to see my dream as a memory (soon)

[ornitier199]

4th day w/ vsed, fuck si i've no desire to stop anymore
so planning on ctb this evening before night fall and trying to rid of any potential thoughts that'll keep me from doing it this time.

got a bunch of (now useless) things i've wrote in the past while developing FK. i tried not to believe it but the reality is i'm destined to fail. what i think, or feel is good, is not. yet for some reason i kept growing it like it was. there are no opportunities for a slug like me or for it in anyway. trying to go against the odds only brings more pain, my existence alone is evidence. looking at it i realize how stupid i was even thinking this would ever be more than a dream. and like before someday the dream will end, today. in a weird way doing this helps me ctb better this evening, showing just how stupid and miserable the thing i so liked to do really is. its just what i needed to stop kidding myself and ctb already.
this is closest it'll ever get after all. it'll show just how pathetic i really was, if you fancy a good laugh—pretty much the same as my continued failing of ctb.

some notes crap i wrote of FK titled overview_world_fk.txt

The characters in Final Kismet™ weren't created to be 100% relatable to the real life self. While the characters have relatable attributes and personalities; they could also be thought of and represented as heros, superheros, as they take on bold challenges and face things that are more bold and even outlandish than anything common.

Each and every one of them are created with no filter. They are created and developed in their own rite, with nothing preventing them from their natural personalities, actions and motivations.
They deal with loss, pain and grief. They witness their world become infused with war and conflict, bloodshed, and destruction.
Towns and villages of many of the world's inhabitants deal with the repercussions of revolt from political powers; struggling to find a place to call home after it's been destroyed in war-torn territories. The search of hope, what it means to be human, moral values and lack thereof, loss of hope and death. Dreams and ambitions of its civilians, and the despair of reality.
The Empire's own platoon, its officers, soldiers, imperials who trade their lives for power. Imperials who undergo biological and artificial infusions in order to gain that power, and earn the sense of superiority over their comrades and/or enemy forces.

Soldiers cast in the light of their superiors, be ranked and compared to one another, earning trust, taking losses, building friendships, connections and relationships.
The struggles of coming to terms with their sexuality within the military and the imperfect projections it has on them and in the general society of this war-torn age.
Soldiers of the empire who blindly follow orders, or others used solely as a weapon of mass destruction within the declarations of war. Finding themselves, the protagonists, the supporting characters, the antagonists. Finding a reason and purpose to live, the struggles of narcissism, insecurity and power, control; seeking revenge on those who've done them wrong in their eyes.

A young man's dream of being a soldier, his admiration for his mentor and his desire to be a hero. To love and protect and willingness to accept death before dishonor.

Hybrid unique sentient beings who were ripped away from their homes and forced as imperials to serve in the military; placed on high pedestals for their unmatched and unique abilities. Feeling different from the rest and having their positions threatened by rising rank soldiers; evident by Keith, Raian, Ornitier and Clyde.

'Forbidden love, power and envy. Yearning for a life never lived.'

Character arcs progress as the scenario and world events occur. For example, we have the event of the destruction of the village of Ecthar, home to Ectharians, Freyja, Ariya and Orinitier. While Ornitier was taken away from the village during the disaster, his connection to it and the aftermath would still have an affect on him.
Growing up within the empire and raised as an imperial soldier under the guise of a sorcerer blindly carrying out the actions of the emperor and as the empire's secret weapon. He has had his will and volition stripped from him.
Other soldiers of the empire take heed of this, with knowledge of him being an experiment and a sort of biological weapon for the empire to use to their advantage, claiming superiority to the other nations for this reason alone.

Their morals would come into action, and would see themselves questioning the empire and whether they themselves can stand to serve them any longer. Fighting so much and understanding exactly what it is they are fighting for and if it is worth it. Trying to find purpose, hope in a broken world.

The heavy emphasis on 'Dreams' is an allusion to the Chrono series. Where the narration leans on the borders of reality.

The story is presented from each character's perspective accompanied with narration for key world events that have undergone or will occur in the scenario.

[NARR_IMG]

Similar story telling to FINAL FANTASY VI, the story is told through dialog text, with elements of the story being heavily character focused, and world events are told from a narration perspective.

The story is also conveyed through CG cinematics. These cinematics allow events in the scenario to be told with more emphasis through the use of full 3D CG character models and voice acting.
Since the base game is primarily 2D, the characters are designed in small 2D pixel art, while charming in its right, also has its own limitations in character emotions in certain events where that level of depth far exceeds the capacity given.

It also allows the player to visually see every character in their full intended design from their concept arts.
A style and story telling inspired by FINAL FANTASY IV, FINAL FANTASY VI, FINAL FANTASY IX, BRAVE EXVIUS and Chrono Trigger, where the game implements both 3D cinematics assets alongside the base 2D pixel art style.

Choices made made the player do have an affect on the scenario in event's outcome, allowing the player to choose wisely in their initial decisions, and open up replayability in followup playthroughs to see the gist of all events through all possible choices; exploring the lore to its fullest capacity.

some notes crap i wrote of FK titled tri3f..txt

In 2011, Tri3fecta initially began in the music industry, releasing instrumental beats. This continued until 2015 where I would see it leave the music industry and slowly enter into the video games industry.
I also knew I wanted to create my own games, from a young age, it was something I aspired to. I had one particular scenario in mind for my first game and for a long time I was sure that this would be my first game. Facing Fate: Evil Mist Rebirth was a story that was heavily influenced rather than inspired by Final Fantasy IX.
At the time I started writing the story while I was still in high school. Due to this, the story was a bit immature to put into perspective, in a sense where the characters and their speech patterns/dialog would be almost too rebellious, teenage-esque, and this, this would translate for characters in that story that we're not even of that age range.
It was a story that was serious, a bit dark but didn't take itself and its world as seriously as it should, a lot of concepts were almost shoehorned in from left to right and it became very hard to follow as a result.

Around 2016-2018 I took a long hiatus from writing all together, and I hadn't written for Evil Mist Rebirth in a while. At that time, I was in between revising the story to make it a bit more consistent and mature as intended, but, because the story had grown so large in its original form, I felt it very difficult to do so. At the same time I was already engrossed in the world of modding; a lot of elements from Evil Mist Rebirth would appear in those hobby projects, but nothing of Evil Mist Rebirth would stick on its own.

Since my hiatus, I found it quite difficult for a period of time to really get back into writing and trying to find a style that suits myself. I knew I liked stories that were fantasy based (derived from my love of FINAL FANTASY) but also with elements of nonfiction, such as war-torn settings, post-apocalyptic universes and or wordls with massive conflicts.

Because of this struggle, I hadn't actually sat down and wrote a full fledged scenario for two years. Most of my side writing was for my hobby mod projects, from which I would dabble and experiment with many different types of writing styles and explore wild fantasies which consisted of crossover stories and isekais; a series of small and broad projects would be born. Facing Fate: The Zodiac Era, later renamed to Chrono Trigger: The Zodiac Era, part of a crossover series dubbed 'The Zodiac Trilogy' which consisted of crossing over elements/content of Final Fantasy and Chrono Trigger.

Its story was composed on the basis of exploring parts of Chrono Trigger's lore, mainly the lore of the Dimensional Vortex and Schala's ascension within the Dream Devourer and later the Time Devourer. Using these elements of time travel through many universes of Final Fantasy, where they would eventually connect back to a single source.
A lot of characters were introduced as well as some familiar faces from Final Fantasy such as Nyx Ulric, Rydia and Terra Branford. Most of the new characters were taken from Evil Mist Rebirth and where reiterated to fit within the standard characteristics of FInal Fantasy and Chrono trigger; they had their history, backgrounds and ambition, drives re-written to fit these project's lore, which would find itself split across a plethora of sub-series and spin-offs, Which included Final Fantasy IX: Ascension, Age of Omen and Presentiment Era.
These spin-offs main purpose was to facilitate the characters in their commune through time before their arrival to the settings and events that would occur in The Zodiac Era. However, due to having the lore becoming so ambitious, rushed and split across different smaller projects things inevitably became inconsistent and hard to follow. Along with other troubles of that development halting progression, it all became too much to bear, too much to juggle at once and the project series and Team Zodiac was discontinued in November 2020.

In 2021, I would find myself trying to find where I wanted to go in the direction of game development. I had always pictured my first real game created in 3D, and 2D never crossed my mind. During this time of pondering, I was off and on with a few remaining hobby projects that would come and go through the year, before I'd make the conscious effort to introduce yet another broad project in the same realm, Chrono Vendian.
This new project would shift away from the crossover style that I had with the defunct Zodiac Trilogy and focus solely on the Chrono series.
On the surface, Chrono Vendian was marketed as a pseudo 3D remake of Chrono Trigger, telling a new story in an alternate timeline before the fall of the Kingdom of Zeal, while focusing on the Vendian geographical period and emerging temporal oddities.
It would feature various gameplay features that would rework what was already given in the game that was being modded (at the time it was FInal Fantasy XII). and change it to be more akin to Chrono's battle system, utilize techs for abilities and re-working those elements into a less restrictive turn based style of combat.

Beneath the surface, however, Chrono Vendian would come with its own troubles and tribulations in its development. One of the things that was not known was that Chrono Vendian was nothing but an alias, a codename so to speak for its true content: a full Chrono Trigger Remake, and if that wasn't bold enough in itself, it was going to be completely remade using Final Fantasy XII with reworked gameplay features.
The reason for this alias was to redirect the possible attention from Square Enix to reduce its chances of being shut down, as seen with Chrono Resurrection after it gained much traction. Though as before with the Zodiac Trilogy, this project development would be rocky, as a lot of elements and tasks were not properly managed and almost rushed in too quickly causing the scope of the project to be completely overlooked and failed to meet expectations as desired. At this point, I was just about burnt out from modding altogether and was working on my last side project at the time, FF4: Ethereal, a small, more managed project where I would take my time with, while subtly managing the remnants of Chrono Vendian.

However, in September of 2021, days after my birthday, I would abandon both Chrono Vendian and all other hobby projects altogether. At this point, I was going through alot at the time, alot of troubles that beckoned as far back as 2020 and I was not ina good place mentally.
My hobby series and project(s) that I had worked on passionately had died, and I would find myself wanting to start fresh and focus on something completely new, where I could focus just on this one thing. This would soon bring me a sense of passion and happiness that I had not felt in years, it was something I needed at the time, and that one thing became Final Kismet.

Previously my projects would have their stories stem from already established lore, which I would then expand upon, Final Kismet would be completely written from the ground up, constructing its lore, characters and world.
Only a few elements from Evil Mist Rebirth would find its way into Final Kismet, characters that is, Derek (renamed Ornitier) Freya, Aaliyah, Steiner Reyes and Geraldine Baldesion.
I never expected my first game to be 2D, but because it was much easier and manageable for me to create in 2D, I figured, if this is the direction I'd take, I would pick an art style of 2D pixel art that I really liked. That style would be the psp releases of Final Fantasy 1, 2 and 4, and Final Fantasy Brave Exvius. I really loved the style and detail of this particular pixel art and once I had the game's art direction solidified, everything there after fell into place quite well.
That's not say I preferred it to be 2D. If I could remake it in 3D, I would without a doubt.

However, I knew that I wanted to include, to some degree, elements of 3D, so this came in the form of CG cinematics, where I could easily incorporate these in the game as movie assets, and have them implemented in a way to emphasize particular events and arcs in the scenario.
The idea of negating the character's special abilities (Overdrives) to CG was inspired by the CG limit bursts in Brave Exvius. Due to the asset uses, it was much easier to implement in game rather than full 3D game ready assets.

Final Kismet is powered by our in-house engine, Tri-Engine.

Along the way, I felt more and more connected when composing the scenario as it was the first time in a long time I had connected with my writing in such a way. Whenever I would feel puzzled in its composition, I would take some time off and revist retro games, particularly Final Fantasy IX, which was the first game I ever played growing up.
I would be inspired once again in my revisits and would place fun allusions and easter eggs to it throughout the scenario of Final Kismet. This would often occur with other games I grew up playing thereafter as well; those special moments I had with them, I would place a fun little allusion in Final Kismet.
My writing style has shaped over the years since Evil Mist Rebirth. Along the way, I have found myself enjoying the style and presentation of scenario writers/directors such as Hiroyuki Owaku, Hirotaka Ishikawa, Kazushige Nojima, Hironobu Sakaguchi and Masato Kato.

Final Kismet and creating games for the enjoyment of it is the reason I create. Sure other factors come along with it, but the only thing that matters to me is the game itself. With Final Kismet you get all you can get in one. I certainly took my sweet time with it. Making sure even one ounce and drop of content I wanted to have for it made it into the final release.
One thing that I really liked in the games I played before was that they were story driven, such as Final Fantasy and had a lot of content in the game itself without the need to opt in to micro transactions or DLC to get that extra detail related to the game. Pouring countless hours into games like FF9, FF4, FF10, FF6, Chrono Trigger/Cross etc. without the need to shell out any more money after the initial purchase of the game itself. These were packed with lore, content, balanced side optional content that made a journey from start to end fulfilling.
And with additions such as Final Kismet's new game plus feature, allows even more replayability.

Final Kismet names derive from my feelings at the time of starting development. It was my last chance at creating something of my own for the video games industry, similarly to Hironobu Sakaguchi in naming Final Fantasy.

I exist to make games and write stories. I will forever be inspired by those who came before me.

some more notes crap i wrote titled: gp.txt

Overview
An immersive, story-driven RPG game using unique HD 2D pixel art graphics and 3D cinematic cutscenes to emphasize major events in the scenario.
Final Kismet™ is a middle-aged hybrid of a war-torn world and fantasy.
The player must fulfill the orders of the Empire, learn about their unheralded secrets, understand their misuse of the planet's natural sources through the abundance of their Mist towers across the northern continents and surrounding nations; learning about the Ectharian race and the planet's source of life—the Vitavis-Alacritas, and the malevolent force that threatens to destroy their world.
-WEBSINFO-
ABOUT THIS GAME
Enjoy the immersive, story-driven RPG told through charming pixel art graphics.
The Sancts created Eikons to fight as slaves to the gods. After the War concluded, the Sancts condemned Eikons to act as guardians of the planet. Centuries later, the Ectharians discovered the Eikons, who granted them the genetic power of magic after being drawn into them. Presently,
the Tochi Empire has installed Mist Towers to absorb the Mist and refine it for infusion in humans to enhance them, giving them the power of artificial magical properties.
Aside from the war-torn world, the secrets of the planet, the Vitavis have yet to be unveiled and the malevolent force that threatens to destroy their world.
Includes high-fidelity 3D cinematic cutscenes to emphasize major events in the scenario.
KEY FEATURES:
・A traditional, classic turn-based battle system.
・Explore and utilize the Dream Rift, the central character development system. Consisting of various nodes and features to grow an individual player character's physical and recessive attributes.
・Overdrive
Accumulates your Overdrive gauge over time. When charged, characters can execute uniquely powerful abilities!
・Dive into the world of the game with supplemental extras such as galleries and New Game Plus.
SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS
MINIMUM:
OS: Windows 8.1 64-bit / Windows 10 64-bit (ver.1909 and above)
Processor: AMD A8-7600 / Intel® Core™ i3-2105
Memory: 4 GB RAM
Graphics: AMD Radeon™ R7 Graphics / Intel® HD Graphics 3000
Storage: 27 GB available space
~8 screenshots consisting of:
In battle
On the field
~4 screenshots consisting of:
Cinematics
~4 screenshots consisting of:
Overdrives
More screenshots/extras on website.

i made some useless audio diaries crap i composed a few months ago with some events and character development in progression. cant bear to listen to it again because i know it'll just halt my ctb further.
and just how stupid pathetic i sound.
i've already written a note months ago thats never changed not even now. it is as it is.

If there's anyone who should be thanking for keeping me alive for as long as I have been it's Ryan. If should ever die before my wake; should I have anything of value? Well clearly there's only one name in this note who to grant it to. That's his.
he genuinely made me smile, happy. made me felt understood about my decisions. I just

I'm not saying I have anything of value, cause lets' face it I would never.
Discriminated against and worthless. just keeps getting better.

no there was nothing you "could've" done.
do cry over my grave because there wont be one.
don't touch my body or do anything. let it rot or burn it ash if you must.
i no longer exist so move on.

its already getting late, better do this now before i end up postponing it again or whatever. if it does ill just keep cutting until im worn down to

 

[CommitSudoku]

I haven't finished reading everything so I apologize for posting before that. Just wanted to say your ideas that I've read seem massive. It seems you really created a whole world for Final Kismet. I'm sorry you couldn't see them into reality and have an actual game made. I can only imagine it would be massive in scale, I like the topics you mentioned that would be addressed and how the characters have no filters. Whatever you think of them (it seems you have a poor opinion), I think it's impressive how much thought and detail you put in.

You don't have to answer and I apologize if you wrote elsewhere, but what method are you going with? I know you mentioning cutting at the end, if that's your method I'm sorry for the pain you'll be put through. Whatever you decide to do thank you for sharing your ideas and thoughts here. Best wishes whatever you do.

Upon reading more did you publish Final Kismet? It feels almost like an autobiography what you wrote. I can't imagine dedicating so much time to projects as you did, it is very impressive to me. The scale of it all reminds me of the one class I took on video game development since they mentioned how you have to consider that and what is possible to do. It sounds like you did still accomplish a lot nonetheless. I like the backstory behind how you named Final Kismet with it being related to your feelings and another's experience with creation which influenced you. I wish depression hadn't made me give up on video games or I might have been able to understand yours better, I was never able to play Final Fantasy so I'm lacking on knowledge of it, I haven't played games in a long while.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm not sure I could ever do the vsed method personally, it sounds so awful. This life is so disappointing and depressing, it sounds like you have suffered a lot. I hope you find relief from your pain in whatever happens.

 

[Cathy Ames]

If you are still here and able to read this, I don't think what you wrote there was "crap." I'm sorry you weren't able to get this game made and about the other things that have brought you to this point. I feel you deserved much better in life, and I hope you can find peace.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Not sure if you're still here or not, but if not, I hope you found the peace you sought after.

 

[ornitier199]

If you are still here and able to read this, I don't think what you wrote there was "crap." I'm sorry you weren't able to get this game made and about the other things that have brought you to this point. I feel you deserved much better in life, and I hope you can find peace.

I had never spoken about it like this until now. I was afraid.

Not sure if you're still here or not, but if not, I hope you found the peace you sought after.

Nope once again I'm still here. Sad.
You know, it's hard for me to forever erase that man's words to me telling me to 'do it, slug'. thing never left me since.

You don't have to answer and I apologize if you wrote elsewhere, but what method are you going with?

I was going with throat slitting, using a serrated blade.
On that day was already night but I every time I'd put the blade right there. Even though I swore this would help not have this happen, the flooded thoughts still came in like a tsunami.

I haven't finished reading everything so I apologize for posting before that. Just wanted to say your ideas that I've read seem massive. It seems you really created a whole world for Final Kismet. I'm sorry you couldn't see them into reality and have an actual game made. I can only imagine it would be massive in scale, I like the topics you mentioned that would be addressed and how the characters have no filters. Whatever you think of them (it seems you have a poor opinion), I think it's impressive how much thought and detail you put in.

That's also what Sandstorm carta studios said too; how massive it was, I, for one didn't think it would've. I still remember at the beginning starting when I didn't even think I would get past two characters.

The thing about Final Kismet is that so much as already been started with it on both the 2D and 3D aspects. It's playable on the game side, still in development, the other side is what makes it feel massive.

i think of the characters as a person of their own. this helps facilitate the composition of their personalities, so they don't appear 1-dimensional or bluntly scripted in their speeches/actions. It comes down to how natural their reaction to the world around them. They speak as they do, the things they say aren't obviously ran through a filter of censor, they speak their mind as their personalities are when around others, faced with obstacles, conflicts, etc. This is the same with NPCs, since we know just how easy it is to have NPCs, be generic as they possibly can. No, they too needed have the same flair, giving the towns, and villages, cities and population life to them, but again, they aren't made to fit a narrative, they are who there are, react naturally to whatever it s around them, and behave as you'd expect someone would in that environment, and even then and could be a surprise.
Things like plot/game logic protection of the characters/ protagonists, etc. are more of an afterthought, so having those choices that affect the character in many ways as it would in reality sets them apart, each character reacts to their environment, the world around them differently.

Upon reading more did you publish Final Kismet? It feels almost like an autobiography what you wrote. I can't imagine dedicating so much time to projects as you did, it is very impressive to me. The scale of it all reminds me of the one class I took on video game development since they mentioned how you have to consider that and what is possible to do. It sounds like you did still accomplish a lot nonetheless.

It's not near a release. Trademarked, but not released. I've thought about the potential publisher, but then again, I'd want to development the game to its fullest on my own terms.
And that's right, I knew that creating the game in 3D, through Unreal or even Unity, could be too much given the scale, so I switched it to 2D. But I knew that I wanted to keep the aspect of 3D, so I mitigated it to cinematics, pre-rendered and easier to implement and level of quality control.

So I paused, thought of what is possible to do, and made the decision to go 2D for the base game.

For 2D, I knew that if I ever did make a 2D game, it would have an art style I really liked, that was also, very unique. Since I've been used to the jrpg and chibi-esque pixel style, I figured I'd take that approach, but I wanted to switch it up a bit, sort of create a hybrid or blend of arts. So I compared the style of a few of my favorite jrpgs, Chrono Trigger, FF6 and FF4. I knew that the sprites could be charming and detailed, but also, as with the case of FF4, there's that chibi approach to the field sprites, I knew that wouldn't necessarily translate well to the characters in FK, since there designed to be more human proportionate, so for the engine, I added additional pixel space on the Y-axis to allow the character sprites to be more human proportionate, straying away from the traditional chibi proportions in most jrpg styles; reminiscent of Chrono Trigger's pixel art, with the frame design reminiscent of FF6's and fluidity of FF4's battle motions.

I like the backstory behind how you named Final Kismet with it being related to your feelings and another's experience with creation which influenced you. I wish depression hadn't made me give up on video games or I might have been able to understand yours better, I was never able to play Final Fantasy so I'm lacking on knowledge of it, I haven't played games in a long while.

is true when on the cusp of ctb just

it is the thing keeping me alive, it feels like its still there pulling me back (a fool I sound like right now).

It's not that FK is going bad in development, but, mainly because there's never enough money to keep up with it. I alluded to this before in the eye of paywalls to everything, even living. Working to the bone is still not enough set aside. I have only one option still in queue that would help tremendously, but its gone dormant almost since then, so I just accepted it and here I am, on the verge of ctb'ing yet still haven't gotten on the bus.
Since I don't have any other chances, if it ever gets cancelled, that's it. all those thoughts stopping me from ctb won't be there anymore.

At least this is what I could make of it so far.

 

[Cathy Ames]

it is the thing keeping me alive, it feels like its still there pulling me back (a fool I sound like right now).

So.... Just so you know, you do NOT sound like a fool. AT. ALL. Okay? You sound like a person with a dream that has transitioned into a GOAL. The dream thing is actually priceless in my book. In all of my lifetime (much longer than yours) I never did find even one single dream of my own--I had some goals, but never a dream. I earnestly hope that (despite the other aspects of your life that are making it extra freaking difficult) you can find a way to keep working on this and PREVAIL.

Also, I totally understand what a limiting factor MONEY (i.e. the lack thereof) can be. I think that was a brilliant way to put it: the opportunity for happiness is paywalled. People who are above a certain threshold income just don't get it. I totally get it. I'm really sorry about that.

I wish @CommitSudoku was still alive to reply to this, but they CTB yesterday.

 

[ornitier199]

So.... Just so you know, you do NOT sound like a fool. AT. ALL. Okay? You sound like a person with a dream that has transitioned into a GOAL. The dream thing is actually priceless in my book. In all of my lifetime (much longer than yours) I never did find even one single dream of my own--I had some goals, but never a dream. I earnestly hope that (despite the other aspects of your life that are making it extra freaking difficult) you can find a way to keep working on this and PREVAIL.

Also, I totally understand what a limiting factor MONEY (i.e. the lack thereof) can be. I think that was a brilliant way to put it: the opportunity for happiness is paywalled. People who are above a certain threshold income just don't get it. I totally get it. I'm really sorry about that.

I wish @CommitSudoku was still alive to reply to this, but they CTB yesterday.

That would certainly be the one thing that causes me to ctb next. I really have only one more chance. But I don't have hope in it because hope only brings disappointment.

I wish @CommitSudoku was still alive to reply to this, but they CTB yesterday.

I wanted to thank them beforehand. I wish I had too. yet I keep clinging onto something no longer worth holding onto now.
I'll get there eventually, my own pace. I'm jus prefer it sooner.