible, because I know that it's been a sanctuary for so many for so long.

Love,
Lucky

 

[noidea1984]

I've considered doing one here, not really addressed to anyone in particular (though I've also considered doing it as a sort of "message that will never be sent" thing for certain people I have known but feel like I shouldn't tell for one reason or another), but sort of just to say goodbye to something.

However, the more I've thought about it, the more a certain issue gnaws at me: if I post a goodbye thread I'm fairly certain that someone I know will find it and go through my stuff here. The chance is even higher if I used SN, given its association with this place. I can't imagine it being particularly difficult to do; just go through the threads here looking for goodbye posts within ~72 hours, searching for the users that posted them, and then going through their post history to find the most likely candidate. Even if I were to private my profile before hand, the default search function would still allow someone to do so.

I don't really care too much about people reading that stuff anonymously, but the idea of someone I know reading my posts and making them feel horrible just crushes me.

People don't seem to understand that not every suicide is on impulse, and banning common and (mostly) peaceful methods without fixing the problems of society is only going to get people to attempt more "exotic" and dangerous methods. Sure there may be less "deaths," but there would definitely be a rise in those who fail and end up with permanent organ damage.
Honestly, I won't make any effort to destroy any of my social media before I go. I'll be dead anyways, what is my family gonna do to me that I'll know about?

 

[platypus77]

I am planning not only to leave a goodbye thread but hopefully I'll be able to update about my CTB live here. I am planning SN method so it would be useful information for this beautiful community. I don't really care if my loved ones see that I had activity here. They already know I'm suicidal.

As I was thinking to do it myself.

I just want to raise the awareness of @StrawberryPanic's case, she allowed her CTB by SN to be recorded in video in 2021. I see nothing wrong about it since we're just ceasing existing anyway.

But there's an implication to those who stay, people outside the community identified her family members on social media just for sadoniscim to harass them.

That made me give up on the idea.

Just be mindful of the consequences although I suspect it was her wish or didn't cared at all because she did mentioned to suffer abuse.

I wish you to be successful in whatever is your choice.

Edit: despite everything I'm grateful for her braveness she went beautifully and peacefully.