to mentally ill to form relationships or do anything

[neverbeenbetter]

i am to mentally ill to even talk to people, or form hobbies. when i do talk to someone they think im a very nice and intelligent person with a nice personality, for about a day until i cant wear my mask anymore and i have a mental breakdown and act like a 5 year old and start harming myself. why am i like this? even if i try to ignore it im in such immense emotional pain for apparently no reason that i cant handle it anymore and i show outward signs, basically turning mentally into a 5 year old.

 

[meganblask22]

I feel the exact same way. I don't even try to mask anymore.
I am completely unable to have friends or any type of real relationship with anyone. I don't trust anyone and I have absolutely no good to do here. I have absolutely no idea the last time I could say I was "happy"

 

[neverbeenbetter]

I feel the exact same way. I don't even try to mask anymore.

i am basically either having a 24/7 mental breakdown where i am punching myself in the head saying stupid things and acting like a child or im in catatonic depression

 

[meganblask22]

I am in a constant meltdown but sometimes it is like people don't even see how bad I am or they don't care doesn't matter. I prefer the depression. When I come out of those types of episodes - when I behave like that - I feel like I don't even know what happened or who that person was.

 

[neverbeenbetter]

I am in a constant meltdown but sometimes it is like people don't even see how bad I am or they don't care doesn't matter. I prefer the depression. When I come out of those types of episodes - when I behave like that - I feel like I don't even know what happened or who that person was.

maybe we have bpd since the emotional instability and immaturity lines up, which ive thought ive had before, but i cant get evaluated by a psych because i am to retarded to go outside.

just wanna go one day where i feel like i can control my emotions and not outwardly freak out.

 

[meganblask22]

I'm on meds and I see a doctor and it hasn't helped or changed anything in 30 years. Most days I don't see the point.
I always say... just one day, please give me ONE day where I feel "ok" but I don't know the last time I had that kind of day

 

[neverbeenbetter]

I'm on meds and I see a doctor and it hasn't helped or changed anything in 30 years. Most days I don't see the point.
I always say... just one day, please give me ONE day where I feel "ok" but I don't know the last time I had that kind of day

did you have a traumatic childhood or traumatic events that happened in your childhood? i took an ssri for a few months, but after it did nothing i stopped taking it.

 

[tilsleepcomes]

I'm in the same boat of being unable to form or maintain relationships or hobbies.

I feel you there.

Meds and head pshrinkers don't help. I want an SSRI but they say it will trigger mania for me.

 

[chocolatebar]

I don't exactly feel like wearing a mask. I feel like having some sort of psychological energy that I use when interacting with people. I wake up usually around 40 to 65% and after each interaction along the day, I use about 5 to 20% of it. In the end of the day, I'm exhausted and can't stand to talk to anyone else, If I waste all of my psychological energy, then I collapse and become something close to what you describe.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

I feel too misanthropic to form any real life friendships or connections. The only real friends I've made were online, and even then, it feels like a struggle to maintain them. I am in a curious spot where I prefer being alone but I cannot get rid of the idea that I need to form human connections or else my life will be in a much worse spot. I definitely relate to you, OP.

 

[theboy]

What do you mean you become a 5 year old?

 

[Dead Ghost]

What do you mean you become a 5 year old?

I think it means what happens to many of us, we have a very developed intellectual part that would correspond to that of an adult person, but since we have had a lot of social self-isolation throughout our lives (basically due to fear derived from the 'stress that involves establishing and maintaining relationships when you have a lack of strength in terms of social/relational skills), we are very immature emotionally due to lack of learning or past experiences, causing us to act with such poor resources when faced with any social problem that we look like children small (in fact we are mentally).
//
Crec que vol dir allò que ens passa a molts, tenim la part intelectual molt desenvolupada i que es correspondría amb la d'una persona adulta, però com que hem tingut al llarg de la nostra vida força autoaïllament social (bàsicament per por derivada de l'estrés que suposa establir i mantenir relacions quan tens forces mancances en quan a habilitats socials/relacionals), sóm molt immadurs emocionalment per falta d'aprenantge o experiències passades, fent que davant de qualsevol problema social actuem amb uns recursos tan pobres que semblem nens petits (de fet ho som mentalment).