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meltskelt

meltskelt

who?
Aug 11, 2023
106
I have started therapy after many mental breakdowns, the people who lives with me started to feel bad with how I was acting ( even though they don't believe that my depression is something that bad and they say I should just believe that everthing is fine lol). Well, I had a panic attack after a girl said how toxic and problematic it is to be around me, so now I can't even talk to people properly without feeling bad. I know they all hate me or just don't want to bother too much... The therapy sessions are kind of nice because I can express how I feel. In the end the therapist told me I need to take medications and it didn't land well here at home, they got quite mad about it and it feels awful.
The guy I was talking with started to avoid me ( maybe it can be just my imagination, but I think he saw my SH scars )- I have a class today and I really would prefer to avoid him. I dont like him. Exams are close, life is tiring and to be honest soon I will just give up and ctb anyways :)
This is all just a facade. Just me pretending I want to get better while we all know that there is no cure for me, that we are just too messed up to be around anyone anymore.
 
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T

TBONTB

Wizard
May 31, 2025
692
I have started therapy after many mental breakdowns, the people who lives with me started to feel bad with how I was acting ( even though they don't believe that my depression is something that bad and they say I should just believe that everthing is fine lol). Well, I had a panic attack after a girl said how toxic and problematic it is to be around me, so now I can't even talk to people properly without feeling bad. I know they all hate me or just don't want to bother too much... The therapy sessions are kind of nice because I can express how I feel. In the end the therapist told me I need to take medications and it didn't land well here at home, they got quite mad about it and it feels awful.
The guy I was talking with started to avoid me ( maybe it can be just my imagination, but I think he saw my SH scars )- I have a class today and I really would prefer to avoid him. I dont like him. Exams are close, life is tiring and to be honest soon I will just give up and ctb anyways :)
This is all just a facade. Just me pretending I want to get better while we all know that there is no cure for me, that we are just too messed up to be around anyone anymore.
Getting through the days. Why exactly weren't the medications an option?
 
meltskelt

meltskelt

who?
Aug 11, 2023
106
Getting through the days. Why exactly weren't the medications an option?
they think medication is for crazy sick people and dont want to admit that I'm not okay
 
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Dejected 55

Dejected 55

Enlightened
May 7, 2025
1,311
To be fair, and your mileage may vary... but years ago I saw a Psychiatrist and all he would do is ask me if I felt differently, I would say no, he would tell me to take more medicine, then he would schedule a visit for a week later. This went on for a while before I finally decided it was pointless. He didn't even want me to talk in our sessions beyond answering his question about how I felt. I finally stopped with the final commentary to him that I could be depressed for free on my own if he wasn't going to be of any help... That was my last time with therapy. I had several other failed experiences before that.

My point is... some people do need medication and there is NO shame in that. But a lot of doctors take the easy way, spend a few minutes, check a box, and put you on pills that they actually get kick-back from pharmaceutical companies to prescribe to you. That's how we got the opioid crisis, for example... doctors being willing to prescribe things that may or may not help, may or may not cause problems, may or may not be addictive, because they get money to do so... and at the end of the day, being a doctor is a job. They complain in their break room about their "crazy" customers just like you would at your job... they don't give any more of a fuck than anyone else.
 
MyShadow

MyShadow

Student
Aug 27, 2025
101
To be fair, and your mileage may vary... but years ago I saw a Psychiatrist and all he would do is ask me if I felt differently, I would say no, he would tell me to take more medicine, then he would schedule a visit for a week later. This went on for a while before I finally decided it was pointless. He didn't even want me to talk in our sessions beyond answering his question about how I felt. I finally stopped with the final commentary to him that I could be depressed for free on my own if he wasn't going to be of any help... That was my last time with therapy. I had several other failed experiences before that.

My point is... some people do need medication and there is NO shame in that. But a lot of doctors take the easy way, spend a few minutes, check a box, and put you on pills that they actually get kick-back from pharmaceutical companies to prescribe to you. That's how we got the opioid crisis, for example... doctors being willing to prescribe things that may or may not help, may or may not cause problems, may or may not be addictive, because they get money to do so... and at the end of the day, being a doctor is a job. They complain in their break room about their "crazy" customers just like you would at your job... they don't give any more of a fuck than anyone else.
I was spending $350/hour to speak with the psychiatrist nurse practitioner (not the actual psychiatrist) and $250/hour to speak with a therapist. Thousands of dollars and fistfuls of drugs (more money) later, my symptoms got worse. When things got tough for me financially, they dropped me despite telling me that they were here to help. It's all bullshit. It's just really expensive bullshit.
 
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