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GoodForNothing

GoodForNothing

Member
Mar 6, 2019
19
Does anyone else use cutting or any other forms of self-harm to suppress that fu*cking god-awful voice in the back of your head???
I am not proud to admit to this in any way, but I don't know where else to ask without fear of judgment or shame because let's face it, it's a subject that can be used heavily against you.

This is a very secretive part of my life, so any damage done to oneself is discreetly hidden away so that whatever the time of year maybe, they stay hidden. I don't want to be stereotyped as "just another cutter looking for attention". These are my burdens to carry and no one else's.
I guess I am just looking for some advice or just some reassurance that I'm not losing my mind. I will just add that I am not suicidal, but I feel I am spiralling down a path I don't want to be a part of.

Just to put an age to this post I am 24 and thank you to whoever takes the time out to read this.
 
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DrownedOctopus

DrownedOctopus

Experienced
Mar 2, 2019
246
I used to do the exact same thing. Mostly did it because it'd make me numb as hell, and I felt nothing after however long enduring feeling EVERYTHING so overwhelmingly. It never shut up my thoughts, though, unfortunately.
I'd cut or burn myself, having done nerve damage with both and losing feeling in parts of my arms and hands.
I'd say find something else because this can turn negatively so quickly. You can do some irreversible damage that's pretty hard to deal with, more than you may realize now.
The scars end up being the least of your problems if you do it badly enough.
I know it's probably the best feeling, and the whickest and easiest way to getting what you want from it. Hell of a lot easier than exercise, and it's so much faster.
But I'd really recommend finding a different coping mechanism. Although, even if you do, you're probably always going to have that urge.
I still do. And I have acted on it when I can't take it anymore.
And the aftermath of that is just a whole different mess on the ceiling.
You're not crazy. It releases endorphins which make you feel pretty damn good afterwards. And I don't think it's an attention thing either. I firmly believe if people do everything they can to hide it, they're not looking for attention from it.
Just the ones who show off their scars or cuts or brag about it (and I've told off many people for doing such things).
 
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GoodForNothing

GoodForNothing

Member
Mar 6, 2019
19
I used to do the exact same thing. Mostly did it because it'd make me numb as hell, and I felt nothing after however long enduring feeling EVERYTHING so overwhelmingly. It never shut up my thoughts, though, unfortunately.
I'd cut or burn myself, having done nerve damage with both and losing feeling in parts of my arms and hands.
I'd say find something else because this can turn negatively so quickly. You can do some irreversible damage that's pretty hard to deal with, more than you may realize now.
The scars end up being the least of your problems if you do it badly enough.
I know it's probably the best feeling, and the whickest and easiest way to getting what you want from it. Hell of a lot easier than exercise, and it's so much faster.
But I'd really recommend finding a different coping mechanism. Although, even if you do, you're probably always going to have that urge.
I still do. And I have acted on it when I can't take it anymore.
And the aftermath of that is just a whole different mess on the ceiling.
You're not crazy. It releases endorphins which make you feel pretty damn good afterwards. And I don't think it's an attention thing either. I firmly believe if people do everything they can to hide it, they're not looking for attention from it.
Just the ones who show off their scars or cuts or brag about it (and I've told off many people for doing such things).
I can't say it make numbs but I guess in a way it does, depending how low I have sunk in the moment, depending how deep I cut and how much it hurts, it just knocks me out for a few minutes. All the weight is just lifted, then I can happily go about my day like nothing ever happened if that makes sense.

But since I've been having these extreme lows, I have started to re-evaluate some areas of my life. You know just like trying to work out more often, trying to eat less sh*t, get myself out the house a little more. I don't want to get stuck back in that rut again. So, I am trying.
 
DrownedOctopus

DrownedOctopus

Experienced
Mar 2, 2019
246
I can't say it make numbs but I guess in a way it does, depending how low I have sunk in the moment, depending how deep I cut and how much it hurts, it just knocks me out for a few minutes. All the weight is just lifted, then I can happily go about my day like nothing ever happened if that makes sense.

But since I've been having these extreme lows, I have started to re-evaluate some areas of my life. You know just like trying to work out more often, trying to eat less sh*t, get myself out the house a little more. I don't want to get stuck back in that rut again. So, I am trying.
Well it's good you're trying! It's hard, I know, but even just trying is something to be proud of. I hope these changes help you get some relief from your lows, it sounds like you need it.
 
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