(Forgive me if this rant seems insane, but I'm so freaking done with the universe and all of the ridiculously bad luck it throws at me all of the time.)
I swear to god the universe always finds a way to ruin my happiness. It manages to take away literally anything that makes me happy in life, such as:
Friends
Certain things I like
Music
Food/sweets
Sleep
Games
(There might be more, but I can't think of any more at the moment.)
Every time I make a friend online, they either always force me to initiate conversations first, they're bad people, or they end up ghosting me for no reason. Every time I really like something, either something bad happens to it (like it getting broken somehow), the quality goes downhill, or it gets discontinued. Every time I try to listen to music, someone then decides to start talking to me (it's not too much of a bad thing, but it's really annoying). Every time I like any kind of food, they either stop making it, or it's no longer as good as it used to be. Almost every time I like some kind of sweets, either I no longer get to eat them again for some reason (pretty much the same thing with food I really like too), or I get reminded of my place (as in my mother telling me that I haven't been to the dentist in a while).
Every time I like a game, it either ends up being rigged later on or it completely disappears. Every time I try to take a nap during the day, something or someone always manages to interrupt it. I can't even close my eyes for a few seconds without being jolted awake by someone or something. Every time I try to get a decent amount of sleep at night, either someone decides to wake up earlier than they usually would and wake me up early by being noisy, or I wouldn't feel like I didn't sleep well because of some bad dreams. Either way, I never feel well rested. And if I do get good dreams, someone would disrupt it by being too loud and noisy. Not only that, but every time I try to go back to sleep, I'll keep getting woken up over and over again until I finally give up. Then everyone decides to be quiet.
It's like any time the universe sees me liking something, it feels the extreme urge to take it away from me. And anytime I so much as feel any happiness whatsoever, the universe would quickly shut it down. Every time I try to be happy or feel better, either something bad happens afterwards or in the middle of me feeling happy (usually minor, but bad enough to ruin my whole mood and maybe even my whole day), someone or something ruins my mood, or I make a stupid mistake/mistakes and get scolded/lectured about it.
I try to be positive and hopeful, but I always end up getting the complete opposite results instead. I can't even get my hopes up about anything because I'm most likely just going to end up disappointed. Either because something gets delayed, or it just doesn't happen at all. Every time I get my hopes up, at least 95% of the time, nothing ever happens and I end up regretting ever getting my hopes up. All I do is get my hopes up for nothing.
I'm not making any of this mess up. All of this has been going on for several years (about 8 years, I think). My luck hasn't gotten better. If anything, it seems like it keeps getting worse the older I get, especially lately. I know these are all little things, but they've been building up and up and up over the years, over and over and over again almost without fail. It's as if the universe woke up one day and decided to hate me for no reason at all, for the rest of my life. It's as if the universe is trying really hard into driving me to suicide, at this point. If this isn't a curse, then I don't know what it is. I just want to be happy and just stay happy without anything or anybody coming to ruin it somehow. I seriously can't take another day living with this bs.
I swear to god the universe always finds a way to ruin my happiness. It manages to take away literally anything that makes me happy in life, such as:
Friends
Certain things I like
Music
Food/sweets
Sleep
Games
(There might be more, but I can't think of any more at the moment.)
Every time I make a friend online, they either always force me to initiate conversations first, they're bad people, or they end up ghosting me for no reason. Every time I really like something, either something bad happens to it (like it getting broken somehow), the quality goes downhill, or it gets discontinued. Every time I try to listen to music, someone then decides to start talking to me (it's not too much of a bad thing, but it's really annoying). Every time I like any kind of food, they either stop making it, or it's no longer as good as it used to be. Almost every time I like some kind of sweets, either I no longer get to eat them again for some reason (pretty much the same thing with food I really like too), or I get reminded of my place (as in my mother telling me that I haven't been to the dentist in a while).
Every time I like a game, it either ends up being rigged later on or it completely disappears. Every time I try to take a nap during the day, something or someone always manages to interrupt it. I can't even close my eyes for a few seconds without being jolted awake by someone or something. Every time I try to get a decent amount of sleep at night, either someone decides to wake up earlier than they usually would and wake me up early by being noisy, or I wouldn't feel like I didn't sleep well because of some bad dreams. Either way, I never feel well rested. And if I do get good dreams, someone would disrupt it by being too loud and noisy. Not only that, but every time I try to go back to sleep, I'll keep getting woken up over and over again until I finally give up. Then everyone decides to be quiet.
It's like any time the universe sees me liking something, it feels the extreme urge to take it away from me. And anytime I so much as feel any happiness whatsoever, the universe would quickly shut it down. Every time I try to be happy or feel better, either something bad happens afterwards or in the middle of me feeling happy (usually minor, but bad enough to ruin my whole mood and maybe even my whole day), someone or something ruins my mood, or I make a stupid mistake/mistakes and get scolded/lectured about it.
I try to be positive and hopeful, but I always end up getting the complete opposite results instead. I can't even get my hopes up about anything because I'm most likely just going to end up disappointed. Either because something gets delayed, or it just doesn't happen at all. Every time I get my hopes up, at least 95% of the time, nothing ever happens and I end up regretting ever getting my hopes up. All I do is get my hopes up for nothing.
I'm not making any of this mess up. All of this has been going on for several years (about 8 years, I think). My luck hasn't gotten better. If anything, it seems like it keeps getting worse the older I get, especially lately. I know these are all little things, but they've been building up and up and up over the years, over and over and over again almost without fail. It's as if the universe woke up one day and decided to hate me for no reason at all, for the rest of my life. It's as if the universe is trying really hard into driving me to suicide, at this point. If this isn't a curse, then I don't know what it is. I just want to be happy and just stay happy without anything or anybody coming to ruin it somehow. I seriously can't take another day living with this bs.
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