torturedmind
What the hell am I doing here?
- Nov 5, 2023
- 18
Does anyone else ever get afraid that their loved ones who aren't suicidal may ctb? For example, I was in my bathroom tonight getting ready for bed, and I had the thought that my dad could be in his room about to ctb. My dad isn't suicidal and doesn't have depression or any other mental illnesses that I know of. But this thought made me so worried, I called out to him and asked if he is okay… It isn't logical, but I think it's because I myself deal with frequent suicidal ideation. I sometimes fear that my dad could be going through a mental battle that I know nothing about. This isn't necessarily relevant, but my dad's best friend shot himself in the head some thirty years or so ago. I also feel like his divorce from my mother was very hard for him, and that he still struggles with it 8 years later. He still has all of the love letters my mom wrote to him during their marriage…anyways, I just wanted to know if anyone else has ever experienced the irrational fear of loved ones choosing to ctb, even if they've never expressed feelings of wanting to do so.
