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HereWeGo!

HereWeGo!

Please give me the guts to _ _ _ 🙏🏻
Dec 7, 2024
100
[English isn't my mother tongue so sorry in advance for possible language incorrections.]

There is a big tragedy when a person doesn't feel well enough and deciding to CTB. And there's also a big tragedy for the driver who is driving the vehicle hitting the suicidal person.

I don't really know why I started this thread. I'm just venting a bit...

Is it just my sick mind thinking it might be worse for a truck driver to hit a person compared to a train driver? I mean the train drivers are taught to be mentally prepared for a hit. Because after what I've read, the possibility for a train driver to hit at least one person during their career are possible more then 50% in my country. But I can imagine the truck drivers some times even haven't consider a lethal hit with a person. Because of that, I would feel it to be much harder for me personally to CTB by a truck than a train.

I don't justify the methods at all, but it is what it is. And I know many of you really are totally against this methods. There will always be awful for everybody involved in a CTB. But I'm curious to know what you think about it? Do you think it would be different between the train driver and the truck driver in general?
By the way, are anyone here either a train driver or a truck driver?
 
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music

music

space cadet
Feb 1, 2023
81
my dad killed himself after around sixteen years as a train driver and i am certain that the three attempts i've either overheard or been told about in hindsight contributed massively to that outcome. naturally, that's contributed to my being on a site like this too. an experience like that doesn't leave you when you get off work.
i don't need to go into details on all of that so more on the topic of your thread: i feel like train is worse in the expected brutality of it and the amount of people around to witness or hear about it. those drivers are just that, too. people. they aren't prepared for or expecting that to happen when just doing their jobs. they have a family and lives, as do the passengers or onlookers. just do not do that. horrible on all fronts.
 
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HereWeGo!

HereWeGo!

Please give me the guts to _ _ _ 🙏🏻
Dec 7, 2024
100
@music I'm so sorry to hear about your lost. I am glad you contributed to this thread. I'm wishing you all the best!
 
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Nemaki Arber

Nemaki Arber

Lost soul & chat lurker
Mar 24, 2023
56
Not a train driver but a car driver, so they're even less prepared, my most serious suicide attempt involved jumping in front of a car which left me physically disabled but still able to walk.

I think alot about the driver I traumatized that night few years ago, I hope they're okay, I feel immense guilt for dragging them into my shit, I wish I knew who they were so I could apologize and offer anything to ease the trauma I've inflicted on them.

Wether someone is trained to expect it or not, if they have the slightess sliver of empathy in them it will be at the very least something they won't forget, something that will at some level cut in their soul. Witnessing these sorts of things is not for the sensitive but even the hardest people can be affected.

I'd be a hypocrite if I said I'm against any methods that directly involves an unwilling party such as a driver, but all methods leaves trauma behind one way or another; finding the dead body, realizing that they acted too late, etc, all we can do is leave the least amount of pain in our path until the world accepts to give us the right to die on our own terms, time and with dignity.
 
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Jdieiejdjaow

Experienced
Nov 10, 2021
206
Trauma becomes a problem when it remains unresolved. For example, one might experience a trauma but not develop (C)PTSD. The criteria for that is to have secure attachment and safe people to work the trauma with (someone who believes you and has your back).

If the overwhelm (trauma) gets stuck, then that person got traumatized.

I'll transition in a hotel room if it ever gets to it. Most likely that person discovering me (the cleaner) will be traumatized if she doesn't have safe supports in her life. Now that I'm thinking, I'll probably leave a note apologizing and suggesting trauma therapy to that person. 🙂

Rest of the people who knew you, if they ever get the news, will also have vicarious trauma.
 
Michi_Violeta

Michi_Violeta

Specialist
Feb 3, 2025
319
Death is a naturally traumatic thing to experience and I think the right to die comes with the duty to do some damage mitigation. Only exception I can think of is perhaps those who see their suicide as a message towards their abusers to repay them in kind and I'm nobody to judge in that scenario because they are mostly cases which involve a level of pain I can't imagine. It won't make any difference really between a train driver or a truck driver, no civilian is prepared for this. It's not comparable in terms of scale, but a motorcyclist once crashed into my car and fell to the ground in front of me driving: I was able to stop with meters to spare and nothing serious happened, but I got flashbacks for a good couple of days about that body just sliding in front of me, their life in my hands. I can only imagine how hard it must be for someone to live something similar with fatal consequences...

Your reasons to CTB are your own and are perfectly valid in that regard, no judgement there, but please consider less gruesome ways to go that involve as few innocents as possible.
 
Grav

Grav

Warlock
Jul 26, 2020
776
I read that there's a "smear tunnel" to show nyc firemen what it looks like for someone who is hit. Don't think the drivers get that training.
 
locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
8,026
I think a lot of people in this world, just because of how "things" are, have become pretty much desensitized to just about anything, even hitting a suicidal person with a truck or train. I know if I hit someone who jumped out in front of my vehicle on purpose, I'd be more pissed at the damage it caused to my vehicle and not really traumatized by the actual suicide itself. That's just me. Ymmv.
 
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