Venting Touch starved

[endless-void]

It's been so long I don't get any physical love it feels uncomfortable when someone touches me, even if it's to push me away from their way. Being completely isolated from the rest of the world in real life really made me feel sick, and I don't mean just mentally. I'm always cold, even when it's 45 °C outside, I throw up just with the thought of someone hugging me and actually feeling good about it and I feel so out of touch with reality every single day. This has always been an issue for me and has made me make bad lifestyle choices. I am just so obsessed with the idea of feeling normal again my mind makes up the worst ideas ever. I have this thought about murdering someone just so I could be next to someone without being terrified of it. It would be just one more thought if it wasn't because this feeling is driving me insane and I'd do whatever it takes to stop this.

I hope I'm not the only one.

 

[Sweet Tart]

I don't have much, if any physical contact with other humans these days, but I pet my cat every day. Human affection is so complicated; I can appreciate why you have mixed response to it, tho we may experience it differently.

 

[mouseteacup]

I can relate. I really wish I could cuddle someone, but I recoil from human contact. It makes me feel trapped and uncomfortable. Having such a complicated relationship with touch is terrible sometimes. The COVID pandemic isn't helping with that at all... but people don't go to hug or touch me nearly as frequently anymore without my consent.

 

[winamp]

physical contact is strange for me too

I used to be okay with it but now depending on who it is and my relationship to said person I hate physical touch

if someone touches me I have to change clothes or whatever specific article of clothing they came in contact with depending on the person

because it's like they are stuck on me and that there's a strange weight or I am being contaminated spiritually or mentally if they are a person I strongly dislike and wish that they wouldn't touch me it could be something as small as a tap or touch on the shoulder and I would have to change my shirt

but a lack of physical contact really lets me enjoy weighted blankets, heated blankets, and layers of clothing

I have this thought about murdering someone just so I could be next to someone without being terrified of it

I relate to this a bit because everyone I wish to be in physical contact with I just watch and observe rather than going up to them talking to them and engaging in physical contact wether if it's a hand shake or a hug it feels perverse so I just use talking and observing as a form of physical contact or a replacement for it

 

[MrDarkness]

Last time I was hugged was like 7 years ago, l feel so uncomfortable when people try to get near me, it feels so alien and not normal, then again I don't believe in love

 

[Konnsz]

I'm an incel, even tho I have been constantly looking for that since I was a kid, I never got it, until now, im 22, but it's not enough.

It's like giving a few drops of water to someone thirsty for days.

It's something but it's not enough. I hate this