The TocixJester SN Journey

[toxicjester]

I wanted to continue taking about my findings with SN on the one thread I made but thought it'd be better to have a more concise thread. I'll go ahead and copy paste the shit I said on my last thread to have everything in one place

"Shit has gotten so bad for me that I'm considering a method I'm not keen on just so that I can have it if push comes to shove.

But FUCK there's a lot that goes into SN :,)

Nevermind all the other bs I have to get in order to be as comfortable as possible, the actual SN feels like it's hard to find to buy at a nice price as a consumer. I've found a couple of sources that are laboratory/research chemical places but these I think are rigorous in who buys these products, or don't ship to US.

I've found the dmc website but damn that's some money and even in my last moments I'm a hell of a penny pincher and since I know you can feasibly get it for cheaper I can't get over my insatiable need to save and not buy it somewhere expensive :,)

I finally came across the YT brand though and thought I had found something that was perfect! But when I went to look for it it wasn't available on the website. When I looked it up just online there was links, but then the links led to nowhere.

Does anyone know if maybe they just stopped selling SN? Or maybe I'm being a dumbass and they are still selling it but I can't find it? Or I'm an even bigger dumbass and I have the completely wrong brand? :,) ((I've since found out that yes: it is available but that yes: I am a dumbass cause I still can't find it))

This shit sucks cause trying to piece the puzzle for other sources I've seen is difficult. I'm not asking for sources, I'll keep doing my own research but it's getting heavy on me and I'm fucking tired"

I've since found what I assume is the BM brand on a*****o. I'm paranoid about messaging them about shipping to the us but it looks like it isn't nearly as expensive as dmc, although I'm sure the shipping would balance that out.

I have yet to find WC, I'm still gonna keep looking for them but like it's been a search and a half :,)

I don't know if any other brands as of yet but I'll keep looking

I also haven't even started the search on benzodiazepines or meto/alternatives or anything. I think I might look into domperidone instead of meto since I know how to get that, but I have no clue on what to do for benzos, I don't think I could get it from I doctor. I really tried to once because I just wanted to use Xanax but I just got Prozac and hydroxazine instead. My gf knows more about DN stuff but I dunno how I'd go about asking about this stuff.

I don't know that I'll completely stick with this since this wasn't my preferred method at all but I feel like beggars can't be choosers y'know?

Maybe I'll make a thread like this for CO stuff too

Any advice (no sources) or maybe just thoughts would be appreciated. I know I can always look at the thousands of SN guides n shit but I like talking to people so

 

[toxicjester]

I still haven't found WC or wherever YT has their shit :(

I found a website that at first glance looks like it might be the main website to get BM SN. But then I try to look at the about info and it has the placeholder Latin stuff that's on like templates n stuff and having that on what you'd think is an official website seems like hella scam :(

I really want to find WC and see if I can finally find the YT stuff before deciding on a place to order my stuff.

I also planted the idea into my gf's head that I want to maybe get some benzos or opioids for recreational use (which isn't a a lie cause I would legitimately like that stuff for recreational use, I just also want a stash for this purpose also)

 

[toxicjester]

I've found WC! And they seem way cheaper, but it's almost too cheap? I know they're a chemical company and SN is cheap when you don't use it to ctb but I'm still anxious :(

While I was trying to do research to see if anyone else had bought from them or used their SN successfully I found a scary story of someone's attempt and SN wasn't my first method in the first place but now I'm really

Has anyone had any experience with WC? Any successful attempts maybe? Or just general comfort or something about this method?

I'm just really scared and anxious and I keep getting scary signs from the universe :,)

 

[SVEN]

I guess I don't really expect encouraging signs from "the Universe", TJ. After all, what has it ever done to suggest it has my best interests at heart, or even cares what happens to me.

 

[toxicjester]

I guess I don't really expect encouraging signs from "the Universe", TJ. After all, what has it ever done to suggest it has my best interests at heart, or even cares what happens to me.

that's fair but more recently it's been like it's giving me signs that more bad stuff is gonna happen I guess, it's just delusions I guess they've been acting up crazy especially when they were right about my gf attempting :,(

my sorry it's been mean to you, you've been v nice to me and I like you and I want the universe to give you nice things

 

[SVEN]

If you believe in the Universe caring for or about you, please don't pay too much attention to me, TJ. I just find that it's too easy for me to read meanings into random events which can be interpreted in a load of different ways.
If the life the Universe has given you has led you to the point of suicide things can't be good, so perhaps it's telling you to change your personal relationship with your partner and move on ? That's if you feel it's hindering you in your search for means.

 

[toxicjester]

Yo no sé :(
I think I'm also tired and had some drink and was just doing a little research before bed and then my brain did all this stupid stuff
I'll keep going and I'll see what other signs n stuff I get I guess? I don't know if the universe loves or hates me I just know it's there and it sometimes gives me patterns to recognize?

I still want to see what others say about the SN from WC maybe? Or SN im general cause I'm a ball of anxiety and wanting to know how stuff is and plan it n stuff