Hey y'all!!! I'm so excited lol. Today is finally the day for me to ctb. My method is I'm gonna get rly drunk (ik it's not the smartest with alc but I don't have access to anything else lol), and do partial. I just got this really strong and sturdy rope from amazon and omg I think this is def the method for me. I've tried tightening around my neck just to test and like it's so weird there's like no anxiety and it's pretty comfortable almost. I can't rly get sn, and jumping/drowning sound rly scary lol so yeah rope it is.
I haven't even posted on this forum before so ig it's kinda weird for my first real post to be this, but I've been lurking for a while and I rly like this forum. This is the only place I feel super accepted and like I'm not completely insane lol so thank u all, I love all of u lolll.
It's so weird too, I'm usually more scared about it and like anxious but this week I was just at my worst and I was convinced I was going to do it on monday, but I didn't have any access to basically any method that wasn't drowning, but everyone talks abt how scary that is so I kinda pussied out xD.
I still just think it's rly rly weird how not scared I feel right now, and I hope it's not too good to be true lol. I rly hope it works and I'm gonna try whatever to make sure it happens at least by tonight. I don't wanna tell you all my life story lol cause I think that's lame, but yeah anyways I'm glad I could at least tell some people that I'm heading out before it happens. I think I'm gonna try and schedule some text messages to everyone just to make sure no one calls 911 or something before I ctb lol. That happened before and I don't rly trust anyone irl now, but here I feel accepttedd.
Anyways lol. Idrk what else to say. Basically just thank u guys/girls and like maybe I'll see you on the other side xD. I wonder if there even is an other side lol. I used to be so scared about death being nothingness but I think now I almost would prefer that.
Okay lol, it's time for me to wrap it up. I'll try and respond if u guys wanna talk or have any questions or whatever, but for obv reasons lol I don't think I'll be able to after tonight. Goodbyyeee everyonee.
I haven't even posted on this forum before so ig it's kinda weird for my first real post to be this, but I've been lurking for a while and I rly like this forum. This is the only place I feel super accepted and like I'm not completely insane lol so thank u all, I love all of u lolll.
It's so weird too, I'm usually more scared about it and like anxious but this week I was just at my worst and I was convinced I was going to do it on monday, but I didn't have any access to basically any method that wasn't drowning, but everyone talks abt how scary that is so I kinda pussied out xD.
I still just think it's rly rly weird how not scared I feel right now, and I hope it's not too good to be true lol. I rly hope it works and I'm gonna try whatever to make sure it happens at least by tonight. I don't wanna tell you all my life story lol cause I think that's lame, but yeah anyways I'm glad I could at least tell some people that I'm heading out before it happens. I think I'm gonna try and schedule some text messages to everyone just to make sure no one calls 911 or something before I ctb lol. That happened before and I don't rly trust anyone irl now, but here I feel accepttedd.
Anyways lol. Idrk what else to say. Basically just thank u guys/girls and like maybe I'll see you on the other side xD. I wonder if there even is an other side lol. I used to be so scared about death being nothingness but I think now I almost would prefer that.
Okay lol, it's time for me to wrap it up. I'll try and respond if u guys wanna talk or have any questions or whatever, but for obv reasons lol I don't think I'll be able to after tonight. Goodbyyeee everyonee.
