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dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
If I CTB then there would be no relief... there would be nothing... quite different... I dunno, havent made up my mind
 
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PatKat

PatKat

Meh
Aug 9, 2018
1,027
If I CTB then there would be no relief... there would be nothing... quite different... I dunno, havent made up my mind
Nothing sounds purrfect to me
 
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Worndown

Worndown

Illuminated
Mar 21, 2019
3,187
I thought that was the point
 
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HelensNepenthe

HelensNepenthe

Thoughtful poster
Jan 17, 2019
835
You either live day to day in agony or you catch the bus to not live day to day in pain no more. Your decomposing corpse will make fine for someone's vegetable garden and you won't have to live no more. Your problems become nonexistent or have passed onto people who already gave no shit about you. It is there loss at that point. You don't have any control either. You'll be in an internal sleep. The latter sounds always more appealing. It's the answer if you can't find any solutions.

It's what I'll be doing soon. I can't face the fact of what has happened. Failure seems to not be an option in my household. You're either doing it perfectly or you don't do it at all is what I've learned. My bus is about to be here. Tonight or sometime before May 13 before classes start again for the summer. I'm done!!
 
Last edited:
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agreement

agreement

Mage
Mar 26, 2018
544
Sometimes I think about this too: the final disappointment of not having the final satisfaction that you've succeeded and that you're finally dead.
I've always had a "I won't believe it until I see it" mind, well I won't see this.
 
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lululoo

lululoo

Mage
Dec 15, 2018
558
Sometimes I think about this too: the final disappointment of not having the final satisfaction that you've succeeded and that you're finally dead.
I've always had a "I won't believe it until I see it" mind, well I won't see this.
I know what you mean. And I've felt like a failure at everything for so many years that I would really enjoy the feeling of pride of succeeding at CTB. I will just have to feel that preemptively.
 
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Apostle

Apostle

Student
Apr 17, 2019
129
It's not a relief that we can consciously experience, but then again, not experiencing anything can be a relief in its own way if you ask me.

If I had just killed myself, I think I'd rather be dead and leave it at that, over having some kind of weird little ghostly farewell party to celebrate my own death. But I understand your disappointment and in a small way I sort of share it.
 
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dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
yeah, I guess we are clear

We could successfully CTB...
and know no satisfaction
no succeeding
no feeling of accomplishment
not achieving anything

it would be just NOTHING
 
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Raggas

Raggas

Suicide is self expression
Dec 31, 2018
306
yeah, I guess we are clear

We could successfully CTB...
and know no satisfaction
no succeeding
no feeling of accomplishment
not achieving anything

it would be just NOTHING
In some methods it will be euphoria in the last moments just before passing. Like having a seizure from SN is reportedly euphoric.
 
Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
Well hopefully since we can't celebrate ctb while we are alive, hopefully in the afterlife we can all drink a beer and laugh at our success!
 
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dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
in a point where living is an awful option, but I dont want to die
 
JadedGray

JadedGray

Life Eternal
Jul 24, 2018
991
You're right that we won't ever get to experience the good things in life anymore, but there comes a time when the negative experiences in life outweigh the positive and non-existence becomes the only option.
 
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